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-   -   Celibacy (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=192)

QuietWOW January 14th, 2001 06:09 PM

This discussion is intended as a place to discuss the issues around celibacy, whether chosen or enforced. Women who have chosen to be celibate often find they it is assumed that they have no sexual feelings or sexuality. Women choose to became celibate for various reasons - not exlusively for reasons around spirituality. Some women find that they have improved intimacy in the celibate life, and deeper, more romantic friendships with both men and women.

So, how do you feel about celibacy? Is it possible to make celibacy into a positive choice in such a sex-mad world?

fishead April 23rd, 2001 05:47 PM

Color me bizzaro-fishey, but I truely do not understand celibacy!! I see that this thread is not well worn. (0 messages prior to mine)

Now I am, by NO means a prevert, however (and maybe it is because I require instant gratification for most of the other areas of my life---I am NOT very patient)I don't see how celibacy can enhance your love-life. I DO understand how it can protect from STD's. But unless it is an imposed celibacy I DONT GET IT.

huee April 25th, 2001 02:45 AM

ok, i guess i just have to respond to this post. i have practiced varying periods of celibacy in my life (both chosen & enforced). the last time just ended recently. up until this week, i had gone 18 months w/out having sex. this was in correlation w/my desire to gain some sanity in my life. for myself, sexual relationships often seem to be accompanied by a certain degree of craziness that invades the rest of my life. i know that i accomplish more intellectually/creatively when i am celibate. i have also managed to deepen my emotional connections w/everyone in my life lately. part of that is due to my increased focus on ppl's souls & not their bodies. b/c of this, my love life has improved - i'm a firm believer in the idea that true love comes from conversation not sex.

QuietWoman April 25th, 2001 04:45 AM

(((((((huee))))))) That's a great explanation :)

fishead April 25th, 2001 08:23 AM

Okay, now my mind is on the right track.
Sanity?? Hmmm maybe I should try this celb. thing!!
Interesting that you are more creative when celb. I imagine that you are not alone.
I know that I am part of the aggregate that is creative when in emotional pain (only time I can write).
Do you have other outlets for your creative juices or is this your main circuit breaker? If it IS, do you enjoy the celibacy knowing that in the end it will bear creative fruit?

shergo April 27th, 2001 11:33 PM

Hmmm, I would prefer not to be celibate, but so far, whenever I have tried to date (I have been divorced for 9 years!), I vomit. This is not conducive to a sexual relatioship! The closest I have gotten to a penis lately is bathing my two male dogs. :(

Lou April 28th, 2001 01:15 AM

ROFL (((shergo)))

QuietWoman April 28th, 2001 06:46 PM

(((((shergo))))) That sounds kinda tough hon, notwithstanding the dog bathing!

shergo June 24th, 2001 09:58 AM

Certainly is tough! <G>

But I have to admit--I have become much more self-assured and am very creative. :-)

Muskrat July 14th, 2001 09:43 PM

Um can I ask a question re: definition fo celibacy?

Does celibacy mean no sex with other people or no sex at all? Is self-fulfillment part of the deal?

huee July 15th, 2001 07:52 PM

i never thought of that. for me, celibacy means no sex w/other ppl, although after awhile, that tends to carry over. i tend to get very easily distracted by sex, so the less i do, the more i get done in the rest of my life.

Ayla July 20th, 2001 10:35 PM

when confused, don't make life more complicated
Hi all,

What do I have to say about celibacy? Mostly that it saved my sanity. I was celibate from the age of 17 until just after my 28th birthday. You heard me, 11 years. Why? I was confused about who I was and what I wanted. While most of my friends who now identify as lesbian were out getting too much sex with men, becoming pregnant, getting married, etc, I was staying at home tending to my crochet and needlepoint. I knew something was different but I could not determine just what it was. I honestly could not see the difference between men and women (still don't actually) and for the longest time I said (thought) I was asexual. I now know I am a lesbian leaning bisexual. Happiest with women but undeniably attracted to both.

Now i'm nearly 32 and once again I am in a celibate stage in my life. This time its more about me figuring out what I want to be when I grow up then it is about sex/gender questions. Why add sexual relations to the mix when my head is all clouded up with issues of what to do and where to live? It hasn't been that long since my last encounter, only a mere 8 weeks but I suspect this dry spell won't be over for a while yet.

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Ayla July 20th, 2001 10:40 PM

Muskrat - to answer your question. For me, during my 11 years of nothing, celibacy meant nothing from nobody including myself. I simply wasn't interested.

Now I say ME ME ME!!!!! I don't need anyone else but if I feel the need why not deal with it.

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NWMUSLIMAH May 30th, 2004 02:06 AM

celibate and proud
i am celibate and very happy with my choice. for me it is spiritual. i dont want to marry so sex is just not part of my life. i am the kind of person who is happiest on my own. a confirmed spinster/old maid and proud of it!:D

brede June 9th, 2004 01:00 PM

I don't think my husband would like it if I was celibate!!! Being sick so much of the time, he calls it illness celibacy. He says that he doesn't mind because when I am so sick he takes care of me and that is showing his love in a different way.

Poor guy!

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