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-   -   Helping an abused friend? (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=1281)

Foreverauntie August 18th, 2008 04:41 PM

Helping an abused friend?
I have taken in an abused friend. We have her 4 kids there, also. I don't know if I am really helping her. 2 bedrooms, 7 people, it is kind of hard. My boyfriend and I gave up our space. We are on the floor. She is getting very comfortable there. She hasn't done anything to improve her situation. It has been 3 weeks and we are running out of money. Everyone tells me that I should of taken her to a womens shelter. They would have helped her faster. Now, what do I do? She isn't working, she is scared to move forward, but I need her to. I cannot afford to feed 7 people. I know how she feels, I was her once. But, now she wants to escape life and I need her to face it for her and her kids. I know I screwed up, but I only wanted to help. Please can someone help me?

kraftykid August 18th, 2008 05:19 PM

Foreverauntie, we all walk that thin line of helping or enabling. Have a serious talk with her that you cannot afford to support 7 people and that she must seek help. You can go so far as giving her a deadline to meet this obligation. She MUST think of her children first. I don't know where you live so I don't know what is available. Personally I would not sleep on the floor for anybody. Neither my husband or I could get up in the morning.

I don't mean to sound like I don't care, we have given up our bed but we had a soft couch and folding bed. We had company and the woman suffers from Dementia so we tried to make it as easy for her as possible.

A friend of mine use to say that for every good deed you do you earn a star for your crown. However, you have to be careful that you don't over do, cause then you get CS.

Good luck.

Tiffin August 19th, 2008 11:06 AM

Foreverauntie...have talk with friend, then offer to help her find a women's center/shelter that she and children can go to and that she must be in that shelter within the next few days. Assure her that you will visit her and keep contact but YOU can not any longer be her shield from life.

She must move on even though its scary.

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