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-   -   i'm married and love someone else (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=1699)

Hopelessly in luv July 13th, 2011 11:26 AM

Same here
 
I can't get too much into detail about this whole story....but I have been married for 13 yrs, off and on in this married relationship tho, I have left my husband twice so far, the last time I left, he filed for divorce, but, before it actually was finalized, I decided to come back for the sake of our 2 kids. During our seperation, I had the kids and then one day, he went up to my sisters, where I was staying, and took my kids without me knowing, and when I got home, they weren't there! I was outraged! He said I couldn't have them back and he filed for full custody of them, and he also took me for child support and I had to pay for child support for the next 6 months that I was seperated from him. Well, now that I came back, I really never had those feelings again, due to only coming back for my kids, because I missed them so much and I was lost without them! But I am not happy with him, and I don't want to hurt my kids. Is it wrong to want to leave because I don't want to be with him and only be here so the kids have us together as they grow up? Also when we were seperated we were both with different partners, he dated and I dated a few also, but he said he'd call it even being that we were getting back together, we should just forget about ever doing that.
In the last few months, I have met this gentleman, he compliments me all the time on how beautiful I am and my husband never did that, he always said he wasn't the romantic type, and I am all about romance, is that why I am looking for the romance somewhere else? I really want to be with this guy, I have true romantic, and loving feeling for him. The only thing is if I leave my husband now, I am afraid he will do the same thing and take the kids, and this guy lives in another country, and I would have to move there, and I wouldn't get to see my kids if I move there. My current husband now says that if I ever leave him again, I wouldn't have to worry about it, cause he'll put a bullet in my head. What should I do about my situation?

ashtangagirl July 21st, 2011 10:33 PM

I'm new to this forum and found it when I was searching the Internet this evening. Just as the title states in this thread...I'm married, but in love with someone else.

I've been married to my husband for 5 years, but we've been together for 9 years. I met him after my freshman year in college and we stayed together and got married after I graduated. He is a wonderful man and loves me very much. He was raised Catholic (as was I) and is very moral and religious. He is respectful, kind, and would do anything for me. I am a horrible person for feeling the way I feel and doing what I am doing to him.

In February, I met someone else - a younger man. He is 10 years younger than me, and I am falling in love with him. I don't understand any of this. I love my husband, and he treats me so well...but there is something about this other man. We kissed for the first time in April and recently began sleeping together. It's so hard to get time away to see each other but when we do, I am happy every second we are together. He makes me laugh, and feel young and beautiful.

Apart from the infidelity and the fact that I am being an awful, dishonest person in my marriage, I don't think my "boyfriend" is falling in love with me. He's young enough that he is still figuring out who he is and what he wants, and though I know he likes me very much I'm pretty sure this is just a fling for him...which is all it really should ever be for me, too.

I don't expect anyone to be able to tell me something that will magically fix all of this, but I just feel like I needed to tell someone. I have no one in my life that I can discuss this issue with - everyone absolutely loves my husband and would be so upset with me. Also, I have many friends that have been cheated on, and do not respect those who cheat.

I just feel like since I got married, I changed so much and began to grow apart from my husband. We have separate hobbies and interests and don't really have anything that we do together. When I've brought this up to him, he doesn't see it as a problem. I feel like we are growing apart every single day, and being wrapped up in this affair is making it worse. I've tried but I can't seem to let the affair go...I am constantly checking my phone and Facebook for texts and messages from my "boyfriend" and will turn the world upside down if it means that I can even spend an hour with him.

My "boyfriend" is away for an overnight trip so all I can do is sit here and think about him...so thanks for listening! I sound so pathetic!

precious July 23rd, 2011 08:04 PM

If you are truly not in love with your husband, a trip will not change that. I just went camping and that certainly didn't help!

MsBaroneLuv July 25th, 2011 10:44 PM

Im almost married but I Love someone else ;(
 
Ive been with my fiance for 3 years..I love him but as soon as we moved in together things took a turn for the worst. He breaks things when hes upset he tells me hurtful things etc etc. I always know I deserve better but I cant see myself leaving. I really dont have a family that will help me. Recently Some in which I was inlove with contacted me via Facebook. This man told me he'd made a mistake and he wishes he could turn back time. I instantly felt a sorrow in my heart and started to cry. I know we could never be together because My fiance and the other man share mutual friends although my fiance never knew of me dating him vice versa. I didnt accept his request on FB & he is not aware Im engaged . I know my feelings are still there but I just am so afraid of the outcome of me even answering the old flame back...Keep in mind me a my fiance met and he told me he loved me within a month of us dating and our relationship was very rushed & I feel as if now Everything is starting to sink in.. Maybe we should of gotten to know eachother more & I wouldve realized He wasnt for me ...I need someone to understand my little dilemma lol ;):cry::hi:

MsBaroneLuv July 25th, 2011 10:46 PM

and just to add to Jessicas post.. We just recently went away on a beautiful Caribbean vacay & it was horrid!!! Constant nickering and crankiness for no reason

sistergirl July 26th, 2011 02:46 AM

I think the logical and sensible thing to do is to tell your fiance' you are not ready and need time to think...alone! He does sound a bit violent, are you concerned?

MsBaroneLuv August 1st, 2011 02:56 PM

I always ignore my negative feelings & I just feel like if i leave my life is going to head downhill..I used to be so happy and wake up feeling energized now im just dreading going to sleep and waking up. Could it be I rushed into this whole relationship because i needed stability and comfort? I should of got to know him better before i made life changing decisions. He is the type to humiliate me in public if i ever try to leave him. It great when things are good but deep down I know I wish i was single being on my own again. I miss my life.

georgie August 1st, 2011 05:34 PM

MsBaroneLuv, Don't ruin your life. It's not too late to leave. Things may only get worse instead of better. You know that you don't truly love him, so it won't be hard to leave him. You may not get together with your old flame, but you also need to be with someone you are comfortable with. If you get married and have kids, it will be harder to leave. Live. You deserve it. You will not regret it. I wish I had the chance you have. I live to regret it to this day. I live for my children.

sistergirl August 4th, 2011 08:37 PM

Wow! I very much agree with georgie...you have something a lot of people don't have anymore, an opportunity to avoid what will be a miserable (even more than now) life!

Take advantage of the fact that you are being given this chance. You only have two choices...leave or stay. It is "your" life, not his or mine or any one's, it's your life. Take good care of it. :)

sistergirl August 4th, 2011 08:38 PM

georgie...Hugs.

Jennifer23 August 6th, 2011 02:49 PM

I agree with Georgie and sister. It's YOUR life.

IRISH_EYES_99 August 6th, 2011 05:29 PM

If you decide to leave. Then please take time to know yourself better, & see what it is you really want. Don't jump out of one relationship into the other without given time to you. If you can get away for a week or a few days.. no cell phone just be by yourself in a place that's comfortable for you to think. Good luck.

Good luck which ever decision you make. Like they said make sure it's the right for you. Don't look back -- look forward.

Wolf_angel August 7th, 2011 09:19 AM

I so agree with what IRISH said! If you are going to get out of that relationship dont jump into another. Take time out for yourself. Get comfortable on your own by your own rules. Things will work out in time. You owe it to yourself. Good Luck Hugs

Jennifer23 August 7th, 2011 03:14 PM

Yes. Don't jump into another bad situation. Think about it.

sistergirl August 7th, 2011 06:50 PM

Now she has no choice. ha ha...It's unamimous.


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