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-   -   i'm damned coz i'm a women (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=1236)

gris sky July 10th, 2008 06:32 AM

i'm damned coz i'm a women
i was all my life emotional and verbal abused by the male of my familly loll and also by the old women only coz i'm a female and it's the male who have 2 controle me ..no liberty no talk at all and in the extreme when i'm fud up and say no it can reach the physical abuse who is verry normal against women and they can say it's a right i our society..hate this and some time i hate all the men,i know it's not a solution but what can i do more,i'm 35 yearsold ingeneer who work but still can be ecrased by the man familly when i dare saying no and i always do it..want my liberty and my humanity i'm asking this 2 god coz i know that no person can do anything 4 me..a suicide a verry lovely solution some time but can do it coz it's so forbidden by my religion and also coz that i feel i have lost my earth life and dont want 2 loose the other life. here i want friends 2 talk with and be listned..friendship is force ..

damara roy July 10th, 2008 07:00 AM


gris sky July 14th, 2008 07:56 AM

hi darama roy:)

Napolitana <3 July 14th, 2008 12:45 PM

Hey im really sorry about what is happning to you...you should NEVER feel like theres no way out...i would reather runaway then live like that....is there no one that can help you?

OkieStorm July 14th, 2008 01:06 PM

Gris Sky
I hate to hear that you are in that situation. We in America at times forget how lucky we are for the freedoms we have. I have no way of physically helping but I, as well as alot of other women here are very capable of listening and being a friend. I like what you said....
Friendship is Force

goddess July 14th, 2008 10:06 PM

Draw comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and that you are a very strong woman. If you were not strong, you would not be able to tell us part of your storey.
I wonder if there is some underground women's movement where you are? Someplace where you can be safe, is that possible? You hang in there, and continue to be strong.

gris sky July 21st, 2008 08:49 AM

hi goddess ,NAPOLITANA ,okiestorm and darama roy:
"underground women's movement " if only it exist..i saw t in r movies and it's really important and fantastic thing,but it doesn't exist here coz we r a defferent society ..can't explain this but hope 1 day it's ll be possible .and 4 NAPOLITANA be sure dear that there is no person 2 help coz it's a mute rule..the supremacy is 4 the men here..of cource if u r rich that ll make a defference coz monez bye the respect,the security and the power and even with this u 'll be always a 2nd citizen,the weak part of the couple and the 1 who can loose his right easly..a lot of 2 say but no force or envy..but i'm always hoping 4 a better futur,dont want and can't continue like this...

Nimue January 4th, 2009 09:11 PM

As a woman I feel it is important to know where my strength is. And to try to avoid looking outside of myself for strength. Sometimes the most practical thing is to seek help but still we should attempt to nurture the strength that is within us, understand it... allow it to grow... I think some of us never realize we even have any of our own strength.

There was a movie I saw a long time ago about maybe four Asian women... all dealing with difficulties in their lives. I wish I could remember the name of it. It is one of the "classics" but in color, perhaps from ten or fifteen years ago? Anyway, if you pay close attention to the film you can learn a lot about finding your strength. Wish I could remember the name of it.

I remember in one scene a pig of a husband smashed his hand into a watermelon and then ripped out a fist full of the flesh as a sort of display of attitude towards his new wife. The melon symbolizing the wife's body. Ring any bells?

NanaHerself January 6th, 2009 10:13 AM

Nimue, the movie was "The Joy Luck Club," and you're so right - it was an excellent representation of the difficulties faced by women of other cultures who migrate to the United States. Many of these brave women bring with them their wonderful traditions and values, but they cannot magically erase long-standing, historical conflicts between generations and genders. Added to their burden is the new conflict of cultures, particularly poignant when one views how the first generation American children of immigrant parents are torn between wanting to "fit in" with their American friends and wanting to please their parents, who often refuse to accept new ideas and language.
gris sky, I know this is a very late response, but I hope you still are reading the forum here. As long as there is life, there is hope for change and improvement. You are an educated woman with high intelligence. It is difficult for you to be repressed and dismissed by men as being of lesser value. Please understand the source - men who have been raised in such a culture fear the power of women, for they do not understand that our power is used for the good of the family and the community, not for competition, superiority, or revenge as men have historically used their power. Things WILL change; they will not change quickly, but they will change for the better. In the meantime, you can do all that you can to educate other young women of the importance of never giving up working for their complete independent rights so that they can live and love equally with men for the best their society can be. Teach this to your children or your nieces (and nephews!!); teach wherever and however you can. Some places you might contact for help are listed here. I have no personal knowledge of these particular organizations, and much of this information is old (addresses may have changed, etc.), but these would be a place to start:
- Association Pour l'Emancipation de la Femme
Chouaki Ourida / Ait Kaki Djazia
Foyer Municipal BT C Hussein Dey
Alger, Algeria
Association Espoir et Fraternite
Cite Badjaran II BT. AG A N# 5
Alger, Algeria
Association Independante pour le Triomphe des Droits des Femmes
26 Boulevard Mohamed V
Alger 16000, Algeria
Association Sonatrach-Solidarite
10 Rue du Sahara Hydra
Alger, Algeria
Association SOS Femmes en Detresse
Complexe Culturel de Ben Aknoun
Alger, Algeria
[old phone no: 02 66 87 25 - try to call if you are in trouble]
Association Voix de Femmes
B.P. 33 Boumerdes
33 000
Collectif Feminin Bnat N'soumer
24 Rue des Pins
Alger, Algeria
Femmes Algeriennes Unies pour l'Egalite des Droits
B.P. Local N# 5 Garidi II
Kouba Alger
Observatoire National des Droits de l'Homme
Palais du Peuple, Avenue Franklin Roosevelt
Alger 16000
Solidarite des Femmes Arabes
39 Rue Didouche
Alger, Algeria
Union National de la Mujeres Saharaui
1 Rue Franklin Roosevelt, BP 10
Alger, Algeria
Union Nationale des Femmes Algeriannes (UNFA)
22 Boulevard Franklin Roosevelt
Algiers, Algeria
[For advancement of Algerian women in industry, agriculture, politics, social, and cultural activities]
I will keep you in my prayers.
Si vous voulez, ecrivez a moi ici pour autre aide. Bonne chance ma soeur!

Nimue January 31st, 2009 06:20 AM

Good News, I remembered the name of the movie!

Originally Posted by Nimue (Post 55807)
There was a movie I saw a long time ago about maybe four Asian women... all dealing with difficulties in their lives. I wish I could remember the name of it. It is one of the "classics" but in color, perhaps from ten or fifteen years ago? Anyway, if you pay close attention to the film you can learn a lot about finding your strength. Wish I could remember the name of it.

The movie is called 'The Joy Luck Club'.. I wish everyone of you would watch it and really pay attention to the meaning.

moniker February 14th, 2011 06:51 PM

Gris, Nana has given a list of places for you in Algeria...but have you thought about leaving and going to a more modern country?

NanaHerself February 21st, 2011 02:14 AM

We have not heard from gris sky in a long time. I would be very interested in knowing how she is doing. Thank you for responding, moniker.

gris sky February 22nd, 2011 09:41 AM

hi..i'm 38 now and nothing changed..and it's worse when getting older and single in such society..still working,still feeling young and full of life but also tired and extremly scared 2 end this life witout knowing what's love ,theatre ,opera,traped and dont know what 2 do ..i'm hoping but is it enaugh..sure it isn't...damn..

NanaHerself February 28th, 2011 02:01 AM

Hello Gris
I am happy to hear from you, but I am sorry that things are not better yet. Did you try to contact any of the places I named earlier? You can also try to contact an American, Canadian, British, or Australian embassy, or that of any country where you speak that language to ask for help in emigrating to a better place. Even with the world's current economy crisis, many countries prefer immigrants who have a good education, especially engineering. I will keep you in my prayers always. Never give up hope.

gris sky March 18th, 2011 12:58 PM

Hi and thx Nana..
the adresses u named r purely theorical and political 1..believe me i live here and i know what i m talking about..in the best case they can give u some juridic advices or help u 2 have a minor work ..such organisations have no real power coz siciety is more powerfull..what 2 say u can't even believe how we live unless u live here 4 a while and u ll understand that we r the silent part of life ( our talk ,our vestements even the colour we wair have 2 be discret..)dont want 2 talk more about this ..it frustrate me more..
immigration u said it's not so easier than u say ..since i was in the university i trayed green card..most of european universities and the last was the canadien immigration but it cost 2 much 4 me ,have nothing 2 sell,jowerly,car or any thing coz i belong 2 a working class and what i earn from my work i help it at home and dont 4get what we earn here it so little thing....do u know that the price of a good mobile is more than what i earn in a month lollllllllllll ..want 2 change all this or at least found an open minded person here and have my own family far 4 every 1 even my family ,rise my children differently..learn 2 the boy 2 respect and love girl and 2 my girl 2 not be afraid of any thing and ll support here..even this i ccan't have it dou know why..coz educate and strong women r not a good combination here ,no tong,no opinion it's the divice 2 be a good women ..hate this and cant live more of all this no sence..sorry talking so much..in God we believe and from God i'm waiting help..:tool1:

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