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-   -   Bathtime blues - being single (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=2003)

PrincessZooba December 25th, 2010 03:41 AM

Bathtime blues - being single
Hi everyone! This is my first thread! yay me! i called it bathtime blues because I was in the bathtub last nite and thought of getting involved online with forums and blogs =D so here I am!

So my life transition is the whole issue of dealing with moving from the mindset of wanting love and a serious relationship to being single and totally against wanting to let myself fall in love again.....

its damn frustrating looking back at previous relationships and wondering what I did wrong and finding a million faults with myself...blaming myself for ex #1 losing his mind, ex #2 being a stoner and possible alcoholic and ex #3 being an emotionally challenged mess....

yes ive dated losers - but i dont see the reason to love ANY guy even if he aint a druggie or has an icebox for a heart....the pain is too intense and i dont want to take the chance of getting hurt EVER again.

finally i have to the conclusion that I am infact an island - who does not need to be loved by a man because love doesnt last...

so besides overdosing on ZUMBA =D I have been occupying myself with different occupations to enjoy my miserable single life.....

I guess im looking for ladies who can relate to what i feel.....I wanna know how other people deal with their single lives....

Jennifer23 December 25th, 2010 11:24 AM

Hi Princess,
I think we all go through down periods, and I've been with some losers too - believe me! But, don't give up. Saying that you don't want another relationship because you don't want to be hurt is like saying you'll never get another dog because the little puppy that you loved finally died. If you get another puppy, you'll become attached to him too, knowing you'll probably outlive him as well, but you get him because of the companionship.

Well, guys aren't puppies, and the next one you end up with may be the keeper; the one you'll always be with. So, chin up, girl! Don't give up. Hope this helped.

PrincessZooba December 25th, 2010 04:06 PM

thanx jennifer for ur response =D but i want ideas on how to be content being single.....i dont wanna think about the next guy. I just wanna ride solo for a while and take a break from being used by people. sometimes theres just the feeling of emptiness that comes with being single and I just want to know how other women deal with that feeling.....

Jennifer23 December 25th, 2010 04:51 PM

OK. I was totally single for a year or so, and what I did was just connect with my girls. We'd have GNOs or GNIs, but it was always fun! Interacting with my female friends made it soooo much easier to just relax, have fun, and have girltalk, and that's something you can't do with a guy! LOL But, that's what I would do if I were you. Your girlfriends can really help you put your mind straight! Give it a try, Princess!

PrincessZooba December 26th, 2010 05:28 AM

i actually enjoy my own company -because i find myself bitching about guys and life when im with the girls and they are only too keen to bitch too lol.....but thanx for ur response hun! its much appreciated =D

Jennifer23 December 26th, 2010 12:09 PM

Well, OK. If you have hobbies to keep you occupied that would be good. Just don't get too bored, Princess!

WDianneS December 27th, 2010 11:43 AM

Wow, that's a tough one!

I have been married twice, taken advantage of both times, and toward the end of the second marriage I found out what true love really was when someone else came along who REALLY loved me. That relationship was short when my love was taken by illness.

It was over 15 years before I even thought about dating again .... I mean after you have had True Love once, what's the odds of finding it again?

But in the last few years I have worked through a lot of the crap from my childhood, found out who I am, and found out what I am really capable of (in terms of depth of emotion) and really started to feel lonely again. After all, 61 years and never having a good relationship isn't a very good track record!

Not having any family (just a sister and a niece in a different part of the country) the holidays are really hard but I try to spend time with my friends, try to expand my circle of friends into new areas, and connect with others on a more meaningful and less superficial way. Still, if it wasn't for my faithful and loving dog I don't know how I would manage. I am still a hopeless romantic (despite experience to the contrary LOL!)

Hang in there Sister! Become your own best friend, enjoy your friendships with others, and live life with an open mind - you never know what Fate will throw in your path! :)

PrincessZooba December 27th, 2010 10:14 PM

wow WDianneS.... you must be such a strong woman! to go through so much and still be positive about life! i admire that quality! It seems like you have dealt with loss and loneliness and still managed to rise above it! 2 things that I find myself hard to get over! I wish you all the best hun! I will keep you in my prayers! and thanx so much for the advice! <3 <3 <3

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