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-   Cyberlife! (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=58)
-   -   Strange looks? (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=270)

Tammy February 25th, 2001 02:31 PM

When I think of my friends, I think of a lot of people I've never met. After 5 years online, mostly here in WOW, there are a lot of women I consider just as much my friends as the people I see in the 3D world.. in some cases, moreso.

The woman I consider to be my very best friend, I've never met "for real." I met her here in WOW and I've known her for about 5 years. We talk online, we talk on the phone, we've even sent ::gasp:: snail mail. <g>

I sure get some strange looks when people find out I've never met my best friend "for real"

Sooo.. am I alone here? <G>

MagnusPI February 25th, 2001 07:27 PM

You are not alone!
 
{{Tammy}} I think the friends I make online tend to be a tad less judgemental then the folks in RL. Besides online I can ignore folks who get on my nerves a bit easier then in rl. I do find myself wanting to say rofl or lol at times or brb or afk at others to folks in the "real world"!

LiamFan! February 25th, 2001 07:37 PM

I say "BRB" all the time.

DrHilieWho February 25th, 2001 09:27 PM

ROFL Liam!! I say LOL or AFK once in awhile.

Tammy February 26th, 2001 12:15 AM

ROFL!!

Ok.. here's a dysfunctional family confession..

I mentioned elsewhere that my Mom spends as much time on her computer as I spent on mine. Her computer is about 15 feet from mine.

Sad point number one: we have 3 computers in a 10' by 20' space and there's only 2 of us in here.

Sad point number two: we don't have a TV at the moment (more on that, in a different folder <g>)


I'm drifting. The dysfunctional part..

We talk to each other on AOL Instant Messenger AND on ICQ. And the other morning, she emailed me and told me to take the trash to the curb.

I answered.


QuietWoman February 26th, 2001 06:13 AM

ROFL!!!!! You two are wild.

Mind you, I can see Pino and I getting into sending ICQ messages across the hall now - so I've no room to talk!

I say LOL sometimes, and BRB - but I try not to do it too much when I'm actually at work :D

I guess cyber-friendship is a bit like the modern equivalent of penpals? It seems to me that there's a long history of people being friends, who never met, but that because this new method is to do with *drumroll* COMPUTERS and *gasp* THE INTERNET it seems strange to people who haven't tried it yet.

Stophie February 27th, 2001 07:05 AM

Me Too!!!
 
My TWO bestest friends in the world I met online. D aka Derek I have met in person 3 times...funny thing was, until we met I didn't have a very high opinion of him. The moment we met we "clicked" and I treasure the friendship we have developed. He is a Canuck and I periodically threaten to move in with him and Cathy should US politics continue the path I fear they will.
Amy, however, I have never met in person, and we have been friends for a little over 2 years. We share the same birthday, altho I am a couple of years older. We have been thru ALL the highs and lows together. We are so alike in personality it is both a little scary and refreshing. There is no way I can properly convey how much our friendship means and has done for me in this forum. Good news is this year we are finally going to meet, and spend our birthdays together.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)

WA114 March 25th, 2001 06:56 PM

I have two best friends. One here in my city (we call each other "chickie"), and the other, Shea, whom I've never actually met. Each is equally special, and each offers something different and unique and contributes to my personal growth.

I'm a little sad in the knowledge there is the possibility "chickie" might be moving away. :(

From the first e-mail from Shea, I knew we were kindred spirits. She is a sweetie. My biggest regret is that sometimes the obligatiosn of home and family are such that we can't write as often as we'd like. But I have been there to support my "hyster sister" and she was there to support me through the loss of a family member.

Friends are friends regardless of the medium -- if they exhibit the characteristics, traits, and attributes of a true friend, that's what matters. DLC55 can tell you more about what a true friend is -- her recent posts in WS on that subject have really moved many. I hope she posts her thoughts on that here. :)

{{{ DLC55 }}}

My two cents. (Canadian economy being what it is, that don't amount to jack. ROFL) ;)

DLC55 March 26th, 2001 01:05 AM

{{{WA}}} I had a feeling there was a reason you ask me had I been to the boards lately.

I have made many friends online. When I tell people I know about chatting and the friends I've made, I usually get these looks of "what planet are you from"? Why on earth would I even consider meeting people I chat with? Trying to explain the friendships to those who don't understand seems futile sometimes. Many times I hear that you can't form friendships with people you don't see face to face everyday. I know that isn't true because of the best friend I had in 3D.

I always had friends but I never had a best friend growing up. We moved so much I always wondered what was the use, all it meant was having to leave someone behind when we moved again.

I found my best friend when I was 20. We did everything together from grocery shopping to raising kids, playing cards till all hours of the morning and everything best friends do. She was always there for me, during my labors, divorce and struggles being a single mom. We were a strange combination for friends, or so people thought. It never mattered to me that Sandy never finished school or that she married when she was 15 or that she never kept her house spotless. We endured strange looks from everyone when we were out together because of the differences in us. What mattered was her loyalty to and her faith in me. We giggled at secrets and shared thoughts and dreams. We laughed and cried together and got mad at each other over silly things, but it still came back to the love and respect best friends have for each other. Sandy and I rarely saw each other in the past 15 years, but we always talked on the phone.

When Sandy died this year, part of me died with her. Or maybe I let a part of me go with her. I know one day another best friend will come along, but for now the best part of being a best friend are the memories you make, whether it's in cyberspace or in 3D.


anniejoan May 10th, 2001 06:36 PM

I am so grateful to have found this cyberspace!!! I have found, in this WOW community an incredible bunch of women and kindred spirits. What I find most amazing of all is the things I reveal about myself, in chat, and on the boards that even some of the people who know me in 3D life don't know about me.

Why is that do you suppose? I think it's because in the presence of those who have proven trustworthy and caring,I feel less guarded. In my 3D life, I find that an awful lot of time is spent on the superficial stuff. But, here, how quickly one is able to shed that and get to the real stuff...the who am I really stuff.

I am so thankful to have found a community of women, who's sole purpose is to support each other, to encourage each other, to educate each other, to inspire each other, to entertain each other. Maybe that's what it is...this wonderful WOW community is founded by a woman, for women, about women. Where,in 3D life, does such a place exist?

I am still blown away with the amount of absolute warmth and acceptance I have been welcomed into this community. It is truly amazing. And because of that, it does my heart good.

Sadly, I think all women suffer some measure of low self-esteem issues in a world dominated by men. No wonder this place, this cyberspace is so empowering. I am woman hear me roar.

I love this community and am sooo grateful I found it. To the people who give strange looks, I will give you one opportunity to check it out and see for yourself. I did that with my sis and brother in law, who actually were very negative when I told them about it. Then, I had Easter here and showed them my beloved WomensSpace and I think they came away with a better understanding. And if they didn't, tough!! This is part of my life now, something I treasure and if you don't like it, fine. But I do ask that you accept my choices.

As yet, I have not met any roomies but I have talked to two on the phone. Some day, I will meet some roomies. Until then, on line,on the phone, emails and boards are just fine.

((((( roomies )))))))

/me pushing back podium for the next person. :D

julesingresham July 4th, 2001 04:59 PM

I'm so glad to have found this website and a great chatroom. Annie,I agree with you, it's great for women to have a place to go for guidance,support and to have fun. I didn't think I would ever share my life with a bunch of strangers online, but I have become to know you all like you're my closest friends. At first my family and friends were like "sure you can make friends online" but I have showed them you can. I enjoy being able to call you all my friends.

tupi July 10th, 2001 04:30 PM

I have met in person many of my online friends. People I work with are always saying things like "that's so coool!" and behind their hands saying, "I always knew she was strange." First time I met my online friends I had to call my parents to let them know I was okay...I was 46 years old!

I don't see much difference between pen pals and online friends, except we correspond more often. Naturally, we've all heard the horror stories about meeting online friends, but I think it takes common sense. Gosh, is it so hard to arrange a meeting in a public place and to not go alone?

Frankly, to the people who give me strange looks, I have to admit I'm glad they haven't tried to meet people online. They give the rest of us bad vibes!

Stophie July 11th, 2001 10:53 PM

Here's some of my "favorite" sayings from ppl I know about my online meetings/friendships:

(from the X in a conversation about one of my ex-b/fs): "Did you meet him at one of your parties?" (the old chat room I used to go to had "pub parties" in different cities 3-4 times a year...I attended 4 or 5 and have never dated or been "involved" with anyone I have met...which I have had to tell him and others on more than one occasion)

(from many ppl when I am talking about my out-of-town friends): "Is that one of your chatroom buddies?" or "Do you really know this person or is it one of those online people?"

(from Mom, who will never understand tho she does try): "I can't believe you still talk to these people. You don't know who they are." and lately since I now only go to WS: "How do you know they are really women?" LOL

My response to ALL of it is to roll my eyes...something I am infamous for doing lol and not bother with it. I don't have to explain myself or my friendships, whether they be online or not, to anyone.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS to ALL my wonderful newfound REAL friends in WS :) Luv ya!!

huee July 12th, 2001 12:50 AM

((((stophie))))

that's for showing me the secret path to ws. tell your mom that you work in midtown, so you don't ever know if the ppl you talk to in person are really women (lol). i get strange looks too, but i'm not sure if it's the online thing or just that ppl think i'm strange! oddly enough, i use the net to "talk" to many of my real life ppl. i have friends/family all over the country that i communicate w/online, b/c it's cheaper than phone calls. i really get strange looks when i tell ppl that i go online to talk to my g/f, since she lives in the same town i do. i haven't actually met any onliners that i didn't already know, don't plan on it either. i really like the anonymous aspect of being able to write anything on my mind & then getting feedback to just my thoughts & not my whole being. just think, a few yrs ago, i was super resistant to the net. now, i'm online almost everyday. giving strange looks to myself ...

Netchatter February 23rd, 2002 10:49 PM

It was wonderful reading all your messages in this thread
 
I really look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! It's quite amazing just how close we can get to online friends, isn't it. But then when you think about it, how many of your 3D friends do you actually talk to every day? Maybe one? Maybe none? But online friends seem to chat every single day. It's great!

Hallie


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