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-   -   Previously Married Lesbians (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=5)

QuietWOW January 12th, 2001 05:46 PM

Have you been married or are you still married? When did you discover same gender attractions? Was it hard to make that change?

LindaC April 3rd, 2002 07:10 AM

I have been married for 30 years. I have spent the last year thinking about coming out. I came out to my closest friends about a month ago & am seeing a therapist to help me through this. I find it very frightening to think what this will do to my family - 2 grown & married children. However, I also feel that I have been unhappy for 30 years, I'm 50 year old now and do not want to spend the rest of my life this way. My friends are supportive and for that I am grateful. Now I am trying to find ways to connect to others like me.

Angel_Wolf April 3rd, 2002 11:54 AM

hi
 
Just an idea,
Come and chat in the #Lesbianspace chat room. There are so many ppl who will empower you. No matter what anyone says, just be yourself. If they dont understand bless them. Because time and patience will help them in the long end as well as yourself. Be happy because that is what makes life more enjoyable.:)

RazberrieTart March 10th, 2003 12:14 PM

<font color="321321"> ((((( Ab ))))) I have been in your shoes (and they're really cute, where did you get them ?? LOL :) ) and I know what you are going through. My best advice would be to make sure that this is definitely you. I have known some who want to just be attracted to women b/c they either don't like their husband or dont find him as stimlating as before. And yes, I agree, I have a 4 yr old, I didn't care one way or another about sex with mine after she was born.
Have you tried to find any lesbian associations near you ? Find someone to talk to, even a counselor ? Your husband might not take the news well (mine still doesn't) but you will be much happier leading your life the way you know is right for you and comfortable for you, and so will your little one. Being raised in a happy home with 2 women is far better than a sad one with a woman and a man.
Go slow. Go slow. Go slow. I can't emphasize this enough. And trust me, you don't have to run right out and have sex with the first woman that glances your way just to "prove" whether you are or not. You will just know.
And if nothing else, keep posting, ty here or the LesbianSpace folder in WOW chatrooms, there's lots of ppl that can give you listening ears :)
Good luck to you and your family. It will be a time of change :)
Hugs,
Tartie
ps..... I left my hubs in April of 2000 and he's STILL not used to the idea LOL
</font>

MintyFemme2 May 12th, 2003 04:38 PM

Hiya Individual_ab I agree with Razzie going slow is the best thing to do. I hope to see you in Lesbianspace one day soon.. there are a lot of nice people there!

yofriend May 14th, 2003 07:42 PM

Married and a Lesbian
 
This is my first time posting. I have read some of the other postings and I can tell that everyone is really nice and understanding. Well I have been married to a wonderful man for 8 years now. He knew after the first year that we were married that I am a Lesbian! But I was not admitting it to myself! I guess it goes along with the culture of our world. He always told me to find myself a woman that would love me! Well last year I finally realized he was right and I admitted it to myself! I told my good friend and she told me it was about time that I finally admitted it to myself. Since I have done so, I have felt free to be the real me! Well I met this woman on line last October and we are together now. It is long distants right now, She is in kuwait and I have been counting the days till she returns. I have found that I have never been happier! I told my Boys the truth and they are dealing with it now, they sort of understand and are getting use to it! I have told some of my close friends that I have met online and they were a little taking back but they now know and they are still my closest friends. Yes my girlfriend knows and she can't wait to meet my husband! I have always been afraid of telling any of my lesbian friends about my life, but now it has been a little easier. My husband and I have been married but never had sex! He knew from the start that I did not marry him for sex, but that I loved him and he has been a great father to my two boys. I don't know if anyone will understand any of this but it feels good to be able to post this on this web site.

Thank you

MintyFemme2 May 17th, 2003 02:28 PM

yofriend, coming out to yourself is harder then coming out to friends and family. I am glad that you are getting the support you need though. Many people don't get the support. I was one of the few who did get support. My story is similar to yours but not the same. My family knew I was a lesbian before I admitted it to myself. I hope that your husband and kids will continue to be there for you once your girlfriend comes home. If your girlfriend is in the military (assuming that she is since she is in Kuwait)you will still have to deal with her not being able to "come out"; respecting her inability to "come out" will go a long way in your relationship.

yofriend May 17th, 2003 08:32 PM

Thank You
 
Thank you for your input. I did not know that there was anyone else out there that had the same sort of support. My girlfriend who is overseas is a lesbian and she knows my whole life. That is why we love each other. She is also very support of me! We have done a lot of talking before she left and we still talk only in letters and cards. We have talked and have told each other how we feel and she would never ask me to uproot my life for her and I would never ask her to uproot her life for me! We know each other and when she comes back we will have plenty of time to do more. I know it sounds really weird but it is not! I know it is hard for other lesbians to understand how I feel and there are some that I cannot tell! I have never lied to any of them and I would not. But if they don't ask then I don't tell! My girlfriend asked me the first time we talked if I was married and I told her the truth and she understood and accepted it! She told me that she loves me for being me and not hiding how I am. I feel for those that do not have a husband like mine! I have been told that they are rare to find (LOL).

Bonnie

MintyFemme2 May 19th, 2003 06:49 PM

You are correct the good men are very rare! I know from experience. My son's "dad" (not bio-father) is a real gem. We are not together and he still comes around to visit my son.. even takes him on weekends. My son's "dad" and his wife are very supportive of my relationship with my lady even if she doesn't understand. I hope to see you in chat one day soon. There alot of nice women who chat in both lesbianspace and womensspace.:D

Willendorf June 29th, 2003 09:51 PM

Gosh - it has been a very very long time since I was on these boards... I was married for 18 years, raised 5 kids, and just had my first grand baby. My marriage didn't end over this issue, but I deeply loved my best woman friend, and we had lots of plans for after I got out of my marriage - how we would raise our kids together, etc. But I couldn't get out fast enough, and things didn't materialize that way. Because of my fear of loosing my kids, and because I didn't meet anyone that I really was interested in, and because I live rural, I kept it all stuffed for about 10 years! I have met a couple of women recently who are very interesting to me <G>, and it has been like an explosion of bottled up emotional and sexual energy! I think that besides some of the natural physical/sexual desire, there is a very strong gravitation toward women for the depth of intimacy that I crave. At any rate, I finally am able to FEEL in ways I never did with a man. On ever level. Here I am at 47 feeling like a little kid who just discovered something wonderful - to the point that I am nearly jumping up and down clapping my hands. The fact that my youngest child is nearly 16 and about beyond her father's grasp as far as custody issues has enabled me to finally move forward with an amazing amount of freedom. At the point that I enter into a partnership, I do not want to hide it, I want to celebrate it. Which will be helped by the fact that locally, I have been pretty out even without benefit of a partner - but have worn rainbows and worked for gay rights publically - so now it is only a matter of finding and partnering with the right woman. cool...

http://www.wowwomen.com/goblins09/7.gif

LiamFan! June 30th, 2003 12:02 AM

{{{{Willendorf}}}}

Nice to see you again, and also good to see that you are happy. I'm glad you came back here!

Willendorf June 30th, 2003 10:20 AM

LiamFan!!!! How nice to see you! it is good to be back! I am still exploring all the boards and such - and just downloaded a new Pirch, so hope to be in chat soon!!!

Snappyt October 21st, 2003 12:39 PM

New
 
Hello all!!

I am new here, but wanted to introduce myself. I am 34 and been in a relationship with a woman for 15months. We are currently 4 hrs apart, which we both hate, but i will be moving to be with her and to better my life. I am still married but legally sep. I am a mother of 4 daughters, who really don't know about their mom. I have always liked women, even as a young person. But was brought up it was wrong, and to marry and man and have kids. I was never happy with that decision. I am finally happy int hat area, but my soon to be X doesn't like my sexual preference. Anyway, thats a little about me......

Snappyt October 21st, 2003 12:43 PM

Re: New
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Snappyt
Hello all!!

I am new here, but wanted to introduce myself. I am 34 and been in a relationship with a woman for 15months. We are currently 4 hrs apart, which we both hate, but i will be moving to be with her and to better my life. I am still married but legally sep. I am a mother of 4 daughters, who really don't know about their mom. I have always liked women, even as a young person. But was brought up it was wrong, and to marry and man and have kids. I was never happy with that decision. I am finally happy int hat area, but my soon to be X doesn't like my sexual preference. Anyway, thats a little about me......


MintyFemme2 October 21st, 2003 12:55 PM

Snappyt welcome to WOW! I am hoping you will find happiness once you move in with your partner. Your ex probably wouldn't like your partner any better if she was a male. I have a son and I am open about who I am with him.. to the level he can understand he just turned 6 today. I would encourage you to be open with your children as much as you can chances are they might suspect it already. Children are smarter then parents give them credit for. In my humble opinion if you want your children to be honest and open with you they will learn from your example.
Please feel free to visit our chatrooms. You can find directions when you click on Womens's Chats ;)


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