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-   -   Bullies In Our Childrens Schools (http://www.wowwomen.com/boards/showthread.php?t=514)

QueenOfSpammers November 8th, 2002 12:55 PM

Bullies In Our Childrens Schools
A place for concerned parents.

Hello everyone!

As most of you know my son Caleb has been a victum of bullying for 2 months now. My son would come home from school with soda dumped on him and bruises. The worst being cuts and gashes. I have made several complaints to the school and nothing had been done.
He came home from school 2 days ago crying the boys were choking him and kicking him that day. He has bruises on his neck and legs from this. I again went to the school and was told nothing could be done unless the boys were seen by a teacher doing this. And they would contact the parents of the two boys and let them know what has been going on.

That night I was contacted by one of the boy`s mother. She ws very concerned as I am about this. And wanting to know why the school had not acted to stop this. Then she told me of a letter her son wrote to the other little boy.
It stated (can`t put the exact words due to WOW forum rules)

" Hi partner (I will not tell you their names) we are going to kill Caleb, we are going to beat his @ss and bury him in the playground. we are going to fix that _itch."

At the bottom of the letter there was a picture. A picture of a child holding a gun to another childs head. And aboive that child was my sons name.

I was terrified!
The cops were called and reports were filed. We (the parents) were told to meet at the court house today.

We met there and discussed the matter for 3 hours. The one little boy had to turn the letter over to the police. To hear an 11 year old say, he drew the picture because your son said shh to him, is petty and uncalled for. Then one of the officers asked him what he intended to do. And the boy said kill Caleb!

QueenOfSpammers November 8th, 2002 01:15 PM

An END to this!
An END to this!

Both boys were arrested today for assault, intimadation, threaten-ing a fellow student. And because of the letter one of the boys is being charged with plotting a shooting (or causeing significant bodly harm) on a fellow student and or school. The teacher who let this happen was repromanded and suspended a week with no pay. The boys will also recieve 3 weeks suspension from the school, and a mandatory 5 days of councling.

It is still hard to digest the fact that a 10 and an 11 year old was thinking of doing this! And that the teacher was aware of this and yet it was still happending!

We are still waiting for our lawyer to call now to inform us whether or not he advises to file in civil court on both boys and the school.

We are still in the pending period with the school board as to whether or not a hearing is possible towards the school!

As a parent, I can only hope I have done the right thing in this matter.

And pray I have stopped something terrible from happening!

We are not sure nor are we promised this will stop. We may have prevented one thing, but could it lead to another?


Cinderellen November 8th, 2002 01:23 PM

Have you considered a restraining order? I recognize that it's just a piece of paper, but if you had one, it would force the school and the parents to keep those boys away from Caleb. Might be worth a shot.

LiamFan! November 8th, 2002 05:21 PM

I have to say, that post scared the hell out of me and made me feel sick to my stomach.

There is something very wrong in this country, in our schools. Bullying is rampant, and not taken seriously enough by teachers and administrators. I can't believe what your poor son had to go through and I sincerely hope it's over with the police involvement. I HOPE those kids just didn't realize how serious what they were doing was, but that's hard to imagine. It's just so sad to think of a child that young being that cruel.

Hugs to you and your son.

LiamFan! November 8th, 2002 05:22 PM

Ironically, someone sent me this article just today:

<A HREF="http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/3606.2001">Bullying a Serious Public Health Problem</A>

PumpkinPatchKid November 8th, 2002 05:38 PM

((((( Cinder ))))) That was taken care of at the court house today! Our lawyer advised us of that last night, and he made it his first priority this morning!

PumpkinPatchKid November 8th, 2002 06:00 PM

(((((((( Liam )))))))))))

I know how you are feeling. When this child`s mother called me last night and told me of this letter, my heart fell to the floor. I was scared, I was confused, I was pissed!

I was afraid to let my son walk to my car without me by his side this morning! I can`t imagine how his mother feels.

Most people do not know that there is a bully in EVERY classroom. Whether it be a public school or a private school.

You all the time hear from your child`s school about parent involvment with their child and their schooling. I am very into my sons schooling. His education is my #1 goal.

And to sit here and know that that I tried for 2 months to get this school to take action against these children. It would not have gone this far, if the school had done something when I spoke up 2 months ago, when my son went to the teacher the first time one of them hit him!

Teachers are hired to teach our children subjects. They are hired to teach our children values. They are hired to "protect" our children when we are not around.
Not sit there and let this happen!

I recieved a call from my lawyer a little bit ago. We have the go ahead to press neglagence charges on the school, after the courts are done with the two boys.

We can only hope that bullies and school teachers ect, will get the hint that this will NOT be tolerated NOW or EVER.

Neglagence is neglagence. There is no other word to describe it!


Cinderellen November 8th, 2002 06:01 PM

I wonder what all the violence that kids see on tv and playing video games has to do with the rise in bullying. I mean they can shoot anyone on a video game and if they hit reset, they come back. At certain ages if they are exposed to that I wonder if it does something to their mentality to make them immune to the seriousness of taking a life?

LiamFan! November 8th, 2002 08:21 PM

I think the studies have been done, and the connection not been made, though I'm sure you'll hear all kinds of anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

LiamFan! November 8th, 2002 08:23 PM

Hmmm....on second thought, you might find this interesting:

<A HREF="http://culturalpolicy.uchicago.edu/conf2001/papers/funk1.html">Connection between violent games and aggression?</a>

QueenOfSpammers November 8th, 2002 11:28 PM

Hiya Cinderellen and Liam!

In my opinion I do agree to that article, Liam! But at the same time I disagree.

I think that most of the violence does start at home, but not always with video games!

Alot of children see one child hit another child, and they in return do the same thing.

As stated in the first site you posted Liam, parents do need to be aware of their childs doing. Sit and talk with them, enforce it is ok to come too them for any reason! Some parents send there children to school to get raised.
And unfortunatly I found out one of the children involved here father is in prisn serving 20 years for drug distrabution. (Selling drugs)

I don`t let my son play video games period! Even tho Super Mario was rated "kid safe" it still has some violence in it. Like Mario shooting Weegie ect...
I do not let my son watch violent movies. Just for the fact they ARE violent!

I wonder if some bullies act out because of the way they are treated at home?

And this may sound akward to most.

But when the officers put the cuffs on the one little boy who drew the picture, he was crying and trembaling severe. I just wanted to grab him.. I wanted to hug him and accept his apology!
But at the same time I was angry with him for putting my child through this! You see what I am saying?

I am the type of person who hates to see a child cry, no matter what he/she has done! And too see him cry, it made me cry more, because I did want to hug him. That is probably soemthing he has not had in some time!

So yes, I say it does come from home. And to an extent from video games!


Cinderellen November 9th, 2002 01:00 AM

Oh yes, that type of behavior does come from home environment as well as other things too. I just was startled by the lack of respect for human life. Hopefully this made a positive impact on the boys and they'll leave Caleb alone.

PumpkinPatchKid November 9th, 2002 04:26 PM

I think the oldest boy was more affected by the meeting. It made him realize how much what he has done has affected Caleb and the threats were illegal! He has remorse. He was sorry. You can tell by the actions of people who aer sorry and ones who are not sorry. I think Caleb and him will become friends when all this is over and done. As fr the other boy, well him and his mom was like oh well. That made me feel as if she did not care what her son does, I just hope that during the hearings she will realize the extent of the damages her son has done.

We are hopening that this will also teach these boys and others a lesson in life Cin, we hope they will know that when you do something wrong there are always going to be punishment in the end.

Caleb says thank you for the support and he sends hugs!!

(((((( Everyone ))))))))

Cinderellen October 28th, 2003 01:11 PM

We're dealing with a bully situation with our 5th grade boy. It started in 4th grade and has carried over into 5th grade. The same boys and some new ones. The teachers this year have been much better about dealing with bully situations than his teacher last year, who would say she didn't want to hear about it, and take care of your problems yourselves. BUT, I'm beginning to wonder what it is about my son that attracts bullies to him. He's a well behaved, intelligent, quiet child but from what I've been led to understand, he won't stand up for himself or tell a teacher if someone hits him. I've talked to him about letting an adult know when he's been punched or kicked, but he's so resistant to it. I just don't know how to get through to him that it's OK to tell when someone is hurting you.

Any thoughts?

LiamFan! October 28th, 2003 03:35 PM


You've answered your own question, I think:

"He's a well behaved, intelligent, quiet child but from what I've been led to understand, he won't stand up for himself or tell a teacher if someone hits him."

Sadly, those are the very children singled out by bullies.

There is a good book that I may have recommended up above in this discussion...I'll come back with some titles and/or suggestions, and feel free to email me as well. This is a subject close to my heart...there is not enough done in the schools to prevent bullying.

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