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Forum: Reading & Writing October 31st, 2004, 10:09 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 21,784
Posted By brede
Beautiful. Your minimal use of words were...

Beautiful. Your minimal use of words were obviously carefully selected. The overall effect on me was a deep sigh of love so beautifully described.
Forum: Reading & Writing March 19th, 2004, 02:52 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 21,784
Posted By brede
I like your changes, they increase the sense of...

I like your changes, they increase the sense of emotion and urgency.

How about "orbit" instead of "circle"? It would refer to the title and continue the space metaphor.

I haven't written anything...
Forum: Reading & Writing March 18th, 2004, 03:57 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 21,784
Posted By brede
I grew up in Cocoa Beach, Florida, right next to...

I grew up in Cocoa Beach, Florida, right next to the Cape. What is your involvement with space and aviation?
Forum: Reading & Writing March 17th, 2004, 04:27 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 21,784
Posted By brede
I see what you mean about the first part. And I...

I see what you mean about the first part. And I do agree with your "attractive" reference. I will think about all the "space and rocket" words that I have used myself in poetry to portray what you...
Forum: Reading & Writing March 16th, 2004, 04:21 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 21,784
Posted By brede
How about a simple one word change? Instead of...

How about a simple one word change? Instead of "out of your attractive field" see what you think about "from your magnetic field"? It sounds to me like it maintains the same rhythm. However,...
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