Thread: Your Own Poetry
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Old March 19th, 2004, 01:52 PM   #51
my new motorcycle
brede's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 574
I like your changes, they increase the sense of emotion and urgency.

How about "orbit" instead of "circle"? It would refer to the title and continue the space metaphor.

I haven't written anything for so long. I ought to just post my last attempt. I've never shared my poetry before. I know, what good does it do to create if you don't share!!?
I wanted to be a pirate, but I couldn't grow a beard and rum makes me giggle.
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