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Old March 25th, 2010, 07:50 AM   #1
Miss Understood
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6
long term effects of abuse

i have no idea how to put it into text but i will give it a shot
i have been abused sexually all my life, since i was 3 up to the point where i left the house at 16
somehow i seemed to be programmed incorrectly because my next relationship was just as abusive, and not only sexually
it took me two and a half years just to leave him because i actually made up excuses for the bruises and broken arms, legs, joints, etc. i had already accepted the fact that that was how it was supposed to happen... sadly enough...
when he shot me, i left... finally...
but the relationship after that one was of a same kind, and my life had changed into one big dip...
it took me til the age of 31 to find my current partner and he has finally taken off my blindfold to the world...
im actually happy and feel loved... but because of my programming in the past i still have trouble enjoying sweet gestures and loving intercourse...
i was wondering if anyone else has had/has this problem and how do you deal with it... my current partner would never hurt me intentionally and still sexually i am so messed up in my head that i can hardly enjoy the sweet tender love making... i feel pretty frustrated about that, but also realize that well, i dont KNOW any better... he is the sweetest about it but still i would love to hear how you change this way of thought... hope someone has a suggestion...
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