Thread: Is sex.....?
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Old April 11th, 2010, 07:43 AM   #8
Tammy's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by unknown-ml View Post
to all those that did not reply i want to thank you to for i believe that you have agreed with me. thank you all very much.
It wouldn't be too quick to assume that silence equals agreement. For those who read but didn't respond, it may be that a significant amount of pain simply isn't part of their memory of the first time they had sex as a part of a loving relationship.

For others, pain may be associated with sex that occurred as a result of a rape or while in an abusive relationship, which isn't what you were asking about and is something a lot of women are reluctant to discuss with someone who is new to the board.

And, you certainly can't overlook the subset of people who find pain erotic and enjoy pain during sex to the point of going out of their way to create the combination. But again, that's not something people normally jump in and start discussing with a perfect stranger.

From reading your posts, I think it's important to consider whether or not the thing you're so afraid of really exists, or if it's a monster created in your mind. I wonder about your references to "all that pain" associated with sex. As Irish pointed out, sex in general should not be painful and if it is, you should speak with your GYN about that because there are certain medical problems that can result in painful intercourse.

Losing your virginity doesn't normally cause excruciating pain and the discomfort it can cause is transient and brief - although it's important to realize that doesn't have to be a painful at all. Exploring your own body and educating yourself about the specific physical issues involved (and things you can do to address them) can go along way toward making sure you're physically, mentally, and emotionally comfortable if/when you decide it's time to have a physical relationship. Beyond that, communicating clearly with your partner is key and will take care of just about everything else.

You're not a bystander when it comes to sex. You're an equal participant and you get to control how and when things happen to your body. If you take an active role in your own sexual well-being, then you're more likely to have fulfilling and enjoyable experiences. And, you don't have to violate any religious convictions to do so.
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