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Old February 11th, 2011, 08:19 PM   #1
moniker
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 44
So I Want To Be A Lesbian

I'm not gay, I'm not and I don't think I ever could be...but I really want to be. Let me explain.

I find women to be sexual, deep and spiritually/mentally stimulating in a way that I can't find with a man. I consider myself a powerful woman, a dominant, assertive modern woman also in touch with woman's place in nature as a lover and nurturer (not in the "housewife" way but in the "powerful healer" way). Even when I meet a man who's spiritual, I don't feel that connection.

I admire women's bodies, I see them and feel, "This woman is so sexy, wow, she is sexy." I have no problem saying it. I have no problem imagining her in sexy ways...but as soon as I imagine myself with that woman in a sexy way, all desire just stops. I am so averse to the idea of me becoming intimate with a woman, I can't even explain it.

I would love to spend my life with a woman, I would. To raise a child or children with a woman, to share everything. To love woman, to care for a woman, to dominate over a woman (I have no idea why I like the idea of dominating...but only in a sexual way, not in the relationship overall), but...the idea of sexually being with a woman? I can't think of it. I can see her longing, supple lips...but can't begin to imagine kissing them without being completely turned off.

I don't understand what this feeling is. I really don't. I have no idea why I feel this way. I have only been in relationships with men and don't feel "weird" in a relationship with a man...but do feel that there's a spiritual component that's missing that I feel I could get with a woman.

Have any of you heard of this type of thing? What does it mean?
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