Thread: Celibacy
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Old April 9th, 2011, 06:26 AM   #34
Dhanfel
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2
Unhappy

Jane 20/20...Thank you for your response and support...I have since had intercourse. It was with great regret tho. However i have decided that i can no longer have sex with other persons at all for this time...I have also noticed that for some reason the sex does not bring to me the same desire and emotion to which it did before. Now its only a motion. I believe this has occurred because of the desire that i have of being in a fully committed and lasting relationship. Although i have struggled to find the right person and have yet to succeed, I know that my decision to go back to celibacy and to concentrate on my life, school, getting to be the best "me" there is will in some way will prepare me for the future personal relationships.
I have stopped writing and posting publicly. I now only write for myself to give my spirit and my soul its release. It feels so great to be celibate and not worry about sex and its consequences. One of the things that most bother me is STD's and i agree with you completely when you say that our society no longer cares. Sex is Sex and will only be sex to this seemingly developing society. I see teenagers having sex and i wonder whether they understand what it really means. i learnt about sex the hard way when at the age of 14 i was raped. Although my natural psyche was to block it out, all of the memories of the event resurfaced full force about 18 months ago. Since then my life has changed drastically. I am left to deal with the memories of the ordeal along with the pain, shame and other negativities such an act created. All in my 30's. Sometimes i find myself crying for no apparent reason and i Thank God that the vow to be celibate helps me conquer. If i was not celibate i would have chosen to drown my pain in the arms of someone and with that succumb to the temptation of the sin. So for now i am learning to live with my pain and move forward one day at a time...
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