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Old July 21st, 2011, 10:33 PM   #32
ashtangagirl
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I'm new to this forum and found it when I was searching the Internet this evening. Just as the title states in this thread...I'm married, but in love with someone else.

I've been married to my husband for 5 years, but we've been together for 9 years. I met him after my freshman year in college and we stayed together and got married after I graduated. He is a wonderful man and loves me very much. He was raised Catholic (as was I) and is very moral and religious. He is respectful, kind, and would do anything for me. I am a horrible person for feeling the way I feel and doing what I am doing to him.

In February, I met someone else - a younger man. He is 10 years younger than me, and I am falling in love with him. I don't understand any of this. I love my husband, and he treats me so well...but there is something about this other man. We kissed for the first time in April and recently began sleeping together. It's so hard to get time away to see each other but when we do, I am happy every second we are together. He makes me laugh, and feel young and beautiful.

Apart from the infidelity and the fact that I am being an awful, dishonest person in my marriage, I don't think my "boyfriend" is falling in love with me. He's young enough that he is still figuring out who he is and what he wants, and though I know he likes me very much I'm pretty sure this is just a fling for him...which is all it really should ever be for me, too.

I don't expect anyone to be able to tell me something that will magically fix all of this, but I just feel like I needed to tell someone. I have no one in my life that I can discuss this issue with - everyone absolutely loves my husband and would be so upset with me. Also, I have many friends that have been cheated on, and do not respect those who cheat.

I just feel like since I got married, I changed so much and began to grow apart from my husband. We have separate hobbies and interests and don't really have anything that we do together. When I've brought this up to him, he doesn't see it as a problem. I feel like we are growing apart every single day, and being wrapped up in this affair is making it worse. I've tried but I can't seem to let the affair go...I am constantly checking my phone and Facebook for texts and messages from my "boyfriend" and will turn the world upside down if it means that I can even spend an hour with him.

My "boyfriend" is away for an overnight trip so all I can do is sit here and think about him...so thanks for listening! I sound so pathetic!
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