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Old August 26th, 2011, 10:58 AM   #48
smith1981
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Want to get my happy back

Hi ladies! I googled this topic and found this forum. Thanks to everyone that shared their stories and also to those that offered words of encouragement and advice. I am 31, married for 1 year together for 8. I have an 11 yr old, no kids together. He’s jealous and insecure. We don’t have any friends. He doesn’t really care to have people over and rarely goes around my family. A month after we were engaged I caught him using drugs. I didn’t cancel the wedding because his family are public figures, might as well be celebs in our city, and I didn’t want to bring any embarrassment on them. My life has been hell since. He’s in rehab now for 25 days. In and out of 10 or so rehabs in 2 years – the longest stint of sobriety was about 45 days. He says he’s committed this time, but now I’m ready to leave because I have fallen in love with someone else. The other guy I met on online when we both were 15. We kept in touch through the years, sometimes losing contact for as much as 3 years, but we always are drawn back to one another despite our email addresses and numbers changing. Our friendship has always been one of the purest friendships I have. We’re open and honest with one another, we can talk and laugh about anything. I hadn’t talked to him since 2008, until Feb when he contacted my sister on FB. Since then I have shared with him the “drama” of my life. He’s always positive and says to pray and leave it up to God – never speaking badly of my husband and never advising me to leave/stay. By July things had gotten bad with my husband and I left, determined that it would be for good that time. I stayed with my dad for a week and during that time I emailed my friend & then began talking to him on the phone. We talked on the phone for hours. Two days later he told me that he wanted to tell me something but didn’t want to be disrespectful to my marriage. After I finally got it out of him. He told me that he was “in love” with me and had been for years. He admitted that he had kept every letter, card, and picture that I sent him when we were teens. Honestly, I had always felt the same way about him, but the fact that we had never met because we live 20 hrs away had always made me ignore the feelings. We haven’t been able to stop talking since. Two weeks later my husband went into rehab because he said he could feel that he was losing me and wanted me back. A week after that a a trip with some relatives put me within a 2 hr drive from my friend. So we decided to finally meet. He was the exact same in person! The chemistry was there immediately. We spent an evening together just talking and enjoying being in the presence of one another. We eventually made out, no sex! It has now been a month since that encounter and we haven’t stopped talking. We talk and text all day long. I have fallen in love and he has told me that he only wants the best for me, but that if it doesn’t work out with my husband he would like to be with me, but would only want to be with me after I take time for myself to heal. He has said repeatedly that he will wait for me and has confessed his love for me repeatedly. Everything in me wants to be with him – he makes my spirit happy. He is willing to relocate to my state so that my daughter will not have to leave life as she knows it. My husband is in rehab, clueless, as to what is going on with me. I’m afraid to tell him. My husband has been abusive across the board and I’m just tired of being unhappy. Life is too short. I’m just scared that I am going to make the wrong choice. Advice ladies?!?!
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