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Old November 10th, 2011, 12:25 PM   #78
emotionallyconfused
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In a similar position

Hi! I am new here and found this site from google. I am in a hot mess right now. I have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids. My husband and I have gone through a rough patch the last 3 years where he ended up cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend (whom he also has kids with). During that time I was unemployed and things were rough financially. We ended up talking and decided to work on our marriage through counseling (which didn't work b/c he wouldn't engage). So for the last 3 years- I have worked on forgiving him for the affair and putting it out of my mind. Also through these 3 years- I have been the sole provider for the kids. He never would help with them at all and never attempted to be a "true Dad" to them. Our relationship has seemed to become a situation where I am the Mother to everyone in our family- including him. When we fight- he figures that I will be mad for awhile but will eventually get over it. It is a never ending cycle.

Anyway- this summer I suddenly had feelings for a guy we have been friends with for years. I have no idea where it came from. He is single and does not have any kids. I tried to push the feelings aside but we both realized that we both were feeling the same way. It was a HUGE shock to us both. Well- after months of texting and calling- we ended up having an affair. We have both fallen hard for each other but now I don't know what to do.
I do love my husband but honestly- in more of a room mother/ roommate sort of way. I am terrified about the effects on the kids if we divorce. I am also especially worried about what would happen to my husband because I do not think that he can take care of himself emotionally or financially since I have been doing it for so long. That part breaks my heart. I am so torn! And I do know that the grass is always greener and that you should never leave one relationship for another. I just don't know what to do. I am sorry for such a long post but it has been a bit theraputic to get it off my chest as I can't talk to any of my friends about this.
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