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Old February 15th, 2012, 06:20 PM   #100
Plainjane
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1
I too have been with my husband for 13 years. He is my best friend and I love him very much . I grew up believing that once in love you would never feel for anyone else. This isn't the case however. 2 years ago I was posted into a new job(in the military) and found myself attracted to my line manager. I ignored my growing feelings but realised that he was flirting with me, only very subtly to not arouse others suspicions I suppose. At the time, my husband had started a new job where he was very much occupied with studying and shift work. Because of this I was beginning to feel somewhat invisible to him. I guess this is why the flirting had such an effect on me. There was never any real conversation, just plenty of smiles and he would watch me wherever I went. Needless to say, my self esteem went through the roof.
A few months later this behaviour stopped and it was if I never existed. I can't say what prompted it; perhaps a reality check on his part. Anyway, a year ago we all went on detachment where there was plenty of post work socialising. It gave me a chance to see him for his true self. He behaves in the way that any other hot blooded single would if you get my drift, but he still kept me at a distance. I spent the entire month watching him hook up with other girls, and berating myself for how ridiculous I was being. My feelings just grew stronger though. The night before we left, I couldn't take any more of the guilt that I felt and decided to tell him how I felt. The rejection was very hard to take and to make matters worse I felt like I had cheated on my husband. I had no idea what I was expecting from him. I don't even know why I told him, I had no intention on cheating. I just neede to get it off my chest.
A couple of days after I got home, my husband confronted me. I told him everything and he was devastated. Eventually, after much talking we decided to give it another go. He has been absolutely wonderful since then. I truly cannot fault him for his attentiveness and love. Problem is, I am due to go away with work for another month and I am not over this other man. I don't trust myself anymore after last time. I've tried everything to get him out of my heart but nothing has worked. Thankfully, I am leaving on return from det. Maybe distance will help, in time.
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