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Old April 10th, 2012, 12:31 AM   #1
kimie1964
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4
Still struggling

On Oct 11, 2010 I lost my husband of 26 years to cancer. When he got sick I had to put him in a nursing home. I could not take care of him and keep working too and I was our only income. I will forever feel guilty for that, I was not there when he took his last breath.

When he left me everyone told me how strong I was and how well I was dealing with this. I only took a week off of work. That was all the time I had available to take. And everyone went on about how I was moving on so well.

If they only knew. It has been a year and a half and I am falling apart. I feel like a yoyo, laughing one minute, crying the next. Up and down all day long. I don't sleep, I don't eat, I just cry and want to disappear. I cannot seem to connect with other people anymore and I am pretty sure it is because I am such a downer. I feel like I am on the outside looking in at life. Is this all that is left for me?

Please tell me there is more out there.
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