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Old April 18th, 2012, 08:29 PM   #1
Deepthi
Trying to discover myself
 
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 18
Question How can I crosscheck myself

Dear Friends, am Deepthi and am new to this site. I need a suggestion or help from all of you.

Firstly, i would tell you what exactly is that am facing ----

Actually, Am going through a confused state whether am a lesbian or not. I have gone through many online quizzes and finally ended up with a result mostly as "bi-sexual".

But, what exactly i feel deep down my heart is that I need a partner with whom I can share everything, my past, my future and I don't mind if its a girl or a boy as long as I am comfortable and happy, and in love with them. Coming to the part "making love", I feel as long as you are in love with your partner, this won't be tough if its a guy or a girl.

And now the exact problem is - I am currently married and I don't feel connected to him. Its an arranged marriage and though He is good, he doesn't smoke or drink, he's got a really good job etc. etc. am not able to connect emotionally with him. I don't feel like sharing anything with him and we just behave like 2 roommates in a hostel room. He is a very introvert kind of person and he doesn't have any friends and was very possessive and I had problems with his parents (they asked to change my lifestyle and reduce speaking to friends etc - I hope you can understand what a typical Indian house wife goes through) which is not getting into my system and am not able to digest.

I had my friends in girls, but never had any girl friend or such thing, I feel drawn to a girl and I find them attractive, and I get impressed by their personality, and I feel I can connect to them easily. Even I find guys attractive. I even imagine having a intimate relationship with a girl and am happy with the thought and the same way, I feel comfortable thinking about a boy.

So, Please tell me - Is it because of my husband's behavior - Am feeling that I like girls and is it because I am a lesbian am feeling it.

I am very confused and please help me and suggest me how to get to a conclusion.

One small example about my psychological condition right now :

1. When I watch the movie " I can't think straight " - I feel I am lesbian and
2. When I watch some other straight movie like "pretty woman", I feel I like boys.

This is what exactly is happening to me... and because of this... am not able to concentrate on my job/work also.

Please help me to come out of this.

Thank you all in advance.

- and sorry for such a confused post...

Last edited by Deepthi; April 18th, 2012 at 08:38 PM. Reason: a little more to add
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