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Old April 19th, 2012, 02:15 PM   #116
loveusomuch
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
Im 29 years and married for 8 years and have a daughter who is 5 and half years old. Im in exactly the same situation.Mine was a typical arranged marriage done by our parents(which is very normal in India).I was married to my husband and things were just going fine and were together as a family, though i never had any special love for my husband. He is a person who is very workaholic and reserved kind of.I was working in a company for 7 years and before one year a guy joined my company and we were really good friends. we both had some feeling for each other which we never revealed. But 6 months back i had left the job and joined a new company, that is when we started talking and we came to know that we loved each other.though at home, i was with my family, i was always thinking of him. our relationship grew to such a level that we had sex with each other and whenever possible we used to meet, though we both knew that it is not possible to have a life together. Last month he had to go back to his home town for vacation and when we met last before vacation, he had mentioned that his parents are looking forward to get him married. Though it was so much painful, we both decided that we will end our relation there and will never bother each other. he went on vacation and each day was so painful for me that i was not able to concentrate on anything, everyday would start thinking of him and end counting the number of days till he will be back. As expected his parents had found a girl for him and they had his engagement done. Now he is back to town but engaged to that girl. Im not able to control my feelings towards him. i feel like i have lost everything in life. We both spoke to each other and is in such a bad condition that we donot know what to do.He said that if he will be talking and meeting me again, he will never ever be able to be loyal to that girl or keep her happy.finally we decided that we will never call,speak or see each other, which may give a good life for both of us. Its now few days that im trying to get away from his thoughts, but it is just getting impossible for me to survive.every moment im thinking of him, i donno what is his condition now. Maybe he is happy with his fiancee and is speaking to her and maybe he must have forgotten about me. but i feel so much shattered and depressed in my life. I cannot share my feelings with anyone and getting wierd things in mind. Im even praying to god now to kill me somehow or else take my husband away from me so that i can get him back. Im not able to think or bear the truth that he is going to be someone else's life.
please help me and let me know what i can do to get him back. Maybe he is also having the same feeling, but he is trying to adjust to the new life as per his parents wish. why is life like this?
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