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Old October 14th, 2012, 04:51 PM   #130
englishroses
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1
Thank goodness for this website! I am happily married for just over 10 years with three beautiful children, but in love with a man that is also married, for 11 years, with three children. We met 12 years ago and started seeing each other when my boyfriend (now husband) and I broke up for awhile. He became a very dear friend to me during the time we were seeing each other and we became inseparable. He told me that his ex-girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant, but he loved me and wanted us to be together. As a result of that news, I decided to go back to my then boyfriend (now husband) and told him to marry her because of their child. We never stopped loving each other even though he got married later that year and I did the next year. It has been complete agony to say the least. It hurts so much that we can both hardly stand it. We have stayed in contact for the past 11 years and kissed for the first time since we both got married two years ago. We both love our spouses, but are truly in love with each other. I have never experienced this kind of pain in my life. I write poetry and wrote a poem about this 11 years ago because I knew we would end up like this. Shortly after I got engaged, we met and I cried uncontrollably because of the hurt that was sure to come the years ahead. Here we are 11 years later and our love has not withered, but grown. He is a man that I would do anything for, without any question, had he been my husband. He was there for me when my husband did things that really hurt me while we were dating and even since we've been married. There are no words to describe loving someone that you cannot be with. His wife cheated on him 8 years ago, but he forgave her and stayed with her for their children. I saw him last night for the first time in almost a year (we live in two different states - THANK GOD) and all I could do was cry when we talked. We both agreed that it hurts to live with someone while your heart is with someone else. The only thing I can say is that I am thankful that I am not alone because the pain associated with love is overwhelming. My best friend knows and she tries to comfort me as much as possible, but I am considering getting a therapist to help me work through my feelings and pain. I wouldn't wish this on anyone! Be encouraged all...
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