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Old November 19th, 2013, 07:54 AM   #1
WDianneS
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 13
I think I am broken.

I am 64 and retired a year and a half ago.

I grew up in a terribly abusive and unsupportive home, an environment that almost killed me many times before I finally escaped in my early 20s. Things seemed fine for many years but I didn't know I was suffering from PTSD until about 5 years ago and sought professional help in dealing with it.

Through my life I haven't had much luck with relationships. My first marriage was short and disastrous, my second was 13 years and seemed much better until I realized I had manipulated for YEARS - that was the end of that. I did find love briefly but my love died of a brain tumour after only a couple of years and before we figured out how our relationship was to fit together. Everybody I ever cared about used me and manipulated me (except for the one who died) and eventually betrayed me.

Ever since childhood I have had bad dreams, dreams full of conflict, pain, and troubles, and have never had good dreams, pleasant dreams. In the past year, the bad dreams have become worse. It is a "good" morning when I wake up with no memory of bad dreams.

I don't know if it is of any use to go to a therapist or if it is a waste of money. I don't know if I can be "fixed" or if it is just the result of a rotten life. It would be nice to have peace in my senior years but .......

Has anyone else had bad dreams in the long-term? If you did and you don't have them any more, what made the difference?

Thanks girls!
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