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Old February 22nd, 2009, 03:28 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 6
i'm married and love someone else

I've been married for 7 years and have a small child. We moved last year and as a result I found a new job close to home and quit my old one. But it was when I quit my old job that I realized I was in love with my boss. And still am. He told me he loved me when I quit and between the time I gave notice and left there was a lot of sexual tension between us. He would come out of his office and give me a file and cover my hand with his, come up behind me while I was at the copier and rub my back, etc. When I left, we held each other and cried and he had his hand under my blazer while he was stroking my back. If I had gone for it, I'm sure we would have had a sexual encounter there.

I left in July, told him I loved him in October. He told me he didn't know I felt that way and is pretending to be surprised. Between the time I quit and actually left we had each said I love you several times. Even after I left, I would email him and tell him I am always thinking of him. I even mailed him a card saying he is my first thought in the AM, my last thought in the PM and that I love him and it will never change. He can't be as dense as to not have known how I feel.

Despite the fact that I'm still married and he has a girlfriend, we still keep in touch via email. I'm having a very hard time letting go of this. I've known him a long time, and I think I always loved him but when we met he was married(she died shortly before I was married), then I was married and so I think I kept the feeling buried. Life is too short when you love someone to let it go, and though its not the ideal situation to have an affair, that's exactly what I want to do. I don't envision leaving my husband and spending my life with him, but I think "Nester" and I should make each other happy when we can.

I invited him to have dinner with me and said I would not emote, just talk about work, baseball, politics, etc. He hasn't responded either way yet, which makes me believe he is thinking about it. But I won't be surprised if he doesn't respond at all. He is a very straight laced, ethical person and he says he wants the best for me and my husband and child. I think he is trying to protect me and himself. It would be easier to let this go if I wasn't so sure he felt something.

I need to either have this affair and let it run its course or forget about it completely and at least function in my marriange, which so far I have managed to do.

Is anyone else out there in this situation?
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