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Old January 25th, 2011, 02:49 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5
Unhappy A Woman's Worth-Do men understand?

Do men understand a what a woman is really worth? I'm beginning to think that they don't. I've been married for 9 yrs, we been together 15yrs. In the beginning (first 3-4yrs), everything was good in every sense of the way. Things changed shortly after that...matter of fact, it was after I said "I do" that I began to see things differently. We have four children who are, now, 15,13,10,7 that love both of us to pieces.

I went through some things that I wouldn't wish on any woman...I considered myself to be a strong woman and told myself it will pass. It started with him not trusting me, thinking I was cheating and verbally abusing me, which all started one morning he woke up from a dream he had. He has never hit me, don't think he ever will (if he knows what's best). The thing about it is, is I don't never go anywhere without him, always in the house, never have company and barely talk on the phone, and I'm still supposed to be cheating.. He doesn't work so it's not like someone was coming over while he was gone. It got so bad that he was saying I had different men, one for different days of the week, that come over and follow me around the house while I bend over and show them something. We have moved into three different houses since the time we got married. Each time I thought things was going to change, but they never did.

Things are calmer now that we've been in church for six years. You would think that would help the situation, which it did a little, but not like I feel it should have. He is the type that if he don't get his way or if something don't go his way, nobody is "happy" It;s like I know when he is bout to get in his moods. When he get started at night time, arguing(with his self, cause I don't join), he usually won't shut up until the next morning, which is so annoying. I put on my headphones after the first couple of minutes so that I don't hear the horrible things he is saying, so he basically be entertaining hiself. I figure if I don't hear it, I won't be as mad as I would if I did hear it. I've recorded him and tried playing it back to him so he could hear how foolish he sounded, but that didn't work. My kids have been woken up plenty of nights from him pacing the floors talking about their mother.

When the next day come, he acts as if nothing ever happened and he never apologize, which bothers me. I still be in my mood and don't want to be bothered with him after he gets like that so I walk around the house like I don't know him (which is wrong). It's not that I don't want to, but he has hurt me so much. I finally give in and talk to him. My friends once told me that he might have a chemical inbalance, which might be so...I live with him, I used to think (and still do) he was a little crazy. Another important factor is, his dad did and still do till this day, his mother the same way and they are still together, so he thinks that it will be the same here, but I'm not his mother, I don't know how much more I can take of him. I used to love him to DEATH, now it's like I just got feelings for him.

To make a long story short, I don't want my kids growing up thinking that it's alright to mistreat woman or take such treatment from men in their relationship. I've plotted to leave him on many occasions, but I haven't followed through with it yet. I feel that my children need him, but should I suffer in the process? He is a good father, but I think he can still be their father without us being together. It is more to this story, I just don't want to go on and on...what do you think I should do? We've tried the counseling thing, that didn't work, he always got mad cause they were "always on my side."

Psss....tomorrow is our anniversary and just the night before he called me "fat azz" during one of his tantrums...he never called me that...and the thing about it 198 pds...i don't consider myself to be overweight, but I have been exercising to lose weight cause I'm unhappy with my weight. So when tomorrow comes, I'm not going to be too thrilled with him.
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