Thread: Depression
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Old November 15th, 2001, 09:45 AM   #63
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Smile Hi

I have not been back here to wow in avery long time. I use to be very active with many good friends. So much has gone on in my life and I am at a very low point in my life when I am use to being very positive! I lost my mother 4 months ago to cancer! She was my best friend. She was only 63. I had to be the care giver of her pain and now I feel like I did something wrong. Yes I know I was helping her not feel the pain of passing away- BUT it hurts so bad, knowing that I was the one who had to give her the pain meds to help her, knowing she was leaving me and my daughter and my dad and so many loved ones. I have been so depressed about all this and pretend to the world I'm okay. I wish I could tell the people that are close to me that I am falling apart,but they would say I'm just having a bad day and snap out of it. I'm the one that is always ther for them, so they do not know how to have me need them! I'm the STRONG one, the ROCK. But I have never felt so weak and alone in my life. Yes I have been the strong one because I have had to my whole life on the outside but inside I don't think I really am- but I guess i must be because all I know is when someone needs a lift in life they call on me. Well I don't want to keep this to long so if anyone wants to talk just say hey, I'm RED-Talk to you soon !!!!!
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