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Old February 17th, 2004, 06:22 PM   #1
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Smile New to Board!

Hi everyone I just wanted to introduce myself and tell u a little bit about my situation. I have been married to an abusive husband for almost 11 years. I have tried a few time to leave but here I still sit. Somewhere along the way I lost the person that I used to be and Im having a hard time finding that person. I know that I dont deserve the way he treats me so why the hell am I still here? Thats the question that I cant seem to answer. I dont have many people to talk to about this cause my mom she just gets upset so I dont bother saying anything to her, my sister she has problems of her own cant see adding more to it. I havent worked in a couple years so Im about to change that I went and got some applications so I can atleast start getting some money together if that time comes for me to actually walk and never look back.
Anyways thats where Im at now I would love to talk to anyone that will listen to me I need somewhere that I can come without being judged for my stupidity of staying in an abusive sitution.
Thanx so much for listening to me.
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Old February 18th, 2004, 11:33 AM   #2
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Wink Hi and Welcome! :)

Hi and Welcome! Yes this would be a place to come and chat! Plus a place to vent when needed. As far as being stupid, when haven't one of us done exactly that. Each of us have done it one time or another so who are we to judge? No worries! I'd just worry about your safety and welfare. There have been many of us who have been where you are at now. We did eventually leave like you will one day. In the meantime, you are doing the right thing getting ready by getting a job. Now just a thought, there are women's shelters for you. There is no shame for you to go there. At least you'd be safer than where you are at now. Plus in time, you will become able to stand on your own feet. I just hope its' before anything terrible happens to you is my wish. Please come often and chat. We do have chats so if you aren't busy come on in. We have shoulders to lay a weary head on, hearts big enough to share love, and hands to help each other get up. So come on out and join us. Check the message boards and then the women's chat schedule. Remember you are welcomed here.
Hope you have a great day!
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Old February 18th, 2004, 11:44 AM   #3
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Ample online resources, data, suggestions and help.
There are 2 means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
-- A.Schweitzer
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Old March 20th, 2004, 02:06 AM   #4
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This is my first time posting here. I was reading through several messages and looks like a wonderful place to post messages and get feedback and support.
(((FaithNu35))) reading your post I can really relate to you. I have recently gotten myself out of a 15 year abusive marriage.It has not been long only 2 weeks tomorrow actually. I feel so good. I haven't been yelled at, had hurtful things said to me, called names or many other numerous things. I am so looking forward to becoming myself again and enjoying life and not constantly worrying every day after work oh great what's it gonna be tonight.
Things got pretty bad and there is actually a no contact order in force by the court (a very strict no contact order) which I have decided is a blessing in disguise. You will be in my thoughts. You have the strength to end it and take care of yourself and BE HAPPY!!
Feel free to email me anytime.
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Old March 20th, 2004, 12:54 PM   #5
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Hi Faith, (you don't mind if I just call you Faith, do you?) and welcome. I found this wonderful site just recently. It is safe, caring and nonjudgemental. And I too was in the same place you are, so I appreciate what you are going through. I will also be concerned with your safety. Getting a job is a great first step when you can't seem to be able to leave. It will help you rediscover that wonderful, strong, independent self that is really you.

We have been posting about the phrase "my other half" in a different folder and you may find it interesting. I can't remember what folder it is in.....can anyone help?

I'm looking forward to having another "cyber-friend" at this board!
I wanted to be a pirate, but I couldn't grow a beard and rum makes me giggle.
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Old March 20th, 2004, 08:39 PM   #6
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Hi Faithnu35, welcome to WOW, i am pretty new here myself and finding my way around.
i have been in a psychologically abusive marriage and eventually pulled the pin, it takes courage and the timing has to be right, sounds like you are on the right track , one day you'll wake up and say "thats it!"
until then, keep heading in that direction as you are now
"there are no impossible dreams, just our limited perception of what is possible..."
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Old March 2nd, 2005, 03:23 PM   #7
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i just came in to say...i am an old WOW lady..but my situation has changed just alittle bit..my husband seems to be over his verbal abuse..i now get abused by my stepson instead...its a very long complicated tale..and i dont want any1 to think i just want sympathy..this last battary for me..was the final one..i now need to leave and get a new life together..but thats easier said than done...whilst u cling onto what u know sometimes the fear of new changes keeps you there i am trying to find whatever courage i can to get the hell out..im awaiting help from some agencies i called...it was a start at least
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Old March 2nd, 2005, 08:38 PM   #8
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FaithNu, I hope you find a job that you like. It's good to get out of the house and be around others. May I suggest that you set up a separate bank account that you can put money from your pay into.
This is a major step for you. 11years of verbal abuse will stay with you. Do you have a priest, minister, your doctor, someone that will listen to you. Someone that can guide you in the steps to take.
It is terrifying to leave that situation, but it will be better for you in the long run. A lot of people will say < Why stay in that situation they have no clue as to the damage that has transpired to your feelings of self worth.
Wish you the best of luck.
This is a wonderful group of women with enormous hearts. Good luck.
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