Women Online Worldwide  

Go Back   Women Online Worldwide > About Being a Woman > Romantic Relationships

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old February 23rd, 2005, 05:08 AM   #1
wendy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: london
Posts: 4
Angry Prohibited Steps Order

I met a man in a singles bar. We went out together for about 8 months. I loved him and we both decided to have a baby. At 6 months pregnant he told me he was married. I was devastated - I threw him out. He turned up on my doorstep a few days before baby was due. I thought we were going to get back together somehow. he raped me. My waters broke but thankfully delivered a healthy baby on time. Year later he had a baby with his wife (whom I've never met) and stopped seeing his son for 3 yrs. Then he wanted contact again, then he didn't and now he does. He hasn't seen his son for approx 3 years
At the present time a Section 37 Order has been issued to investigate my "apparent" alcohol and mental problems (as alleged by them) with a view to my child being taken into care. (I am a finals law student and my son has won a scholarship to a brilliant school in the West Country - I'm very pro education)The investigation obviously proved a waste of time but worst of all a Prohibited Steps Order preventing us from leaving the area of London where we live and from removing my son from the school where he is due to leave NOW! because he is 7 and its a pre-prep school. This is such a total infringement of my human rights I am completely beside myself. Needless to say that my son's father (who pays 0 maintenance) is free to move wherever he wishes, even abroad. My son and I are really suffering - I don't know how to help myself save to run to Australia or something. Any encouragement or advice from anyone out there would be ever so appreciated.
wendy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old February 23rd, 2005, 11:27 PM   #2
Angel_Wolf
Registered User
 
Angel_Wolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 333
Hello....what does that mean?

Hi Wendy,
Does that order prevent him from attending his schooling? If so you could get an injuction so your son could go to the school. Give all info to father's lawyer and etc. This way you are helping your son and staying within the order. Its just a thought. Check it out with your lawyer is the best bet. Hope it works out for you. Good luck.
Have a nice day!
__________________
~*~ May you walk in the Shadow of the Creator!~*~
Angel_Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old February 24th, 2005, 09:18 AM   #3
wendy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: london
Posts: 4
Yes it does!! His father doesn't give a hoot - he just wants to thwart our future any which way he can .... thank you for the post, it was the first. I'll remember the quote! I've really had a go at God lately!! All the best.
wendy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 11th, 2005, 12:16 PM   #4
jkearns4949
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: DE
Posts: 38
What a terrible story. I think your son's father (if you can call him that) belongs in jail. You should keep fighting to go where you want.
jkearns4949 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 13th, 2005, 04:40 PM   #5
wendy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: london
Posts: 4
I shall be at court on tuesday at 10am with yet another counesl (this time a man and yet again he has had no insight to this case because I am "legally aided" and I shall let you know the outcome. The upshot is that my son who is due to leaves school at the end of this term (in the UK pre - prep school is up to aged 7) who I proudly boast has a "scholarship" to a reputed school in England, may well not be permitted to attend!! It's not like the Father is even paying for it!! God knows I've worked for it with my boy all this time and so far, the court is saying that "I must ""facilitate"" contact"!!!! It matters not whether the father contributes, it matters not that National Youth Advocacy Service (who are supposed to represent my 7 year old) say.. they are supposed to be acting on my child's behalf----- my child has repeatedly told them that he does not want to spent the weekends with his father because "I do not know him!" NYAS just give their own interpretation...l the upshot is, in the UK if a Judge decides that my "scholarship" boy and I would be seen to be "thwarting" "contact" then he will decide that my son attend a local "utterly rubbish" state school just so his father can "as and when he so wishes" keep up contact!! My child will suffer. He belongs to MENSA. He is clever. Would you blame me that once the "Prohibited Steps Order" is removed, I will vanish!! I'm only a law student with little money but so help me God, we will vanish... ..... thanks ..... a further reply would be appreciated
wendy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 13th, 2005, 10:24 PM   #6
Angel_Wolf
Registered User
 
Angel_Wolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 333
This is just a thought

Wendy,
I would supply the school's address and etc. Tell that to your lawyer and let it be known that you would in no way hinder the father from contacting your son while in school. There is many ways the father could do this. By email if the father supplied a laptop, by regular mail, and by phone. Thus you wouldnt be hindering contact between father and son. Thus you would be enabling the father to get to know his son. Then prior to any visits on weekends or summertime, the father and son would have a basis which seems apparent. As well as it would show that the father has the son's best interests at heart. Which is all that you really care about. Tell your lawyer all of this and see what happens. Good luck!
Have a great day!
__________________
~*~ May you walk in the Shadow of the Creator!~*~
Angel_Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 16th, 2005, 04:30 PM   #7
wendy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: london
Posts: 4
Angel Wolf
Many thanks for your ingenious idea!! I havent replied sooner because I wanted to get the Hearing over and done with first. I thought your suggestion was so sensible and clever that I did indeed put it forward to my barrister. He in turn thought it an utterly ingenious idea (I had to pretend it was "my" idea - I hope you'll excuse that!) I don't know what happened to me during this particular Hearing but I felt very uplifted ....I felt like I had Angels with me .. For the first time in 7 years I felt I had simply risen above all the hell of the past... Unusually, the barrister who represented me on this occasion "doesn't do legal aid work" and of course I am indeed legally aided and when I asked him why he was here then he didn't reply but carried on to address all the issues. I have now agreed to allow my son to see his father, indeed I've supplied my phone number, address so that his father may pick him up from where we live in a slum just so he can see what we've had to endure. But I have no worries. My son has achieved the scholarship (which was awaiting my return from Court), we SHALL be moving to where we want to live and the only downside for the Father now, is that my barrister insists I file for a s.2 Childrens Act 1989 lump sum payment and maintenance in addition to half the remainder of the school fees!! All I had said in this regard is that I felt the Father should be "naturally motivated" to WANT to take care of his child and that I really didn't see why I should have to ask the court to make him maintain his child...His contrast reply was that "hey, my wife tells me to fix the roof which is leaking... has been for ages.. she expects me to fix it... she expects me to "know" that it needs fixing... but if she doesn't write it down for me, I don't seem to realise the urgency!" PS. Does Angel Wolf know the book "Women Who Run With The Wolves"? well you do now... bless you lots and thanks
wendy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 16th, 2005, 11:13 PM   #8
MintyFemme2
Registered User
 
MintyFemme2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 571
Wendy I am glad things are going your way. I agree with the barrister. Some men just don't think so they won't do what is "naturally expected" with out a reminder.
__________________
" Life is what you make of it"
MintyFemme2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 22nd, 2005, 09:30 AM   #9
Angel_Wolf
Registered User
 
Angel_Wolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 333
Omgosh!

Oh Wendy, Anything I posted was for your usage and thus becomes an idea for you to use for your advantage. Wow! What wonderful news to hear that things are working in your way. As the barrister said Men do need to have it written down for them to do things. LOL I am so pleased that things worked out for you. I am so excited I can hardly type right. LOL keep on making simple mistakes LOL Now I hope to see you in chat whenever you can. Its a great stress reliever. Or just keep on posting and keep us updated. I just feel like jumping up and down screaming Yes! Yes! Yes! <WEG> I hope you do keep in touch. Let us know how your son is doing.
Have a great day! for you sure have made mine better!
P.S. Who wrote that book so I may look for it? Thanks!
__________________
~*~ May you walk in the Shadow of the Creator!~*~
Angel_Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:33 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Copyright ?1996-2008, Women Online Worldwide