Women Online Worldwide  

Go Back   Women Online Worldwide > About Being a Woman > Romantic Relationships

Thread Tools
Old December 5th, 2004, 12:04 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 8
He's not looking for a relationship, but

I went out last night with a guy that I have liked for a long time. Since he's did the asking, I was pretty psyched. We talked about quite a few things over dinner, but then he drops a bomb. He's not into the "relationship thing", but he likes me and thinks that we have a lot in common and would like to hang out any time I'm interested.

I have to take what he said about not having a relationship at face value. If it's not what he wants, fine. I don't want to lose hiim as a friend, but fear that if we do "hang out" then I will be hoping for the day that he will actually want a relationship.

Should we hang out together (and I will just have to control my emotions), or do I possibly lose a friend by staying away?
Michelle0607 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 5th, 2004, 01:11 PM   #2
Tammy's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 143
You <B>have</B> a relationship with this guy.

If you want a deeper, more intimate relationship with this guy, then you should invest yourself in the relationship you have and see what it grows into. Maybe it will grow into lifelong love, or maybe it will grow into friendship at a much deeper level.

If you're not willing to value or invest in the relationship you already have, then you have no power to take it to any other level.

"Instant love" is a delusion created in society by sit coms and soap operas. It's seldom satisfying and never lasts.
Tammy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 5th, 2004, 03:41 PM   #3
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 8
That's how I see it. We have a relationship... friendship. He's the one who called it a "relationship thing." But I think you're right. I do want to be friends, even if nothing comes of it.
I think he was trying to say that he is not looking for a girlfriend. Which is fine, because I don't have time to invest in a boyfriend. But it is nice to be around somebody who is a lot like me.
Michelle0607 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2004, 09:40 AM   #4
Long Live WOW!!
PoohsBigSister's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: CO
Posts: 1,791
Tammy, you hit the nail directly on the head!!! and Michelle, kudos to you for already knowing it and following through with it!

Happy Holidays!
"Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo
PoohsBigSister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 1st, 2006, 12:24 AM   #5
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DC
Posts: 2
Re: He's not looking for a relationship, but

If you don't want to be his girlfriend, then also keep a tight reign on your expectations. You have a friendship with him--it may not turn into much more than a 'friends with benefits' situation--which will get you further from a relationship than closer.
quenek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 2nd, 2006, 11:43 PM   #6
Registered User
MintyFemme2's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 571
Hmm quenek I don't think Michelle0607
is looking at this guy a a "friendship w/ benefit" type thing. Sex at this point would complicate things if you ask me. I think Michelle0607 is on the right track with getting to know the guy 1st and working on a friendship. Hey (((((((((TAMMY and PBS))))))))))).
" Life is what you make of it"
MintyFemme2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2006, 01:57 PM   #7
Posts: n/a
My husband and I both said that we were not interested in a relationship when we started talking. Less than two years later we are married with a one month old baby. LOL

We had no expectations beyond being friends but it didn't take it long to blossom into so much more so I say just take things as they come and enjoy your relationship on whatever level you are on without expectations. If it is meant to become more then it will if not then just enjoy what you do have.

  Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2006, 07:46 PM   #8
A survivor of chaos
Wolf_angel's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Talking Cool!

((((((RogersvilleMom aka Tina))))))

Welcome to WOW! Its so good of you to share your story with the rest of us here!

Hope to see you in chat and on the message boards!

We have a good ole time in chat! LOL

Have a great day!
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Copyright ?1996-2008, Women Online Worldwide