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Old March 20th, 2006, 11:28 AM   #46
PoohsBigSister
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LOL!! funny you should say that...I had that same problem from home this weekend..the new high-speed modem won't work with my pirch... so I need to play around with it too!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr...

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Old March 27th, 2006, 12:03 AM   #47
NatalieT20
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Unhappy

Hello everyone. This is my first time visiting this site. After reading everyone's postings, I decided to write my own. It's a little strange telling people about the emotional abuse I'm dealing with but I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I'm 20 and currently enrolled in college. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We have a little girl who is turning 2 this year. Lately, things have been really hard and I've began to realize that I'm being put through emotional abuse.
My boyfriend is constantly putting me through stress and misery. He is not physically abusive to me, and as far as I know he's never cheated on me. But the way he talks to me and the way he messes with my mind is horrible. He constantly calls me names "Stupid, ugly, fat, dumb***, whore" basically anything you can you can think of I've been called. (His favorite being the "B" word) He is always starting fights over the smallest little things. He has a horrible temper and he explodes into yelling and name calling. He is very jealous of anyone else in my life. I basically have no friends any more because if I wanted to go out with them he would be sure to make the night a living hell for me. So it was just easier to avoid the situation all together. He is constantly telling me what to do. He must know what I'm doing every second of the day.
Lately, he's been accusing me of cheating. (which is absolutely untrue). I feel like no matter what I do or don't do he's never satisfied. I'm constantly giving and he never stops taking. It's as if he does not care at all about my feelings. I can't talk to him about anything. If I try to tell him about my day or just talk to him he'll roll his eyes and say "I don't care". It's so hurtful because I love him but he makes me feel worse than anyone else.
No matter what we fight about, he always twist it around to being my fault. I'll give you an example. Just a couple of days ago, one of his friends called the house to let us know he needed to get a grill he's left at our house. I said ok and we hung up. Later I tell my bf that he called and needed to get his grill. My boyfried exploded saying "You never talk to another guy!blah blah blah" He wouldn't talk to me for 3 days. He swears that he can't trust me and I was "talking" to another guy. He never apoligized because he believes he's right...
He is so selfish and he can't see things from anyone else's point of view. I know that I need to get out of this relationship. It's unhealthy and I'm not happy. But it's like I'm in an invisible cage that I can't get out of.
Anyway, I feel a little better getting some things off my chest.
Thanks for listening
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Old March 27th, 2006, 09:06 AM   #48
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Ai yi yi!

Does he treat your child like this too? He needs to get some help. You don't want to live like that and you certainly don't want your child to have that kind of example of how a man treats a woman.
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Old March 27th, 2006, 09:28 AM   #49
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Hmmmm

(((((((NatalieT20))))))))))

I agree with ((((((( Cod )))))))

Sorry to hear of your troubles. You can love someone but if they are like this then that is the kind of 'love' you dont need. There are more fish out in the sea of Life. Trust me I know. I have been there done that. So do yourself a favor and get out. You have your lovely child to think of. You just have to think who is more important in this scenario. Then check out your local resources for yourself. The main person here to protect is your daughter and then yourself. Mind you it wont be easy, yet it would be for the best in my opinion.
Wishing you lots of good luck.

Have a great day!
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Old March 27th, 2006, 11:55 AM   #50
NatalieT20
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Hello again everyone. Well, he isn't bad to our child. He's actually pretty good with her. Although, I know this doesn't mean that in the future he couldn't begin to treat her the same. She is my main focus and about the only thing in my life that I can smile about. I know that our fighting is horrible to do in front of her. I try my hardest to avoid the fights but that's pretty much impossible. I grew up in a house with constant fighting and I had to watch my mother deal with abuse. (Although I myself was never abused as a child). I know how it effects a child and I hate to think of her going through all of the fear and pain that I grew up with. Right now he is staying in New Orleans (I'm in Georgia) working on the Katrina aftermath. He's been away for about 6 months. But we still fight like crazy over the phone. I also grew up without a father and I know how hard that is on a girl. I want her to grow up with her daddy because I know that he will love her more than any other man will and I guess I'm just praying for a change or that things can somehow get better. Even though deep down I don't think they ever will.
He doesn't understand that there is a problem and even if he did he doubt he'd be willing to change. He says "This is the way I am..If you don't like it go find someone else..." Most people would say just leave or I would never let someone talk to me like that. But it's just not that easy...I don't have a clue what keeps me holding on
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Old March 27th, 2006, 06:07 PM   #51
Addie
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Hi Natalie!

If you read your post again, you'll see that you hit the nail on the head without even realizing it. You grew up in a household where you saw your mother being abused and now, you're being abused. You say that he isn't abusing your daughter, just you, but as you can see, she'll grow up to think it's okay to be abused.
Maybe not having a father in the house isn't ideal to someone who grew up without one, but she'll be just fine. It's so much better to live with one parent in a loving and sane house than with two who are fighting.

You have to stop the cycle. You have to do it for your daughter.

btw.. Nice to meet you, welcome to the WOW boards!!!
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Old March 28th, 2006, 11:03 PM   #52
NatalieT20
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Yeah I've realized this. I always said I'd never let a man treat me like I saw my mother being treated. And here I am... I know that it can become a never ending cycle because that's what's happened with me. I never believed it was ok for a man to treat me like this. I guess I've just never had any close relationships with any man and it's as if I run to the first "available" one or the first one to show me affection. At the beginning of our relationship it wasn't like this at all. I mean yeah we'd argue but he never talked to me the way he does now. I guess because I never stood up for myself he figured he could get away with it... And now he knows he can talk to me however he wants without any repercussions. I've thought about asking him to go to counseling but I just don't know how well that would work out...
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Old March 29th, 2006, 10:45 AM   #53
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Natalie, why don't you seek out counseling for yourself. I think it would help you get the strength to do something to change your situation.

You know that old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Well in most cases that is true. You said you've been apart for six months, right? Those phone conversations should be about loving and missing each other, not the same old fighting you do when you are together.

Since you've been coming in here to post, it seems you want to do something to change all this. I hope you will.
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Old May 26th, 2006, 02:35 PM   #54
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Smile hello

Quote:
Originally posted by IRISH_EYES_99
(((((Dot Wow)))) Hi to all I hope with all my heart that women realize that verbal and emotional abuse is not acceptable... It can be as devastating as physical abuse.... growing up I had both... please if you are going though it or have and need to talk about .... know that I care as well as so many others in here do.. remember ....
You can be strong, you are strong and you are a good person... NOBODY has the right to abuse you in any fashion... (((( hugs to all))) IRISH_EYES_99
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Old July 14th, 2008, 08:09 AM   #55
gris sky
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u have said a lot but the pain is always here..drunkun father, emotional ,verbal and physical violence what 2 say other..even adult cant fully protect my self coz it's a taboo in the society and pire it's some how acceptable ...:-/ want 2 shout,2 cry but no 1 listen..a mute wall..
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Old July 14th, 2008, 11:10 AM   #56
IRISH_EYES_99
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grissky,

Is there any one you can talk to? Is there a safe place to go at all? May you find the strength you need. Not living there, and have never visited there, not in a position to help you. Just wish you some peace in your life.
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Old July 28th, 2008, 08:11 AM   #57
gris sky
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thx eyrish eyes99

no 1 can do nothing 4 me only GOD can ..the oriental world is different of yrs..it's like we c in old movies..it's the man and only the man who command of cource there is a lot of open persons ,open familly but still the society control the latrge majority..so if i can i'll choose another tawn 2 live in but nothing comared 2 live in but nothing compared with r way of life where no 1 can ask u why u live alone coz it's some how inaccaptable..and 2 look 2 u as a bad person coz u live alone ..unfortunatly it's like this here..hate 2 say that but it's the reallity..lollll and the pire of all this that my salute or the solution have 2 be a husband 2 change life but still here there a pb ..it'll be a man and i can't garantie what king of man he is and if he is a bad person i'll have no life and i loose the rest of my life and i can't accept or bear this ..want only 1 thing have a peacfull life with a good person..may be 1 day my wich ll realise and then i'll be ok i'm sure...
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