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Old August 27th, 2005, 03:46 AM   #1
sadashivan
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Question Women sufferings and infidelity

Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on her marital status and is suicidal for her:
? She looses the trust and dependability; who would she trust when own man has cheated. She is devastated sensitively and mentally. She leads her tensed life with grieving emotions would be enough to develop mental and physical deceases.
? Both partners believe sexual partner as a personal valuable asset that demonstrates dignity and pride. A sexual partner is most valued partner becomes own dignity thus loosing partner is loosing dignity. Unfaithfulness of the partner is an insult to the personal values. So the matter becomes unbearable and embarrassment if partner?s sexual attraction goes into others hands is shameful and loosing self-respect.
? Her financial and other security is at risk. For a woman, her male partner is her security and safety. In addition, for a woman who is dependent, her man is the economic security. Her man shares her necessities, burdens, takes responsibilities of her, and kids. When he is there she is totally worry free.
? Loss of the best and emotional friend/partner she got. She, as she wished could share with partner her sentiments, anger, sorrow and everything of her was for her mental relief, what she cannot share with unknown. So is an emotional attack on her.
? For as father of her children. Her man is her identity as her security. a woman it is pride when her man is around her. Absence of the partner results loneliness, which she would hate more than anything. Loneliness exists when is unable to share personal thoughts and sentiments with reliable person, is like killing self.
? She/he is not worried of her/his relation out side marriage rather what worries him/her is loosing emotional attachment woven during the whole episode. So more than the security she looses the emotional values she possessed and shared. Security is for survival and emotional attachment is for the energy she needs for existence. That is why women feel totally distressed when her man deceives.
? For a man his woman is his dignity and for a woman her man is her dignity and identity. Her man is her identity
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Old August 27th, 2005, 04:10 AM   #2
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Old August 27th, 2005, 06:25 PM   #3
Wolf_angel
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Exclamation Ok here is my thoughts on this

Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her.
Yes of course cause he violated a trust
The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on her marital status and is suicidal for her:
Property? I dont think so....that is the old days I am his partner and vice versa. He isnt my everything but he has the values in a man I wanted. My choice just like it was his. Sacrifice is par for the course both do it. It can be hurtful but not suicidal, not for me anyway. BTDT
? She looses the trust and dependability; who would she trust when own man has cheated. She is devastated sensitively and mentally. She leads her tensed life with grieving emotions would be enough to develop mental and physical deceases. Well that is normal on losing trust but as for dependability she has two legs arms and a brain! Hard yes but not as hard as having a baby to go on without him! Counseling helps as well as girlfriends!
? Both partners believe sexual partner as a personal valuable asset that demonstrates dignity and pride. A sexual partner is most valued partner becomes own dignity thus loosing partner is loosing dignity.
The only dignity that is lost is on him not her for she has values which he apparently forgot or lost! As far as assetts...he wouldnt have any after a divorce! LOL
Unfaithfulness of the partner is an insult to the personal values. So the matter becomes unbearable and embarrassment if partner?s sexual attraction goes into others hands is shameful and loosing self-respect.
Shameful and lost of self-respect is his fault not hers, she is a diamond to his dust!
? Her financial and other security is at risk. For a woman, her male partner is her security and safety. In addition, for a woman who is dependent, her man is the economic security. Her man shares her necessities, burdens, takes responsibilities of her, and kids. When he is there she is totally worry free.
So true yet in today's world Women have more things accessible to them than in the old days! As far as being totally free from worry that is a crock! Mothers worry all the time!
? Loss of the best and emotional friend/partner she got. She, as she wished could share with partner her sentiments, anger, sorrow and everything of her was for her mental relief, what she cannot share with unknown. So is an emotional attack on her.
At the time, yet we have girlfriends and family. Who will come to her aid when she needs it!
? For as father of her children. Her man is her identity as her security. a woman it is pride when her man is around her. Absence of the partner results loneliness, which she would hate more than anything. Loneliness exists when is unable to share personal thoughts and sentiments with reliable person, is like killing self.
Loneliness can kill anyone but with children she isnt totally lonely. Which is where friends and family step in again!
? She/he is not worried of her/his relation out side marriage rather what worries him/her is loosing emotional attachment woven during the whole episode. So more than the security she looses the emotional values she possessed and shared. Security is for survival and emotional attachment is for the energy she needs for existence. That is why women feel totally distressed when her man deceives.
A woman feels stressed for the hectic life she leads least of all a lying two timing man she trusted on top of it. Emotional values are rearranged and she moves on!
? For a man his woman is his dignity and for a woman her man is her dignity and identity. Her man is her identity
The same could be said of a man with his woman...yet women have an identity the man cant take away...They are usually the mothers! Plus they are more stronger than a man... we bring in the children physically ourselves with our bodies. Her dignity may suffer but she will become stronger and more guarded thus a formidable woman to be reckoned with. Hence watch out men cause this is one woman you dont want to mess with!!

/e steps down from the soap box

Have a great day!
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Old August 28th, 2005, 01:27 AM   #4
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Well, I only have one thing to say. If her husband is her identity and security, she has more issues than a broken trust.
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Old August 28th, 2005, 09:17 AM   #5
Wolf_angel
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Wink Yes I quite agree

((((((DLC)))))))

Yes I quite agree with you on that.

I will point out that in my first marriage I was very naive' and thus dependent on my husband. Yet when I did blossom or grow out of that, is when he wanted a divorce. I guessed it was because I wasnt so blinded anymore.

Yet I have moved on to better things.

That is one thing my current husband says he likes. That I am independent and will voice my ideas, concerns and whatever else I have on my mind.

One thing that is hard is when a woman is married to a military man. Who then goes to War aka Gulf War or the current one. This is where they will learn and grow. For its up to them to keep the home fires burning. They are the women who get opinionated strong minded. Thus the type of woman not too many men want to mess with. LOL

My mom was such a woman and I am glad that I have become one.

Most of my insecurities are my own. Not based on my kids or hubby. But things in my head and heart that worry me. Yet with friends found here and around me, I know in time things will work out.

So be glad you are a woman! Be proud for you are the one who makes someone's day better and brighter for being who you are. We are strong yet able to bend.

Have a great day! Knowing you are thought of and wished the best!
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Old August 28th, 2005, 10:08 PM   #6
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(((((((((( DLC))))))))))))),

I couldn't agree with you more.

Those issues need to be handled even more than the unfaithfulness. How sad not to be considered an individual.
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Old August 23rd, 2008, 05:11 PM   #7
ashrafsadik
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marital life is something sacred we must conserve it .we mut avoid treason and infigelity .it is amut to be faithful to the person you thaw out among his /her arms
you must keep your relationship with who you unified with him or her .it is the banner of marital life - to be fidel -i dont respect who betray his beloved except if there are any troubles
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Old December 15th, 2009, 03:23 PM   #8
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their is hope!!!!

He may have cheated once maybe several times, but he will hit rock bottom. Once he hits he will no longer cheat and he will do nothing but spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you unless he knows that he has hurt you so bad that he would rather divorce you cause he thinks that you would be happier and better off without him.
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Old December 15th, 2009, 03:44 PM   #9
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Not in this lifetime. My current husband has done many things since February. Now its all stacked against him not including the recent newsflash I got this morning. Mind you both devastating newsflashes he gives me is via text. So to me that is making him less than a man and the one who I was in love with. Is it my fault? No way. I never lied, cheated, and etc. Yet he has. Now he has to decide what he wants from there is what I will do.
Have a great day!
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