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Old November 22nd, 2010, 06:31 AM   #1
georgie
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Hurting bad

My story is over thirty years old. I am in love with someone other than my husband. I married my husband because of family pressure. I was with my love for more than three years and were to be married. It wasn't meant to be, because of my parents. I was young and naive, and did what they wanted. I hurt him bad. I married this other person, and thought that I could love him in time, knowing that he loved me. It wasn't to be. We moved to the middle east from Australia to be close to his family. I was so ignorant and pregnant. I was never happy, especially living here. I was unable to adjust, but stayed for my children. Being a devout christain, I thought that this was what God had planned for me. I was sinking further into depression because of the continued abuse and the death of my son in a car accident. All this time, not a day went by without me thinking of the love of my life. Nothing has made me change my feelings towards him. I have been living a lie.

Six months ago, while in Sydney; my son lives there now, I saw my love. I cannot begin to explain how it felt. He was married with a family of his own. We were in church, each alone. He asked if he could talk to me. Off course, I couldn't resist. He told me that he still loved me and has never stopped, and even after all these years he feels more love. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was taking the words out of my mouth. I also told him how I felt. It was the beginning of the most memorable three months of my life. We knew this would not last, and that we could not continue this relationship. We had a lot to catch up on. Thirty years had passed. He taught me a lot. He gave me strength and confidence in myself that I didn't think existed. He made me feel beautiful inside and out. I was his princess. If this relationship went on too many people would be hurt. I am home now a changed women, but I am hurting bad. My tears don't stop and am sinking further into depression. I am putting on a big act in front of my husband, which is nothing new.

I have told my children about my feelings, and how I feel towards their father. They understand and are with me 100%. I am planning to take my kids and go back to Australia, but I need time. I will not leave without them. If my husband can live without his parents and sisters he can follow. I have put up with enough, and am still pretending. I know that I will never be with the person I truly love, but I hope that one day, even after another thirty years we can be together. I haven't heard his voice in four months and it's killing me inside. I don't know if I can go on without him. I love him more than life itself.
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Old November 23rd, 2010, 07:45 PM   #2
WillowWOW
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Well the thing is now that you are thirty years wiser...look at the overall picture. Then take it step by step. Just be safe. Wish you the best!
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Old January 26th, 2011, 05:57 PM   #3
iampat
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I wish I could give some advice or a witty answer of some sort. Maybe you should speak with a counselor or your pastor in order to get some insight from them. I hope things work out for the best for you, whether that's with your current husband or the old flame. Good luck.
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Old February 14th, 2011, 08:15 PM   #4
moniker
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I agree that you should not stay married to someone you do not love. While we can all say "Shame on you" for marrying someone you didn't love, we can't change the past. You knew what you were doing and felt pressured into it...as you said, you were young. We all were young, we've done things we're not proud of, but the great part about the future is we have a chance to change it. In other words, don't feel guilty about moving on.

As for this man, the love of your life, try not to get too wrapped up in this. While that sounds impossible, remember that life is life and that not everything works out perfectly. The more you get to know him, you may realize he's changed in ways you find unacceptable and may have to move on. If that happens, never regret your decision.
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Old February 15th, 2011, 03:58 AM   #5
JANE20/20
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Hi Georgie....I read your story and....it so bitter sweet...I don't know what to say except....sometimes you have to follow your heart....and you say your not happy....and haven't been for a long time...that has to be hard on you....think it through...make your plans and be very careful......you are the only one that truly knows what you need......God Bless!......
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Old February 20th, 2011, 05:16 AM   #6
georgie
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Thank you all for your support. Nothing has changed with my situation and am still hurting. I know that I can only help myself and look forward to better life in Australia. Hopefully, another year and my daughter will be starting university, so I will try and survive until then. My children are my ticket out of here. My eldest son plans to go back in a few months, which will pave our way. Noone knows what the future holds, all I can do is hope and pray. Wish me luck.
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Old February 20th, 2011, 01:40 PM   #7
Jennifer23
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Georgie, Good luck! And I hope that everything works out for you.
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Old February 22nd, 2011, 02:05 AM   #8
JANE20/20
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Georgie...I do wish you much luck!.....can you let us know how things work out.....
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