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Old June 21st, 2008, 06:13 PM   #1
janni2525
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 29
Smile I left my wife in another state.

Hello. Let me begin by saying that I met this very wonderful woman. She had a family before we met. One son and one daughter. We met and married. I suffer from breathing problems and had to leave the state where we lived at. The state is famous for high altitudes. I got there and I used to get very dizzy. It took me about a year to get over the dizziness. But the breathing problems remained. I also became bloated. By the time I came back to this other state my blood pressure was very high and I felt like I weigh 400 pounds. I was so winded and now I'm getting my stamina back. My wife is in recovery for using drugs and the other day she told me that she drank some pills that another person uses which that person also uses drugs and she told me that she was very confused and didn't remember getting up late at night to call someone on the phone. I got very disapointed and ended the relationship. I told her to look for some drug counseling. I'm in the process of getting my own apartment in this state. The only thing is that I still love her dearly. I have doubts we will ever be happy together if we make things work. Lately all I was feeling was disapointment towards her. On top of that most times she seemed confused about what she wanted to do in life or where she wanted to be. I felt uncertained and couldn't dream of the future with her. I need to know where things are going so that I can feel safe in a relationship. Does anyone feel this way as well?
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Old July 8th, 2008, 10:11 AM   #2
Foreverauntie
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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I think we all feel the same, one time or another. You did make a first step with her. You let her know that you won't live with her, in her currant state. So, maybe she can make it a priority to improve herself. But, you have to do what is good for your mental and physical health. Maybe you could be there for her, just not in the way you are used to. My sister is a meth-addict, she has issues with our family. It was hard to be there as her sister. I had to step away from her. She still is a meth-addict, but it doesn't consume me. I love her, but when I need to step away, I can. GOOD LUCK!
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Old December 27th, 2011, 05:13 PM   #3
janni2525
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 29
Smile I came back.

I went to stay at a relatives house for a while, but couldn't find an apartment. I worked things out with my partner and things are better. I came back 4 months after the posting of this message.

It wasn't easy explaining things. But it was all worth the wait. My partner went to visit her daughter and things were settled. I just wish she could have gone earlier, because not seeing her daughter was so stressful. Basically that is the reason I walked away too besides my health.

We spoke about a lot of things and now she knows exactly what I feel. Another thing too is that she had some friends that were making our lives a bit tense. I told her if she wanted to she would be better off visiting with them. I told her that our home should be lived in peace and quiet.

Things have been better now that she sees her son and her friends outside the home. I get along with people, but sometimes you have to place boundaries. sometimes things get out of hand. Just because I lived in dysfunction growing up it doesn't mean I should keep living a dysfunctional life.

I just can't live like that again. I live a better life now. I want to keep it that way. Thanks for all your replies. Have a great new year.
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