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Old September 30th, 2011, 03:13 AM   #1
Cupcake10
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Question Can't stop thinking of him

Hi everyone! I'm new here.
Ok, so I have a problem and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I have been married for 9 years. We have no children. I love my husband, but lately I've can't stop thinking of another man. He's someone I met through work. We have known each other a little over 2 years and from the first time I met him I just felt chemistry. I only see him a few times a month, if that (we are rarely in the office at the same time). I had feelings for him before but just ignored it. Now I honestly think of him 24/7. I don't want to cheat on my husband and my co worker is married also. The other man has never made advances, but when we are together just talking everyone else seems to disappear. I honestly think I would lose all self control if he even hinted he wanted an affair. But, my husband doesn't deserve that and I never wanted to be a cheater. I don't know what to do.
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Old September 30th, 2011, 08:17 AM   #2
Wolf_angel
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Well find out what made you fall in love with your husband in the first place. Revisit those memories. See what awesome qualities your husband has that made you first notice him. Stop with the thought of the other man. You just dont know what kind of person he is to live with let alone what kind of ball of wax you may get unknowingly! Besides your husband nor his wife deserves to be cheated on. Just limit talking and exposure. Reinvest in your husband. Do some quality times with your husband. I hope this helps as it was meant too. By the way I have been cheated on so know the pain and etc that goes with that. Hugs
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Old September 30th, 2011, 02:37 PM   #3
celebratingwomen
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I agree with Wolf angel. It is absolutely natural to meet people throughout the course of your life that you happen to have a real sexual chemistry with. As great as the fantasies are you have to remember that they are only fantasies. My suggestion to you is to set up a romantic date night with your husband. I think that you should tell him then that you are feeling disconnected with him in the relationship and you want to do things to get that feeling and excitement back. Ask him what he would like as well to create more passion between the two of you. All the best!
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Old October 1st, 2011, 11:18 PM   #4
Cupcake10
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Thank you for responding. I do feel like I am just not connecting with my husband right now and we need to work on that. I never thought about how much I really enjoy being with my husband. I talked to him and we are trying to work on things. I'm pushing thoughts of the other man out of my mind!
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Old January 15th, 2012, 08:21 PM   #5
candycane45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cupcake10 View Post
Hi everyone! I'm new here.
Ok, so I have a problem and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I have been married for 9 years. We have no children. I love my husband, but lately I've can't stop thinking of another man. He's someone I met through work. We have known each other a little over 2 years and from the first time I met him I just felt chemistry. I only see him a few times a month, if that (we are rarely in the office at the same time). I had feelings for him before but just ignored it. Now I honestly think of him 24/7. I don't want to cheat on my husband and my co worker is married also. The other man has never made advances, but when we are together just talking everyone else seems to disappear. I honestly think I would lose all self control if he even hinted he wanted an affair. But, my husband doesn't deserve that and I never wanted to be a cheater. I don't know what to do.
Wow, if I hadn't known better, I would have thought this post came from me. I have the same feelings for another man. I have been married almost 28 years. I married when I was very young and over the years I have changed and my husband unfortunately has not. I have matured and he has not. We have no children and he is now ill. The other man that I have feelings for has not made advances either, but when we are near, you can feel the tension. It's been a few months since I have seen him, but I constantly think about him. I don't think that he would make advances toward me because I am married. If my husband was in good health, I feel like I would have already asked for a divorce. But, I can't abandon him at this point and now I feel trapped. I feel like by the time I am free the other man will have found someone by then and I will be heartbroken. Life sucks.
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