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Old June 11th, 2007, 11:36 PM   #1
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Exes still in the picture

My current boyfriend of several years has kept in touch with one of his ex-girlfriends, who lives in the same city. They dated briefly and it simply didn't work out. They ended up reconnecting as friends, and have remained close since then. While I think of myself as understanding and laid back, and I do trust and love him, there are a couple of things that continue to bother me about their relationship. I'm unsure if they are truly cause for concern, or if I'm just being neurotic and jealous.

The factors that bother me (cumulatively):

1. She is the only ex-girlfriend that he actively sees and keeps in touch with.

2. I didn't learn of her until after we had dated for a year. I found it odd since I'd met his other close friends and relatives by then.

3. He'd express goals for us to meet (to which I expressed interest), but nothing ever happened.

4. Meanwhile, they would meet for dinner spontaneously, plans from which I'd be excluded. He'd return sending her regards, and insisting that next time, we should really do something together (lip service).

5. I expressed my concerns. I told him that while I want to respect their friendship, it bothers me that he confides in her about our relationship, and that while he proclaims that he'd like us to be friends, neither of them actually follow through, and on top of #1-4 above, make for a suspicious scenario.

6. We finally have dinner together, well into our 2nd year. Plans/promises are made for future gatherings, which don't come to fruition.

7. They continue to correspond and they spontaneously meet again, and again I am excluded.

8. She has remained single throughout(dating, but nothing serious)

9. At the end of the day, it feels either he is keeping her around for a rainy day, or that she is trying to get him alone all the time. Not sure which one it is, but both scenarios bother me intensely.

I love and trust my boyfriend and we are planning on a future together. However there is a part of me that doesn't trust the above circumstances, and I don't want to be a fool. When she comes up, my imagination runs wild. At the same time I feel that I cannot demand that he stop seeing her, etc. And now, she may get involved in some of his projects as a financial resource/backer.

What to make of it? Am I overreacting? Anyone out there deal with similar? How to deal?
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Old June 24th, 2008, 04:43 PM   #2
The Complex World of Me!
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 29
I don't quite have that problem. But, I do have a problem with his ex. She left their relationship 2 years ago. But, she finds ways to still be part of his life. EX. - she is a tutor to Bob's nephew. She wrote all about Bob and his family in her blog on her Myspace page. She wrote blogs about me on there. Now, she wants to sue Bob for $4000. She wants the money for the things that were bought for their home. ( she has the stuff) The home wasn't theirs, it was Bob's parents. She has the things, but wants money for it anyways. She also wouldn't divorce Bob until her tuition for her schooling was payed. She got grants, because he is on disability. Well it got paid and Bob finally got divorced. She feels the need to keep in contact somehow or someway. I guess it is what a person is willing to live with.
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