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Old July 25th, 2003, 10:37 PM   #1
DACDjr
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When enough is enough!

Hi everyone!

As most of you know I have a 3 year old, DJ. Well I am having some problems on the correct ways to punish him. He has become total terror on 2 feet.

When he kicked my pup, I sent him to his room. When he threw a pen at my oldest son and cut his head, I popped his butt. When he decided to write in purple marker all over my WHITE walls. I took all his drawing stuff away for 2 days. I have done away with T.V, going outside, no candy, no pool, no toys ect. ect. Then he decided to swing on my entertainment stand window and it shattered, cutting him and his brother. Of course I was upset with him. I took them both to the doc and had them taken care of and when we got home, I had to decide the best way to punish him.

But nothing works with him. He will just sit there and scream in my face 'mom I hate you, you don`t love me, I want my daddy.'

I do not like or agree with hitting my children but when enough is enough, what next? When you try everything besides spankings, what do you do?
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Old July 25th, 2003, 11:58 PM   #2
Addie
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How about trying some special time just for the two of you? It sounds like he needs extra attention right now and doesn't know how to get it. Plan some projects, some activities, lots of extra love and hugs. A project can be as simple as planning and "cooking" dinner together.

Aong with extra you time, it sounds like he's a very active little boy. Is there a planned physical activity for 3 year olds? Something like extra pee wee T-ball or soccer or gymnastics/tumbling.
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Old July 26th, 2003, 12:22 AM   #3
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You might also pay extra attention to what's going on around him when he <I>is</I> behaving (even if it's only 1% of the time) and see if you can pick out anything particular that's going on that you/he can do more of.
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Old July 26th, 2003, 12:38 AM   #4
DACDjr
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We have "our time". DJ and I read books together, color, play outside, watch movies. Favorite things we do together are fishing and making cookies, lol heck of a combo.

It is like he snaps all at once. An angel one minute and something else the next. We have watched him playing with his toys and it is like he has a "friend" that ticks him off. I mean he will start screaming and cutting a fit over nothing! The scarey part is when he bangs his head on the floor or the wall!

I have thought of taking him to the doctor to have him checked out. But the scared mommy came in. I just don`t know what to do!

Maybe he will grow out of it!
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Old July 26th, 2003, 06:41 AM   #5
topsinapod
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(((((DAC)))) Take him to a doctor. Banging his head is a serious symptom of a larger problem.

I drive children with very serious problems and some of the kids at the school I drive at actually have to wear helmets to protect them from doing damage to themselves. Don't delay. You'll be helping him by getting him checked and it's NOT a reflection of your parenting skills.

The little boy I drive is almost 7 but he was diagnosed around the age of yours. There IS help out there. Seek it.
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Old July 26th, 2003, 10:36 AM   #6
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((((Tops))))

I guess I am scared they will find something wrong with him. That is why I have not taken him. I know I need to, maybe they can help me help him to stop doing what he is doing. Everyone has told me he is a typical 3 year old going through the "Horrible Three`s" So I have left it alone thinking he would stop, but he will be 4 in a month and a half and it is getting worse.

His behavior problems have me on egg shells. It hurts when your son says I hate you, I don`t love you, I want my daddy.

But then I think he does not do this when daddy is here. Maybe that is why he does is? He misses his daddy? Tammy you may be right! Dad can`t be here all the time and he don`t understand that. But I try to fill that void, guess I don`t do a good job at it or he would not be this way!

I am going to call his doc and all of us are going to go in and see what we can do to help him.
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Old July 26th, 2003, 12:05 PM   #7
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YES definitely do that! (((DJ)))
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Old July 26th, 2003, 04:29 PM   #8
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No advice (((((DACDjr))))


But I hope everything works out.
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Old July 26th, 2003, 04:40 PM   #9
topsinapod
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(((((((((((DAC)))))))))))) My good friend!

It's a wise decision for all of you to go and get this looked into. There are many things out there that can be tried to help him.

The little guy I drive was diagnosed with some pretty heavy stuff and apparently he has been this way from birth but it takes time to become visible. He can be perfectly calm one minute and be screaming and kicking the seats the next with NO warning at all. I'm NOT saying that's the case with your son, but I am saying that getting him checked will give him some help and YOU some peace of mind. If he does have some kind of medical problem there are programs out there that can teach you how to help him and you how to cope. There are also programs that will help with the financial aspect if he is diagnosed with a problem.

Don't delay, follow through. You won't regret it.

Please feel free to write to me anytime hun if you need to talk. Good luck sweetie. You've made the right decision.
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