Women Online Worldwide  

Go Back   Women Online Worldwide > The WOW Community Cafe > Getting to know you!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old August 1st, 2006, 10:45 AM   #226
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Talking Here it goes

(((((((Roomies)))))))

(((((((Susie))))))

Well yesterday was court. Here it was an informal conference with my enforcement officer, my ex on the phone and myself in a chair. Well first thing he did was say he couldnt quite hear to a hearing deficit, which is a lie since I had the same speaker phone and he talked to the children last December over it. Yet needless to say, he (the ex) brought up irrevelant items like my daughter being pregnant and out of school. Omg....hello....Its summertime duh!!!!!! As you can see how redundant he was. The only good part was we did get the DNA test ordered for the youngest son Lantz. Now I dont care what color you are, its what is on the inside that matters. Yet regarding my youngest son Lantz, who is a red haired Hazle eyed boy, is supposed of mixed race i.e. white and black. I dont think so pal! LOL Yet that was what the children's Great Grandmother thinks. I think its funny since Lantz has her coloring. Anyway I wont know the results of yesterday's meeting. Prior to this I didnt care about alimony. I dont care what the amount is, I want it and more if I can. I was so upset I wanted to have a beer. Yet came home and did odds and ends.

Then last night my oldest son Travis, who is now an Airman in the U.S.Navy and recent graduate of boot camp, called me. Oh my was I so happy and on cloud nine. Then since he only can use calling cards, he had to get more to keep on chatting with his Mom! Which again made me cry for the second time of the day! Yet this was a good one.

My oldest son Travis told me to say
((((Hi Ladies...Irish nobeef Minty Pearlcat and all the other wonderful Ladies))))) Thanks for letting my Mom talk to me last night! Sure do miss being home and seeing her chatting with all of you. LOL I know it makes her day to do that. Hugs and kisses Travis
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 3rd, 2006, 11:56 AM   #227
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Oh wow!

(((((((((Roomies))))))))

Omgosh! Last night was so tiring and yet not a baby yet! LOL Anyway just really tired.

Then having to wait to hear the outcome from court! UGH! I swear someone needs to start doing their job so I can do mine better! LOL

Anyway, hope that all of you are having a better time of it.

Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 13th, 2006, 11:01 AM   #228
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Question Please let me know

((((Roomies)))) ((((WOW's TF's)))))

Just wanted ya'lls opinion or thoughts on this ok?

Yesterday called the daughter at the hospital....Mind you she was discharged from the hospital Thursday or Friday, so keep that in mind.

Anyway, she told me they weren't going to be serving her any food while she stayed there. Since she is discharged and not breast feeding no food.

Now if it wasnt for the school, she would be breastfeeding. Yet the school apparently doesnt want breastfeeding mom's at school. The one school doesnt even have a nurse's office.(Vocational Technology School)

Now if it was a matter of cost, then I'd pay it. Yet this wasnt offered either from the hospital. But yet if she should pass out due to lack of food, things could get worse.

I did take a care package to her. Not sure if she likes all that I did but its what I could afford.

I think if they are going to keep the baby, and Mom is staying til the baby comes home, why not add the extra food to a bill...to her or family at least she'd get food. Or set up something to where she or anyone in the same situation can go to a food pantry in the hospital, and cook. The food pantry could be like a donation place for those in the hospital in a similar situation while in the hospital.

Anyway, I was a bit annoyed since no one had informed her nor myself about this. Please let me know what your thoughts are on this and my ideas.

Thank you
Sincerely
Wolf_Angel

Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 13th, 2006, 11:42 AM   #229
Cod
Hooked on The OC!
 
Cod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,252
Wolf angel, I can understand why a hospital could not make food available for those not admitted. There are a lot of parents who stay. However, most hospitals have a cafeteria for that purpose, even vending machines. They usually have a wide variety, including sandwiches that aren't too expensive.
Cod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 13th, 2006, 05:16 PM   #230
IRISH_EYES_99
Member
 
IRISH_EYES_99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: in the state of confusion :)
Posts: 3,524
Wolf-Angel I have to agree with COD. The hospital's job is to take care of the patients not the visitors, even if it is the mom.

The cafeteria has reasonable priced food. Perhaps you can bring your daughter some of her favorite snack foods to have there.

Imagine how much the hospital would have to do if they were to feed family members that choose to stay at the hospital with their loved ones.



How could they possible set up a food pantry!!! If they did that it would take away from more important things that go on in a hospital/

Even the volunteers at a hospital are there to help out with patients, That is the main objective to get them well, and on their way.

Good luck to your daughter, baby, and all the other stuff going on in your life.
__________________
Smiles are contagious. It's ok to pass them on. *
IRISH_EYES_99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 13th, 2006, 08:12 PM   #231
Addie
Member
 
Addie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 436
I agree with all the above but want to add one thing. If it's a question of finances as opposed to convenience, your daughter (or you) should get in touch with the proper services. There are specific programs in certain states that are solely for the purpose of feeding mothers and children. Or there used to be, when we had a surplus. I have no idea if any of those programs are still intact. Is your daughter working with a social worker?

btw... it really isn't up to the hospital; it's the insurance companies. When my daughter was born I needed to stay in the hospital for a few days. The baby was allowed to stay with full care because I was ill. They told me (over 18 years ago) that had it been the other way around, I would have been discharged. So, that's just the way the insurance companies work.

I hope the baby is well enough to come home soon!!!
Addie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 14th, 2006, 12:05 PM   #232
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Ok

((((( Cod IRISH Addie )))))
Thanks for the replies! I know what you all mean...Yet wouldnt it be nice if someone informed the family about whatever since it could have a bad outcome? Just a thought. I know most of the people at the hospital is helping the patients. Just thought if there was something similar to Ronald McDonald house nearby it would help immensely. As far as the other resources, there aren't any forthcoming. Oh well. It was still good to get that out of my system. Thank you all for listening and giving good advice.
Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 14th, 2006, 04:16 PM   #233
Cod
Hooked on The OC!
 
Cod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,252
Wolf angel, I don't think most people who visit or stay with a hospitalized child expect to be served meals, so I don't think those facilities need to post a warning. Usually other family members make sure to bring something in for the parent who is staying at the hospital. I'm sure that if that was impossible, and the child was seriously ill, the hospital would find a way to help. Ronald McDonald Houses are for the parents and families of those children with serious illnesses. I would count my lucky stars NOT to have to take advantage of their generosity.

Since you posted that your little one is coming home, I would assume he's healthy enough to do so. I'd be very grateful to that hospital for his care.
Cod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 11th, 2006, 11:48 AM   #234
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Wink Two points to ponder

((((Roomies WOW's TF's))))))))

Hi hope all of you are doing great.

Now I have two points of interest for ya'll to ponder. First concerns my daughter then the second one is children of the world.

This past weekend went to my dad's house so he can see his new great grandson.

Well on the way down daughter was ticked off cause I told her that her room is second worse room for being dirty. She didnt like this yet it was in response to her claiming that my house is 'scummy'. Yet I am in the midst of redoing most of my rooms. Things aren't finished yet its clean.
However on Sunday morning, talking to my Dad about my jeans that I had on, not fitting anymore! YAY! He jokingly said get a pair like my daughter's which is tight. She blew up like a geyser. Became very disrespectful towards me which my Dad wont tolerate. Since what we were discussing was my jeans and kidding around, well I thought she didn't have any right to say anything, since she was apparently sleeping. If she had realized my Dad was joking, then she didnt have a reason to get upset over it. (IMO)

Now the thing I see going on lately with the stars from Hollywood. Tom Cruise to 50 cent the rapper, is that none of them realize what they are doing to a certain point. That what they are doing, per se flaunting the law or disrespecting it, is telling the children of the times to do so as well.
Now I know that its' up to the parents to help combat this. Yet it does leave an impression on the child. IF it was their child aka the stars, would they want someone to do this? Just a thought on that.

Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 11th, 2006, 08:42 PM   #235
Addie
Member
 
Addie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 436
I pondered, now I'm giving input.

Wolf-angel, one of the constants in your posts about family situations is that all of you are very defensive. You are all headstrong and so you butt heads.

If you look at your second "situation," you'll see that it's a learned behavior. Your father "won't tolerate," such and such, and I've seen you post about things that you "won't tolerate" as well.

The change is going to have to start with you. Your daughter isn't too old to learn how to handle situations differently and with any luck, your grandson won't ever see the heavy handed demanding at all.

That said, look at the first situation and imagine the difference with this response.

Your daughter says, "The house is scummy."

You respond with, "I'm sorry you feel that way. What do you think we can do to make it better?"

With this response you haven't reacted in a defensive way. You've validated the way she feels and you've made her a part of the solution. In short, you've given her no reason to continue her attack. No fight begins and the two of you share some ideas on how better to keep the house neat which also brings the two of you closer together.

Additionally, you'll notice that you refer to the house as yours, and state that you're redoing most of your rooms. Your daughter lives there too. Perhaps you need to be more inclusive. I'm not saying that she owns the house and can choose to paint it pink with green polka dots. Just that if you refer to the house and the rooms as "ours," she has more of an interest in working with you to achieve a common goal that is good for all of you.

As the older adult and the parent, you are going to have to lead the way to change. Stop feeling under attack. She's a combo platter of adult/teenager/hormones/hormones/hormones!

Work together and laugh and giggle along the way. It's a lot more fun, it will bring you closer, and life is just too damn short for so many battles.
Addie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 11th, 2006, 09:56 PM   #236
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Wink Good advice now ???

(((((((Addie))))))

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

I was forgetful on mentioning that I have done this is "our house and what is your ideas?"

She is of the nature to rule and dominate my house. Unfortunately that isnt going to happen. Not when I have done what I can to make her life better. Not perfect but did my best.

Needless to say, she is of the thinking I should do as she says and not vice versa. I have been dealing with this for over three years.

Really getting tired of the nonsense. She likes to point out your negative points but not the positive. Well if you are going to be targeting me, be prepared to get the same. This way its also a learning situation as well. Plus sometimes this allows me to point out how hurtful what she says is. Gives her food for thought now.

Now I must go....Thank you again!

Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 14th, 2006, 08:07 PM   #237
Cod
Hooked on The OC!
 
Cod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,252
Oh there is so much I want to say here. First of all, I just returned from staying with my son and his wife and their beautiful 3 week old son. Everything was cozy and harmonious and wonderful. Reading about your situation and thinking about what that little grandson of yours is already hearing and experiencing, makes me sad....and yes....angry.

You asked us to "ponder". Does that mean to just listen to what you have to endure, or are you asking for advice from us, such as Addie's well thought out post to you.

I'm just going to pick out one comment you made and tell you my feelings.

You said "She likes to point out your negative points but not the positive. Well if you are going to be targeting me, be prepared to get the same. This way its also a learning situation as well."

You are definitely right. This IS a learning situation. Your daughter is learning that mothers are not above petty arguing and lashing back at their child, whenever unkind words are said. The above statement makes me wonder how often *you* point out your daughter's positive points?

This is all going to take a lot of work on both your parts, but look into the face of that little boy and think about how you want him to grow up.

I, reluctantly, left my new grandson this morning, but I am so comfortable knowing that he is living in a peaceful, fun, loving, respectful home.

Believe me, it's worth working on Wolf Angel. It's everything!
Cod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2006, 11:34 AM   #238
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Wink Hmmm ok here goes

((((((Cod))))))

Thank you for your words as well.

Yes I do want some input. I do believe in positive reinforcement. I am very verbal on that about and towards my daughter. I dont want to be petty or lash out like you said. I want to do better than that.

I have told many ppl since the grandson has been born how well she is doing regarding him and school. Its' not easy doing it but she is!

Unfortunately, its' kind of hard to do that when she is hardly home. Then when she comes home, she is verbally abusive towards all of us. Not realizing that she leaves bad feelings and ill will on us.

I want to see my grandson grow up in a good way. Yet hard to do that when he is only here on limited time.

I asked the daughter to spend time with me. Mother daughter bonding....Yet she didnt. I cant talk to her unless I am taking her to the doctor's office and she is in the car with me.

Seems to me in my opinion I am only tolerated when its convenient to her. Well I have tried that. Yet when I asked her to do that Mother Daughter time she was the one not here.

Not sure what else to do or what kind of answers I will get....Yes I am sad and angry about all of this too...Thus seeing what replies I get to see if I am not seeing what I am doing wrong. To help turn this situation around.

Yet I will be firm on not being a target for her anymore. I am tired of being verbally abused by her when I havent done anything to her.

Many times I have bitten my tongue or just plain ignore what she is saying so I dont react like I normally would.

Hope this wasnt too offensive to anyone about discussing this on the boards. I apologize if it was. No I havent forgotten anything anyone has said on this. I have it bookmarked so I can re-read the posts. To remind me to check again.

Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 13th, 2006, 06:20 PM   #239
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Unhappy Yes I am!

Yep its one of those darn days.


Yet hope all of you
Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 21st, 2006, 12:32 AM   #240
Wolf_angel
A survivor of chaos
 
Wolf_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 3,147
Yes i am

For misunderstanding of others to what I had erred in referring to in chat tonight. Wasnt referring to anyone on here...just the daughter. Apologize to anyone who misunderstood.

I hope your wishes come true.


Have a great day!
__________________
May you walk in the shadow of the Great Spirit~To help others is a special gift we can either give or take~The more you give the more you receive~
Wolf_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Copyright ?1996-2008, Women Online Worldwide