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Old July 14th, 2001, 10:57 AM   #16
MistsOfSpring
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I'm impressed that so many have the courage to be out. I'm not a lesbian...I guess on that continuum from homosexality to heterosexuality I'm about 75% hetero and 25% homo, based upon curiousities that I've never actually followed up on yet.

A few years ago in teacher's college I participated in an action research project. My focus was on creating a classroom environment that was inclusive and welcoming to students regardless of sexual orientation. As I worked on this project, I gradually realized that I was in the closet about the work I was doing! I was so afraid that others would hold it against me that I wanted to create an inclusive classroom (even though inclusiveness and tolerance are required by the government) that I hid my work from the teachers that I was placed with. I learned a lot that year, I think.

I feel that only by having the courage to come out and be yourself no matter what can the stigma of homosexuality be ended, just as is true for mental illnesses or being a single parent or interracial relationships or anything else that is misunderstood or frequently frowned upon by society in general. Through being out, you aren't just creating a life that is more livable for yourself...you are helping to create a world in which the next generation won't have to hide so much. Thanks for making the world in to a place that I want to bring kids in to.
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Old July 14th, 2001, 02:33 PM   #17
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(((mistsofspring)))

thats perfect. already, the younger generations is feeling free to allow themselves to be more open & honest about who they are. the only drawback i can see to that is that so many ppl (gay & straight), insist that ppl should make up their minds, trying to force a line between the two worlds, leaving no room for ppl who are "bi". i think that all humans have the capacity to love anyone, regardless of gender, but that we find ourselves in situations that often place us more on one end of the spectrum than the other. personally, i welcome this upcoming group of teenagers, who are so willing to eschew labels & so ready to date whomever they are attracted to. i wish i had had that kind of freedom & courage when i was in high school. but, i also know that it stems from all of us older ppl who are "out" & creating enough visibility to show others that they are not the only ones in the world. i work in a restaurant that practically caters to teenagers. we have so many gay servers that the kids flock to our store just b/c they know they won't be harrassed or ridiculed. quite a difference from just ten yrs ago, let alone 50 yrs ago.
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Old July 14th, 2001, 08:50 PM   #18
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(((((Ladies))))) I know that being out at work can be hard.... I am glad that my most recent employer was very supportive when I told her and she still remains to be one of my very best friends I was very lucky on that but when I first came out can you believe that I was discriminated against by the "gay" world that surrounded me. They all thought of me as "bi" which was fine by me except with the fact that some "gay" people think that you can not be "bi" and "monogamous" at the same time, which I do not believe to be true at all.
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Old July 18th, 2001, 09:39 AM   #19
candygirl1030
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Being a lesbian to me goes way beyond sexual preference. It actually has nothing at all to do with sex for me. It has to do what is inside my heart. Thats where I think alot of the fear comes from when people aren't sure if they should come out of the closet at work. People who aren't gay tend to think it all has to do with sex. Which is sooo not true. It has to do with loving and choosing to share your life with someone who happens to be of the same sex as yourself. As for people who are bi...I agree that people can be bi but with that choice also comes a responsibility of being able to commit to one person male or female. I have been to gay bars where there are couples(male/female) actually scoping out the lesbians. You know that they are looking for someone for the female(its extremly obvious) and that is just not right. Just because a person is attracted to both sexes does not give them any special rights in relationships. I believe that if people would just put aside their fears and learn to be able to fall in love with a person whether it be male or female, life would be a lot better for a whole lot of people. I have learned that being with my partner is not because I just adore women but I am with her because she is the kind of person I have always wanted in my life...she is funny, sensitive, loving, affectionate, smart, hard working, and the list goes on. Education is the key to everything and I do believe that by the time that I see my grandchildren grow up that the gay community will have come a very long way.
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Old July 29th, 2001, 02:58 AM   #20
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Smile VERY Out At Work

Hello ladies!!! Well, my story is very much like Ayla's up there :-) My mom and I work at the same medical insurance company, and she had talked about me when a co-worker of hers asked her how she felt about homosexuals. She proudly said I love them, being that my daughter is a lesbian. I was very proud of her. I got hired in the company not even 6 months later, so everyone knew who I was when I showed up the first day. I live and work in a small town in Pennsylvania, so I was shocked to find that others supported me and would put up with no harrassment of any kind towards me. I joke around with my co-workers all the time and tell them that they are my truest girlfriends. LOL They are a very open-minded group of women, many of whom are over the age of 40. I feel VERY lucky to work with such supportive and tolerant people. They let me be myself and like me for who I am :-) It's a shame everyone knows me for my sexual preference, being I am one of only two lesbians who are out in the company, rather than for the job I do. But, I look at it as if I am out and who I am at work, that could help someone else feel secure in coming out and being themselves in the future. It's great to be yourself in EVERY aspect of your life, and I couldn't imagine living any other way :-)
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Old September 2nd, 2001, 01:43 AM   #21
Minty_Femme
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I have always been out in the past. I never really felt the need to hide who I am.
I was sexually harrassed when I was 18 by a male cook at a residental facility I worked in. I told him I was a lesbian but it didn't matter. Both of us would admire a really beautiful co-worker. I thought he understood but he didn't. I quit the job when I realized that no one was going to stand up for me.
Now I don't really know if I want to be open when I get a job in a new field of work. I am going to be working in the school district and I don't know how parents would re-act if they knew that their deaf son or daughter had a lesbian interpreting for them.
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Old September 20th, 2001, 09:59 AM   #22
Ayla
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coming out for the second time

Ok, my situation is that when I came out almost 4.5 years ago I came out as bisexual. This has been frowned upon by many of my lesbian and gay friends, but not at all by my straight friends. I can recall one of my lesbian friends telling me "you are the last woman on earth i'd ever expect to sleep with a man". I did not say i was Bi because it was "the easy way out" or anything like that, I said Bi because I did not believe I was Lesbian so if not lesbian, I must be Bi. In the mean time, I have solely dated women. I believed that regardless of my orientation, I could choose to focus on 1 gender, I did not need and i did not want both.

Now I find i'm coming out to myself once again. It has taken 4.5 years but I finally know that when I say i'm Bi I mean i'm Bi. I am not lesbian, I do find all people attractive and can not tell the difference between the genders because to me the plumbing is all the same. I am in the middle of making a few other changes too. As a result of this current enlightenment, my previous activity has been haulted. I am no longer looking for a mate, I am looking for friends. If one of those friends turns out to be the love of my life, lucky me. If not, well at least I know who I am and am proud to be me.

You are the first group i've been so candid with. My friends, family, and past loves all know that I claim to be Bi - they just don't know that i know that from the bottom of my heart.

It feels so good to finally say THIS IS ME!
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Old September 27th, 2001, 04:22 PM   #23
Minty_Femme
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Ayla, you have taken a big step to yourself and others. I know it isn't easy saying "I'm bi". I hope that you find a partner reguardless of who they are that makes you happy. Don't ever sell yourself short. I flet I didn't fit in anywhere when I said I was "Bi" when I was with men.
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Old October 26th, 2001, 12:02 PM   #24
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Well I have a funny story about comming out to a group of my friends.

I moved back to Indpls in 96 after leaving my husband. Through the years I had kept in touch with 6 girls I went to highschool with. We all would get together atleast once a month and have a 'girls night out'. Well I had came out to one of them already.. the other 5 had NO clue. We were all out at a str8 club one night.... dancing, drinking and having a good time. Well a black gentleman had asked me to dance.. it was a fast song so I was like sure.. no problem. Well after the dance I went back to my friends and the guy insisted on following me around the rest of the evening..lol. It was the ole' "Can I get your number"... "Lets go get some fresh air".... "Here, let me give you my pager number" routine. I was polite and said everything I could think of in turning him down without saying look buddy I am a lesbain!! LOL
Finally I was over it and was not so nice about it. He in turn developed an attitude and said.. "ohh ok.. I got your number.. I see what the problem REALLY is". I was pissed off by this point and asked.. "What is that? What is my problem". He replied.. "I am the wrong color". Well before I had time to think about it my mouth ran away with me and I yelled.... just as the song the DJ was playing ended.. "No pal.. wrong SEX!!!" Well needless to say he immediatly turned around and left me alone and you could have heard a pin drop in that bar! LOL!! My friend who knew was laughing so hard she about pissed her pants and my friends who did not know well were in complete shock! LOL! Not exactly the way I had planned on telling them but it worked!
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Old October 27th, 2001, 11:54 AM   #25
Minty_Femme
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((((((SCOOBY)))))) Funny how cute! Mine isn't an exactly "coming out to your friends" story per say but it does sorta kinda realte and it's almost as cute as your story. A couple of years ago a friend of mine from the class I was taking came home with me after we had done some class work. I had told her before we got to my house that the lady who was baby sitting Sallvie looks like a man but is a woman. When she actualy saw my friend she looked kinda funny. My firend left the house for a min and my class-mate asked "Are you sure she is a female?" I said "I should be I was married to her" My classmate wasn't freaked out as I thought she would be.
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Old March 11th, 2002, 10:20 AM   #26
Tala
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Smile Congradulations!

I am so happy for you both. I know what you mean about being yourself. That no one around you in your family or friends circles can understand what you mean. I am not either bi or a lesbian yet I understand what you are saying. I love it that you are able to express yourself and be proud of it. I love ppl regardless of their color race etc and their sexual choices. It dont matter if you are gay bi lesbian or str8 what matters is what is in your heart. I have been so blessed with ppl thru the years and now knowing you both has surely blessed me even more so. Much love and huggers
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Old March 11th, 2002, 10:23 AM   #27
Tala
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Smile Wow you amaze me

I just have to say those were some unique ways of letting ppl know. They were a riot! LOL So good of you both to share that with me. Knowing you both makes my life better. Much love and huggers
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Old March 11th, 2002, 10:34 AM   #28
Tala
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Smile Wow those are some amazing posts

Just wanted to tell you all that its the people like you those like me who are shaping this world to be what it can be. If everyone is afraid then we make other ppl afraid. Yet it only takes one person to say what is in their heart and soon enough you have others doing the same. Life is hard so why do we need to make it harder on ourselves by being in the proverbial closet? It dont matter what type of closet you are in but if you want to enjoy life more then step out of it. Be proud and happy for who you are. Those you cant accept you for who you are and not what you do has the problem we dont! I wanted to say that so you know that I have no ill feelings towards anyone except those who make me mad. LOL Much love and huggers
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Old October 3rd, 2003, 11:13 AM   #29
MintyFemme2
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Hey Ya'll if you have been wanting to go into chat for the first time I have a chat for ya! BouncyWOW will be hosting a special chat Oct 11 for national Coming Out Day. BouncyWOW would love to hear your stories , she also has some history behind Gay and Lesbian symbols many of us display proudly.
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Old February 26th, 2005, 01:18 PM   #30
sunflower
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Hello again everyone

As I said in a previous post I came out just over a year ago.

Although my Ex,sister and a few good friends know its not something I flaunt.

I have always been attracted to women as far back as I can remember anyway.

I know one thing for sure after I was sexually abused I had no use for men .

That changed somewhat when I met my future hubby. He was safe and how else do you have kids LOL

I really went through a rough time and being a Born again Christian and knowing what the Bible says about it had really confused me.

It really wasnt until I quit drinking 2 years now btw that I realized I wasnt happy not just with a man my life in general.

Through counseling and my women's AA group I came to see who I really am and its ok to be me.

I am alot happier knowing I can be myself even though in this small town it is frowned upon.

I have had a couple of relationships and even though they didn't last I have learned so much.

I am getting to the point now where I don't hide who I am and am still working on my faith.

It has been a journey for me but then so is life
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