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Old January 12th, 2001, 10:24 PM   #1
AuntieWOW
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Different in form and yet just as devastating as physical abuse.

Please share here.

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Old March 31st, 2001, 06:20 PM   #2
IRISH_EYES_99
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(((((Dot Wow)))) Hi to all I hope with all my heart that women realize that verbal and emotional abuse is not acceptable... It can be as devastating as physical abuse.... growing up I had both... please if you are going though it or have and need to talk about .... know that I care as well as so many others in here do.. remember ....
You can be strong, you are strong and you are a good person... NOBODY has the right to abuse you in any fashion... (((( hugs to all))) IRISH_EYES_99
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Old March 31st, 2001, 06:22 PM   #3
IRISH_EYES_99
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(((((Aunty WOW))))
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Old March 31st, 2001, 08:05 PM   #4
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((((((Irish))))))

That is so true. But sadly - and as you probably know - recognising that what is being done to you <b>is</b> emotional abuse (and not mere crabbiness) is one of the toughest tasks

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Old July 30th, 2001, 04:34 AM   #5
No_More_Attitude
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Post emotional abuse

Knowledge is power. Friendship may save a life...sometimes it boils down to explaining to a friend that they have rights.

Abuse saps a person of all their energy. Sometimes they get to the point of no longer caring. The saddest part is the emotional abuse can turn into physical abuse. The good news is if a person looks under crisis in the yellow pages, the domestic violence number is there. Even better is the fact that the number is open 24 hours per day.

There's no reason for it, no excuse for it, and no living with it because little by little, I think it kills. When repeatedly told you aren't any good, a person starts to believe it.

There are some great spokeswomen out there, but we need more. If we shout loud enough that it won't be tolerated, we might be heard. People in cities can form groups, we are no longer powerless.

Sorry, guess I got carried away! However, I agree, there is no excuse for it.

K.
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Old July 30th, 2001, 11:07 AM   #6
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To No More Attitude

You should submit an essay to <A HREF="http://www.wowwomen.com/tapestry">Tapestry</A>

<a HREF="mailto:tapestry@wowwomen.com">Click here to email Tapestry editor</A>
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Old August 2nd, 2001, 07:32 PM   #7
No_More_Attitude
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Post verbal abuse

(((LiamFan)))

Thank you for the idea. I've been working on an essay, but I haven't sent it in yet. I wrote it late last night...or early this morning, but I have yet to read it during the day time. I need to make sure it makes sense.

Thank you again for the suggestion.

To all of you out there {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

K.
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Old August 3rd, 2001, 05:06 PM   #8
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{{{No More Attitude}}}

You're welcome!

Take your time...I think August has been "put to bed," so you have time until September. :-)
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Old August 11th, 2001, 10:21 PM   #9
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Talking

I just popped in to see how everybody was. I'm doing well. I actually stood up for myself today and told somebody they were out of line!

I wasn't mean and the person apologized. To me, that's a step in the right direction I didn't even offer a smart remark. I suppose I actually acted like a normal person. It felt good.

Enjoy,
K.
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Old August 16th, 2001, 08:09 PM   #10
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(((creative_scrawl)))

That is the hardest thing to do.
The first time you stand up for yourself to somebody, and the sun still comes up.... the banks open and the world continues ( but better)
cuz it does!!

Way to go! (*(*(*(*(creative_scrawl)*)*)*)*)
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Old January 12th, 2002, 11:53 PM   #11
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Re: emotional abuse

I am new here and have been put through what they like to call "hel- in a hand basket". I am totally out of those situations now but I just thought that it was the give and take of realationships. It started with a family member that liked alcohol when I was a child-they were the parent. Then onto the first husband that pulled a gun on me and told me I wasn't leaving with my son in my arms. I was a cop at the time. Then the abusive fiance' that politely placed my body into a wall and told me he would kill himself if I left. That was when I started sticking up for myself by telling him I would check back in the morning to call the cops or ambulance if he needed it. Then last but not least the second ex-husband that went nuts and held me up by my throat in front of my children. That I think was the most terrifying that I felt. That was when I drew the line. Sought help and now I am living with a man that is great with me and my children. We talk-not yell. We discuss-not throw things or people. We communicate-not threaten our own lives or the lives around us. We love eachother as people should. We aren't eachothers property to do with as we like, we are individual people who love eachother and WANT to be together forever. It was weird when I first looked for help, it was hard but I am greatful to all of my friends and family that stood beside me. I just couldn't picture my kids doing that to someone they love when they get older.
And I didn't like it either. So I hope that if anyone is even remotely going through this they seek help whether it be thru family, friends, or professional advise. Hotlines are great.
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Old March 2nd, 2002, 11:19 PM   #12
MaKayla
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Unhappy feel trapped...

I'm in a pretty crappy relationship right now. I'm new to this site and was just looking for a place to talk. I guess a place where I don't have to be afraid to say what I feel. Everything feels so complicated right now. I read somewhere on this site how abusive relationships are draining. I think I'm past drained! It's not easy leaving though. I keep thinking I'll leave and every time I pack my bags (which I seriously have several times this past week) I just end up unpacking them once I think about everything else (bills, homelessness, ect). I feel stupid for staying and like I'll have these huge consequences if I leave.

Sorry folks I guess it was just last week when I realized most of what he was doing was abusive. I should have known and saw the signs but I kept excusing them. So now is it no longer just fighting with D but it's now me fighting with myself on whether I'm staying or going. So far I've told him I'm going (big mistake, more fighting).

Anyway I didn't even want to mention this much. I just wanted to introduce myself.

MaKayla
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Old March 3rd, 2002, 10:53 AM   #13
DLC55
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Hi MaKayla!

This is much easier to say than to do! Don't think of leaving, if that's where you are, as the end, think if it as a beginning.

One of the things I did was to start new traditions in our home when the kids were younger. It helped a lot for them and for me!

I too worried a great deal about financial things, but somehow, they just worked out. We made new friends, had potluck dinners around paydays when the cubbards were bare..and I mean bare! We all pooled our leftovers and had game night and had a blast!

If you want it to happen, it will. There will more than likely always be times that are rough, but they certainly beat staying in a relationship thats not fullfilling! At least for me it did

Welcome to WOW MaKayla!
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Old March 10th, 2002, 11:55 PM   #14
sally
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It took me 20 years to be sure it was 'violence', so don't feel bad

I have just discovered this site. What a breath of fresh air. I have seen nothing that addresses intimidation and emotional abuse in a forum style.
How do I begin? How does a person decide the way they're being treated is unacceptable? Particularly when it's a person you believe loves and cares for you who is the perpetrator.
It took a middling sort of crisis involving one of my children to see that I needed help from someone else.. and so my GP was the first person I ever told about the way my husband spoke to me, and treated me. From there, I was refered to a psychologist and DV unit where I found sympathy and empowerment. Practical information as to how to make the break.. and most importantly, recognition that the way I was feeling was very real and well-justified. I was told I'd been 'walking on egg shells' for 20 years.. Felt thick, for not acknowledging it myself .. but, how educated are we about this kind of violence? Not very .. and if it's compared with physical violence, it doesn't match up for many people.
It's 18 mths since I left.. and I am soooo happy!
My advice .. talk to others , especially those working in the area.. and mainly, be honest with yourself. KNOW you are important, and you deserve the best... and eventhough, as one writer said, things are difficult financially .. and legally, sometimes, at least you can wake up every day and be happy to face whatever comes, because you haven't also got the burden of someone looking over your shoulder, criticising, judging, accusing, etc.
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Old April 27th, 2002, 01:30 AM   #15
TeeTeeLyte
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Angry old employer avoids paying me

Last year my former employer laid me off stating that there were no funds available to pay me.
Since that time they have changed the name (twice), changer web servers (3 times) and are oerating on the Internet under a once-dissolved company name.
I find it hard to believe that there is no money to pay me since all coporate officers live in nice homes and drive new cars.
I have been displaced and unemployed for over a year, afraid to leave home and in fear for family and friends.
It is obvious that they have money, and more obvious that I have none.
Whatever they are doing (or making preparations to protect) is more vauable that the pittance of severance pay I should have received. This concept makes me afraid and nervous.
Where do I go? What can I do?
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