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Old January 1st, 2006, 09:50 PM   #31
lindarella52
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emotional and verbal abuse

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Originally posted by lindarella52
thank you irish eyes...no I am not placed here as a health care professional....this person is a friend of mine.....I have been caring for him and his mother because I care about them.....I am seeking help. I need to know how to respond when he is verbally abusive. I went away for awhile over the summer....as I said, leaving his mother who is 90 years old is the difficult part.....he is easy to leave. Thank you for your wise words...I plan to join a support group next week and change these patterns.
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Old January 4th, 2006, 05:25 PM   #32
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Wink Well good luck!

((((lindarella))))) ((((IRISH))))
Good to hear such wonderful news...
Lindarella Please listen to what Irish says. She is a knowledgable one and loving person. She only wishes the best for who may need it when she gives suggestions or advice. I trust her implicity. Love ya Irish

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Old January 4th, 2006, 05:45 PM   #33
lindarella52
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arriving at one goal ..is the staring point to another.

Thank you so much for your advice....I am working toward making some definate changes in my life....I once heard someone say.......I am only one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something......I will not refuse to do something I can do. Thank you......Willow and Irish...thank you.
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Old January 4th, 2006, 07:10 PM   #34
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Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Hang onto this belief and remember that a walk of a thousand miles (like his Salt March) begins with a single step.

Good luck. Keep us posted; let us know how you're doing.
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Old January 4th, 2006, 07:22 PM   #35
lindarella52
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no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.........Eleanor Roosevelt

Thanks Tango.......I will definately keep everyone posted. I am somebody.........I am me.
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Old January 4th, 2006, 07:33 PM   #36
lindarella52
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To dream of the person you would like to be...is to waste the person you are.

Quiet woman....yes, that is exactly the way it is.......you tend to think it is just crabbiness...and let it pass. But it is more than that........much, much more.
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Old January 15th, 2006, 09:43 PM   #37
lindarella52
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verbal and emotional abuse

For all of you out there...I have found a wonderful book..."The Verbally Abusive Relationship.....How to recognize it and How to Respond" by Patricia Evans. One of the statements she made in this book was..."He can say anything he wants....but she must realize that there is nothing heroic about staying around to hear it." Girls...don't let your spirits be broken. I truly believe that each of us has a little girl inside of her....she is a very important part of who we are. She is the one who allows us to be fun and sponteneous and silly. Don't lose your little girl...nurture her. God bless all of you.............Linda
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Old March 9th, 2006, 01:03 PM   #38
bct
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there is also silent violence..

which is unprovable cause it is done without words but gestures..i believe it is as strong as the verbal/physical one..in the end, all of them are affecting women to lose their self-esteem..i think we should find a way to stop 'implying-violence' too..like, i move my hand and you know what i 'mean'.
i dont need to hit you, cause i know you received the message..
like that..
bct
nice to find this website by the way..
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Old March 10th, 2006, 07:45 AM   #39
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silent violence and silence

mm..it seems i have a soliloquy..is ok.
maybe this is better. it lets me to write as i want.
i used to sit in a tea garden and watch people. istanbul is a big city with 17 million people. crowd lets people not to hide the instinctual behaviours.. most woman, interstingly, give way to man, cause they are 'big'..but big also means power. and power is the main source of violence of man against woman.
mm..ome of the main, let me say..and.. what i see in crowd is same in houses too. a small model of crowd in family..
and when women take this model into their relationships, i call it abuse.
woman-to-woman violence is like 'surpriseee !! i am like them toooo !!'
this is what i am interested in..why woman-lesbians-take the role model from society-crowd- and apply to its own ?
my father abuses me, i abuse my gf, my gf used to abuse her ex.....it goes on and on..and it comes to a point where there is no independency, no honesty but fears and needs..
i need to write a book. not working like that..ok.....
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Old March 10th, 2006, 05:46 PM   #40
lindarella52
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Re: silent violence and silence

Quote:
Originally posted by bct
mm..it seems i have a soliloquy..is ok.
maybe this is better. it lets me to write as i want.
i used to sit in a tea garden and watch people. istanbul is a big city with 17 million people. crowd lets people not to hide the instinctual behaviours.. most woman, interstingly, give way to man, cause they are 'big'..but big also means power. and power is the main source of violence of man against woman.
mm..ome of the main, let me say..and.. what i see in crowd is same in houses too. a small model of crowd in family..
and when women take this model into their relationships, i call it abuse.
woman-to-woman violence is like 'surpriseee !! i am like them toooo !!'
this is what i am interested in..why woman-lesbians-take the role model from society-crowd- and apply to its own ?
my father abuses me, i abuse my gf, my gf used to abuse her ex.....it goes on and on..and it comes to a point where there is no independency, no honesty but fears and needs..
i need to write a book. not working like that..ok.....
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Old March 10th, 2006, 06:00 PM   #41
lindarella52
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emotional and verbal abuse

to bct.......I don't really understand what you are trying to say. Maybe it is because you are not American and can't express yourself easily in my language? I do believe that sometimes women allow men to have power over them because they are bigger.....but sometimes I think it is because, as in my case......I don't understand why someone would even want to hurt another person and it begins to happen to you before you realize what is truly happening. As for Lesbians.....I don't really understand the reason behind same sex relationships.....I believe that God made us to be with the opposite sex.....man and woman were made for each other...but not to hurt each other. But I have seen alot of abuse even with people I know who are attracted to the same sex.........In my opinion......no one has the right to harm another person. Where are you from? I am from Florida, U.S.A.
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Old March 10th, 2006, 06:57 PM   #42
bct
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silent violence

hi lindarella,

i cant express myself in any-including my own- language ! lol
and about what you dont understand..it is also what i dont understand..exactly same i feel..why to hurt each other, why to need ? but some does..

remember, my subtitle is 'silent violence', under the title of verbal and emotional violence..sometimes, we may not even be aware of our own violence, but we just do..it can be calcified, and makes us blind..i call it self-blindness..

i wish i could write more, lindarella or perhaps chat about it..

and yes, as you said 'no one has the right to harm another person.'

i am from istanbul, turkey.
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Old March 17th, 2006, 06:43 PM   #43
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Thumbs up Abuse Survivors

Geneva 14

Just to give you a brief rundown of who am:

After a long and horrifying 4 years or so, I am back! I used to be a TF host. I had to drive to New York because my mom was sick and, in the interim, my dad got sick here in New Mexico. My mom died and 10 days later, on Thanksgiving Day, my dad died here. Here I was trying to arrange two funerals 2,500 miles apart, sell the house, call in an auctioneer etc. I was about to have a nervous breakdown.

I returned to New Mexico 12/26 only to find my caretaker had not cared for my pets (children), the house or the grounds. He was drinking in my house and there were beer cans all over. I was really depressed and the doctor gave me medicine that knocked me out. Lo and behold this "person" and I use the term very loosely, raped me. I was to get married last February in New York, and my fiancee' died. Half of my belongings were in cartons at his house. I just was at my wits end.

I sealed my bedroom and bathroom shut, lay on the couch for 2 years, got up to feed my "kids", used the guest bathroom and was sinking slowly into an abyss of no return.

Nut I am here to tell you today; I am in my bedroom, unpacking boxes, trying to get out more and when I awke each morning I thank God I made through the night and count my blessings for the coming day! I am starting to get back into my jewelry making and even sold "A Wedding In A Box" on EBAY!

So to you all I quote from a book I read each morning written for women entitled "Simple Abundance-A Daybook of Comfort and Joy:"

In a time lacking in truth and certainity and filled with anguish and despair, no woman should be shamefaced in attempting to give back to the world, through her work and her joys, a portion of it's lost heart." Written by Louise Bogan
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Old March 18th, 2006, 01:25 PM   #44
PoohsBigSister
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((((((((((((((Serenity))))))))))))))))))

Welcome Home!!!!

it's so very good to see you here!!
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Old March 19th, 2006, 05:09 PM   #45
Serenity
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Talking Great To Hear From You!

Pooh:

It was so wonderful to hear you welcome me back. Now if I could only get this new "high speed modem" to work I can join the chats! I have missed you all and with God's blessings I'll be back a newer and improved version!

Luv ya,

Serenity(Rose)
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