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Old January 12th, 2001, 06:57 PM   #1
QuietWOW
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This is a frequent topic of discussion in #LesbianSpace ... Is being a lesbian a choice one makes or are we born lesbians?
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Old February 27th, 2001, 06:25 AM   #2
Stophie
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Heterosexuality-Biology or Choice?

Now how many times has THAT been a topic of conversation?

Can any "STRAIGHT" person say that they made a conscience decision to be a Heterosexual? I didn't, I just am.

I'm straight not narrow-minded
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Old February 27th, 2001, 12:13 PM   #3
QuietWoman
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I'd agree, Stophie, that a decision to be heterosexual would be a lot harder to NOTICE than a decision to be gay. However I do have one friend who is married who would say just that.

And I consider that I chose to love women, simple as that
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Old February 27th, 2001, 04:26 PM   #4
Tammy
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There was a letter to the editor printed in the <A HREF="http://www.charlotte.com">Charlotte Observer</A> on this topic:

Quote:
I was saddened when I read Miles Christian Daniels'
Viewpoint column, "Hated for who I am" (Feb. 9). It's
another example of someone being deceived by the
homosexual lifestyle.

Equating homosexuality with race is an argument flawed
from the start and represents Mr. Daniels' attempt to
rationalize his "choice." Three times he asserts that
being homosexual is something he could not control. He
had no choice. Nothing could be further from the
truth.

Mr. Daniels' use of the term "sexual preference" in
describing his homosexuality in itself refutes his
argument. Webster defines preference as "the power or
opportunity of choosing. Synonym - see choice."
I haven't found a copy of "Hated for who I am" yet.. I missed it. The article itself is sort of irrelevent, to the argument against it though.

I wonder what the world would be like if we used Websters to define every word?
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Old February 27th, 2001, 05:03 PM   #5
kathe nichols
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hhmm, being straight myself, I can only speak from second and third-hand experience. My bestest-favoritest aunt is a lesbian. She struggled with it (and was very unhappy) for many years. I don't think she would consider it a choice, other than the choice to ignore what worked for her and be miserable, or accept it and be as happy as anybody who's "different" can be in this society.
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Old March 5th, 2001, 04:04 PM   #6
babyblue
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Smile Lesbian not by choice.

Well I would just like to say, that as much as I
don't like labels I am a lesbian. I would rather
say "I simply prefer women".
I didn't choose to be this way either. In fact as hard
as you all might find this to believe, I have been
like this from a right early age, like primary school age.
I felt there was something different about me
but I just didn't know what. When I came out to
my mother when I had come to terms with it myself,
she simply said to me that she already knew.
I didn't choose, I just seem to turn out this way
and now I have accepted it after many years of
struggle with myself as well as any other struggles
I encounter because of this I must say I am proud,
I am what I am.
Love has no gender.
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Old March 7th, 2001, 12:18 PM   #7
antiana
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{{{{{ All }}}}}<P>
{{{{{ BabyBlue }}}}}<P>
I am a Mom. My daughter came out over 4 yrs. ago. And I think we were both relieved. We cried and hugged. I just knew from little for her also. So genetics is my thought. She tried hard to date, men. And was miserable. I am just happy that my daughter is happy.
<P> But I worry like any Mom would about the dynamics of the relationship she is in. She and her partner have been together for over 4 years. I adore her partner, and hope they last a life time.<P>
For my daughter it was a choice to the outside world but for her it just was...
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Old March 10th, 2001, 07:40 AM   #8
babyblue
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Smile

Thank you for the hug.
I understand the relief you both must have felt.
It is a big relief to be able to "come out"
as they say. And an even bigger relief to be
accepted and allowed to get on with life.
It is also good to hear of parents supporting
there children in times like this. You are
bound to worry about your daughter, a good
mum would and does. Best wishes to you and your
daughter.
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Old March 10th, 2001, 06:12 PM   #9
QuietWoman
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((((((Babyblue))))))

((((((anitana)))))) Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful Mom.

How about this then - why do we care whether it's biology or choice? Why does that matter?

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Old March 12th, 2001, 09:27 AM   #10
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Good question, Quiet..

I think the topic tends to get more discussion among those who are looking to assign "blame" for it. I've never noticed it being a real heated discussion topic among people who are more accepting.. like here.

I mean, really.. how often have to come across a gay man or a lesbian, who is beyond the point of just coming out to themselves, that is just pacing the floor and demanding the answer to that question.

It seems to me that the most discussion and the biggest need for an answer is among those who are not the most accepting of homosexuals.. overly religious "reparative therapy" folk, for example.. and those that think that if they can identify what causes "it" then they can understand or prevent or change it.

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Old March 13th, 2001, 05:40 AM   #11
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My earlier post regarding whether Heterosexuality was a choice stems from a conversation I attempted to have with my mother and baby sis. They are condemning of homosexuality as being a sin against God and Nature or whatever. I grew up Fundamental Bapt if that tells you anything. The convo stems from my family's inability to understand why I am so accepting of homosexuality. I have many gay friends, most of my staff is gay, and I have gone to gay bars on occasion. When my sister insisted that it is a CHOICE, I posed this to her: "Essentially, what you are telling me is YOU made a CONSCIENCE decision to be heterosexual. You weren't born one way or another, so you decided that you wanted to be a heterosexual as opposed to being a homosexual." Needless to say, she nor my mom liked that and the conversation immediately abrupted. My saying "I'm straight, not narrow-minded" is from a T-shirt my friend Frank got me a long time ago and became cliche so to speak of our own when I would hang out with him and go to the clubs with him.
Tammy is right...the only people who TRULY care if it is biology or choice other than those not accepting it of themselves, are the people who don't understand,...and the scientists/researchers making their money and getting their grants for work to isolate the "Homosexual Gene".
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Old March 14th, 2001, 11:12 AM   #12
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Question Hmm..

I wonder what happens if you turn it around. Instead of arguing that a straight person chooses to be heterosexual, argue that they <I>could choose</I> to be homosexual.

If one were to concede (for the sake of argument) that it is choice and not biology, then along with that concession comes the point that <I>anyone</I> can make that choice.

Using that perspective, I wonder how many straight people would admit that they have the ability to choose to be homosexual.

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Old March 15th, 2001, 07:17 AM   #13
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EXACTLY!!!!
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Old March 15th, 2001, 09:53 AM   #14
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Please see my post above

Yeah, and of course the argument that this is biology gives bigots lotsa room, that's a part of why I resist the biological explanation, I think.
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Old March 15th, 2001, 04:25 PM   #15
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The one about why do we care?

Personally, I don't. I just like talkin' to y'all and this topic is as good as any
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