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Old June 7th, 2005, 07:09 PM   #31
MintyFemme2
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talk to some one. talk to an older relative, a school counselor, your pastor ect or anyone who you can trust. I don't want to make matters worse but is your cycle late? If your cycle is late you might need to get a pregnancy test.
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Old June 7th, 2005, 07:22 PM   #32
Cod
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Sorry, I misread that to mean, she didn't know how to advise you.

I don't know your relationship with her, but...I'm a mother. I would hope if my daughter was hurt in any way or troubled, she would know that I'd be there to help her.

However, if that's not something you can do, listen to Minty's suggestion that you see a doctor. They can give you information on where to get help with all of this.
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Old June 7th, 2005, 09:23 PM   #33
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One thing I would recommend you do is to see your doctor about screening and testing for sexually transmitted diseases. Even if he wore a condom, that doesn't protect against human papillomavirus, a very common infection which has been identified as one of the leading causes of cervical cancer.

I'm not saying this to scare you -- I was in a very similar situation myself at 18. Like you, I went through self-blame, self-doubt, guilt, and humiliation.

I'm 35 now and one of my biggest regrets in life is not having told anyone at the time and not ever having pressed charges.

If you need to speak to someone about this -- in strictest confidence -- please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline toll-free in the United States at 1-800-656-4673.

Look in your phone book for a distress/crisis line number or for the number for your sexual assault centre. Volunteers are trained to deal with situations such as yours in a supportive, non-judgmental and compassionate manner.
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Old June 7th, 2005, 10:36 PM   #34
IRISH_EYES_99
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paytonfly, Get some help. Tell mom she won't be happy, my guess is she will stand by you. Mom's tend to do that.

See a doctor.. you need to be checked for STD's .. and if a condom wasn't used or you're not sure..check for pregnancy.

I know at 16 your scared. But you need to know that there is help for you.
You needn't feel guilty. You said no, and even if you didn't and told him to stop.. he should have stopped.

Talk to your mom, I would want to know if it were my daughter. Please talk to someone you feel you can trust.

Good luck.
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Old April 20th, 2006, 05:15 PM   #35
bellneke
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Hello, I recently finished my autobiography. I would love to share it here with others. If you would like to view for free online; it is self-published. Just email me back. Any support is greatly welcome. For I have yet to find any, except in the pages of my book.

I am a survivor of incest. And currently strategizing to flee a 7 year domestic violent relationship.
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Old April 20th, 2006, 11:36 PM   #36
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Wink Way to go!

((((((((bellneke))))

Good for you to do that book. As well as planning your exit out of that relationship. Just know we are here anytime. Post or come into the chats. Very good listeners there I know for a fact. Hope you are safe and warm. Wish you the best!

Have a great day!
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Old April 20th, 2006, 11:53 PM   #37
IRISH_EYES_99
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bellenke, Wishing you a healthy relationship. Being a victim of incest, and then in an abusive relationship I hope you are ready for your next step.

Your next step should be counseling. Check with your local hospital and find out if they have a group you could join.

Sometimes sharing with others in a similar situation you don't feel so alone. Strength in numbers, Courage to find out about yourself.

Realizing that what you experienced is NOT your fault. Wishing you understanding. Good luck.


Welcome to WOW a great place.
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Old September 6th, 2008, 01:47 PM   #38
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Hello I am JoAnna. I am in need of some support. You see I was raped back in Aug. I found out I was pregnant. My GF and I along with my kids decided we were going to keep the baby. Last week I felt really ill and was bleeding heavy. I went to doc and I lost the baby. They kept the fetus to do dna test for the police. I am so mad, and hurt and confused. I have faith that the dallas police will get this SOB and put him where he belongs. I just can't seem to get past this, the rape then finding out I am pregnant and then excepting it and made the decision to keep the baby, then I lose the baby. I am stuck I don't know how to move forward. My doc says to give it time, but I am having such a hard time right now. Anyone have any advice on how I move on. What do I do from here??
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Old September 6th, 2008, 03:14 PM   #39
IRISH_EYES_99
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? Where did you have the miscarriage? A few weeks the fetus is not formed? Can they really do a DNA? Don't mean to put you down. But you see I have had 2 miscarriages one at 4 weeks, the other at 5 1/2 months.

My oldest daughter also had a miscarriage a few yrs back. She was hurt and very sad. What an ans she gave me though.

"Mom, that baby had a place to be. It wasn't meant to stay with me. Maybe God wanted me to realize how blessed we are to have the children we do. Our children are blessings in every way."

My response to her .. " You have a special angel in Heaven watching over you & your family."

Whether or not you believe in God, a Higher Being, or nothing. There are times we need closer to things in our lives that we have no control over.

We have no ans to why some have miscarriages, or some have still borns, others yet that have babies born to lose them within mins, or hrs or days. We just know it happens.


JoAnna, Sincerely hope that you are able to get some help though couseling. Glad that you have your g/f to get though all this.
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Old September 6th, 2008, 05:36 PM   #40
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Well according to my obgyn I was 5 weeks. Accordingto the doctor's at the hospital they can get DNA. To put the SOB who did this away in prison where he belongs. I was under the impression I could get some support in this room. But you know what never mind....................
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Old September 6th, 2008, 08:30 PM   #41
IRISH_EYES_99
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You want support, You've gotten it. Now you say you lost the baby at 5 weeks ????? You're original report here said you were raped Aug 7. Sept 7 is tomorrow. There is a discrepancy in your time frame.

As I said hope your counselor will help you bring closer.

Rape is a very serious crime against women. Never ever something that should be condonned. Never ever something that has a question, or pointing the finger at, or made a false statement on.

Not saying that your's is false, just making a notation on how I feel about something so serious.


Sadly there have been to many times a false report has been made. When people do that they take away believability of others. That's just plain wrong.


Just as you are entitled to your opinion, I am to mine.

My support for roomies here is unquestionable. If you feel differently so be it.
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Old September 6th, 2008, 09:03 PM   #42
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I have been pregnant three times. The first child I was able to carry 8 months and then started bleeding heavily. The second I had to convince the dr. I was pregnant, because I knew I would need a D & C, the third child I lost at 5 months again from the heavy bleeding. For some unknown reason the placenta kept separating from the uterus putting me and the baby in life threatening danger.

I too was angry and upset but then I had to realized that the miscarriages were because there was something wrong with me or the babies. I strongly believe that Mother Nature takes care of her own.

JoJo I am sorry you did not receive the support you were looking for, each of us handles situations differently. Right now you are so full of anger but we know that comes from the rape as well as the miscarriage. Keep talking to your SO and doctor and I do wish you the very best.

Last edited by kraftykid; September 6th, 2008 at 09:05 PM. Reason: sentence structure
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Old September 6th, 2008, 10:44 PM   #43
NotcrazyJoJo
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Just because I entered in a wrong date does mean it is a lie. I did not even realize it said 7 till I read your post. It was Aug. 1 which put me at starting my 5th week. I would never make a false report on something like that. I have never or would I ever make something so horrible up. That would be twisted to do. But yes thanks for the support kraftykid. It has been hell but I know I am a strong person and somehow I will find myself on the other side of this hell.
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Old December 20th, 2008, 09:42 AM   #44
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I am crying on my keyboard looking for advice i dont realy want to see a someone for couseling as thie first time didnt go well... I had a long term "incident" i wont say i was raped i hate that lable i dont know what it was.. i mean i didnt say no i couldnt not when someone says its what every1 want from a girl thats what we are made for or so i was told.. but i was, used, was a about 6 years ago by my Godfather who was my gardian at the time.. i loved him like a father as thats what he was to me my protector and carer... i let it go on for too long untill i started to go crazy i finaly told someone my best friend adn then my sister, they didnt belive me they told all my old friends and most of my family. He made them belive i was crazy/insane and i sometime even doubt myself i mean i was young but.. anyway i well, i dont need to get in to it all in detail i just wanted to say sometimes bad stuff happend in life and you cry out and noone hears you BUT that dosnt mean you stop you need to find someone to talk to, the first time i went to a counciler i wasnt 13 and i never told her what happend it was a secret but i gave hints hopeing she would ask me if i needed help.. i later found out she called HIM and told him i was acting out due to my mother leaving me.. lol what a joke... anyway what i am trying to say is that for a time i gave up but in the last few years i found someone well a few people realy how have helped me move on and.. god this just goes on and on sorry girls i am just typing to get it out if i go back and read it i will hit delete and i just want to say it to someone... IF you ever had something like this happen to you and every1 said you werea lier and didnt belive you and cast you out.. DONT give up. There are people out there who can help you just have to look for them and dont be afraid to tell people... tell any1 untill someone listerns and once that happend you can start to live again...

Okey that it i guess sorry if it was a biut all over the place i just.. well we all get that feling inside when you have to get something out befor you explode and this was one of them for me.

If you a mother, a sister or a friend and you think something is wrong dont wait untill the victome tells you ask, god if someone just asked me... anyway... god i feel better geting that off my chest thank you

ps sorry for all the spelling mistakes i am not goin to read this b4 i post it i havnt the guts

K
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Old December 31st, 2008, 10:29 AM   #45
QuietWoman
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(((((((((Kattern))))))))))) You have oodles of guts honey - thank you for posting this. Do look for someone to talk with, when you can. Most of them are great and not idiots who break confidence -truly.

There are services where you can contact someone over the phone, you never have to tell them your name and you can hang up when you want. That can make it a lot easier to start sorting through the rubbish you're left with after your godfather hurt you in this terrible way. None of it was your faurlt, you were only young, and you deserve to have support and freedom from pain.

Assuming you are in the US then RAINN is a good place to start finding a confidential service http://www.rainn.org/.

Much love hon,

Q xxx.
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