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Old October 24th, 2003, 04:08 PM   #16
IRISH_EYES_99
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Perspective from one with adult children.. that been there, done that
With my children ( there were 3 ) Each one was totally different and their dating occurred at different stages.
The oldest I knew from first grade that communication had to be established with the truth. (she came home from school went upstairs, brought down a "pad" and proceeded to ask questions.) Eeeeek.. Well, I did have that discussion. After (6yrs old mind you) she said," thanks for being honest with me." Seems her friend in school had an older sister that had just started with her period. Then the same year.. she came home from school and told me," You know mom you don't have to be married to have a baby." another Oh no here we go again..lol.. .. Well, no you don't but isn't it better to have daddy around. ok >>>
When she started dating, group at first and then on their own.. ( Keep in mind, Groups!!! tend to pair off at times. (G).) We had the "talk" about waiting.. about precautions the whole nine yards..
The younger daughter didn't want to hear the talk .. she was and is my quiet ( like her dad) one. But we did talk eventually..when she was ready..
NOW ... My son (Ahhhh) We had the "talk" several times along with his friends. Once a month we had our "We need to talk episode." rofl.. 2 of his friends became fathers at a young age. My son recently said to me " See mom, I listened. rofl Their dad is a quiet guy who wasn't sure on how to give the "talk" . So quiet, shy, retiring me was left with the fun job.. And I'd be damned if I were going to give my mom's only speech which was.. All good things are worth waiting for.. (What good things? (G)) I did add that to mine after the main talk was through. You will survive this period of life .. mine are 32, 25, 24years of age and well adjusted.. wonder about the mom being adjusted though. (WEG}

OK Just retired from the school system.. I know a lot of kids are more "active" than others they need the right info not just handed a condom and told it's ok to go "play". They need to know responsibilities and consequences.

btw .. I was very upfront with them about my growing up time. What life was really like and not. The we grew up and everyone was a Saint time. of course I was ( see my halo ). rofl Good luck to each of you.. This too will pass.
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Old March 4th, 2004, 02:15 PM   #17
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I guess it will pass one way or another. Might be me passing lol. Son is now 14 and seems to be losing his mind. All of the moral decisions I used to be sure he'd make, now I'm not so sure. He has made some choices recently that I've wanted to slap him upside the head and ground him till he was 21 for, but I can't. If they can't experience life here when I'm able to help him deal with it, he'll experience it when he's out of the house and have no one to help him understand what happened and why. In the past 7 days he got cut from the highschool baseball team and dumped by his girlfriend of 6 months. He was reeling for a few of days, I felt for him. But I've also found out that he's still hanging with some kids that he said he wasn't anymore. Ones that seem hell bent on getting him high. They've said as much to him. I know that it never went well with my mother and I when she tried to get me to stop being friends with certain individuals, so I've never tried with him. How do you get them to understand that the friends you choose to impact your life and your choices? Do they understand anything at 14?
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Old March 4th, 2004, 02:35 PM   #18
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((((Cinder)))) I wish I could help Hon, but I was luck with my 2 older ones and never had these problems. Trust me my son did some stuff that pushed my buttons at that age. I wish you well. I'd love to say it'll get better soon but... mind took about 10 years to get better!
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Old March 4th, 2004, 06:01 PM   #19
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{{{{{{{{{Cinderellen}}}}}}}}}

I hear ya . If your a Christian then pray pray pray thats all I can do.

Other than slapping them upside LOL good one .

Since my daughter is going to be 13 soon I can relate. As for friends some are good some are iffy but I never tell her she can't hang out with them .
First of all its not the kids fault if there homelife is a bit mixed up.
( btdt ) And I encourage her to bring her friends here so we can get to know them a bit.I have found from my own childhood kids will do the oppisite of what their parents tell them.
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Old March 5th, 2004, 12:34 AM   #20
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(Just a little aside, and not to start an argument, but Christians aren't the only ones who pray...)

Good luck, Cinderellen...I hope everything works out. Hopefully, the morals you've instilled will guide him when these kids are trying to influence him.
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Old March 5th, 2004, 09:43 AM   #21
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Amen to that Liam..
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Old March 5th, 2004, 11:04 PM   #22
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Of course Christians aren't the only ones that pray .

I stand corrected please accept my apologies.
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Old March 9th, 2004, 07:22 PM   #23
Miel del Cielo
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Unhappy Teenager out of control

Any suggestions on how to disciple teenagers out of control.
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Old November 23rd, 2004, 10:42 AM   #24
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Oh my gosh... My daughter turns "teen" in 18 days.... I've already lost the phone...the minute she gets home she's asking if she can call someone... hello...don't they talk to each other at SCHOOL???? jeez! All in all, she is a great kid and makes GREAT choices (that I can see). We'll see if we continue on that path as the hormones kick in...

LOL!
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Old November 23rd, 2004, 12:22 PM   #25
IRISH_EYES_99
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((((((PBS))))))))))))
good luck whewwwwww!!! Limitations!! Set a timer for the amount of time allocated for the phone.

Telling them they can't hang with certain people doesn't always work. They meet at the designated place.

The thing I did tell mine was this.
" Not telling you you can't be friends with x. What I am telling YOU is that if anything goes wrong. YOU are responsible for your own actions. Should you get in trouble. Best be assured what you have to deal with the law won't be nearly as tough as dealing with me." "YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for YOUR ACTIONS>"

Luckily for me they believed me and knock wood they are fine. What the kids need to know is ..
When they know something is "going on" "going down" they need to know when to " take a walk Before things happen. As I told mine. Blame me say I'm a "mean mom".Tell them you have to be home earlier than you do. Never questioned them coming home early. ( WAs glad to see them) They didn't have to tell me everything that was happening .. They needed to know how to handle getting away from friends

It took them time to realize who were real friends. They did. They also earned respect by not passing judgement on the other kids.

Having them brings their friends to your home helps everyone. Sitting down with them and getting to know them is priceless.

Good luck to each of the parents out there. The kids grow up, we get grey hairs.
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Old December 2nd, 2004, 05:28 PM   #26
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Have you ever heard the expression that raising teenagers is like trying to nail jell-o to a tree?

As a mom who has finished with teen age kid raising, I thought that was a hoot. Adult kids can be just as elusive!
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Old December 2nd, 2004, 05:52 PM   #27
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ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are the best!
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Old January 15th, 2007, 11:27 AM   #28
PoohsBigSister
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Love & Logic Parenting

Have any of you heard of the "Love and Logic Institute"? They are based here in Colorado (NO, NOT FAMILY VALUES).

We (Lance and I) are looking to go to some parenting classes and this one is being offered in the town I live in. I was wondering if anyone had every used this method to assist in parenting??

thanks!
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Old January 15th, 2007, 02:20 PM   #29
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Talking LOL

(((((((Brede IRISH PBS Minty Rusty Cinderellen sunflower crazymomma LiamFan Miel del Cielo)))))))

Brede you said it! LOL

I just dropping a line to let all of you know that life is crazy and its getting more chaotic. So anything that can help your children and yourselves do it.

PBS No I havent heard of it but if it works Great!

Have a great day!
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Old January 15th, 2007, 08:49 PM   #30
IRISH_EYES_99
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((((((((((((((((( PBS )))))))))))))))))))))), Go for it. If it helps great. Congrats to you on wanting to and working at doing the right thing. Good luck all around.
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