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Old June 25th, 2003, 12:36 PM   #16
Karin
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Quote:
Originally posted by AuntieWOW
[BThey cared you and raised you. Now it's your turn to do the same for them. But you just finished raising your own children. Are you ready to take on the responsibility of caring for an ailing, aging parent? [/b]
..........
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Old July 18th, 2003, 09:50 AM   #17
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Not growing up close to my parents. Who would have thought that caring for them would fall to me and my sister.

When my Mom had her car accident last year it fell on my sister and I to look after Dad. I had no idea what that envoled and what my Mom went through.

I find it very hard to look after them and my own family but what other choice do I have. If we don't look after them who will. At times I get resentful then I feel guilty. But isn't that what family is for. My Dad looked after his Mom for years so maybe thats why we feel we have to look after our parents.

I know they don't have many years left so I am trying to make up for lost time. I just wish I didn't feel like it is a burden sometimes.
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Old September 21st, 2004, 03:51 PM   #18
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If anyone is interested, or in the same situation, I'd love to get this forum going again.
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Old October 31st, 2004, 11:26 AM   #19
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Good idea, brede. How are things going with Dad?
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Old October 31st, 2004, 09:49 PM   #20
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Pretty well. He's been here for a week and yesterday Greg and I spent most of the day cleaning and fixing up the furniture we bought or gave to him. Today, Greg and Dad moved things to the fancy retirement resort he will live in. Tomorrow, I will take him over there in the morning, and he will be assigned a resident volunteer who will give him his orientation tour. This volunteer will also introduce him to people, get him signed up for any clubs he wants to join and make sure he doesnt' hide out in his apartment. I will go back over in the afternoon to keep him company and help him with his transition. The more time he is over there the more he likes it.

He keeps asking what he owes us, and we keep telling him nothing. Every thing we've given him is his, with four exceptions: my teak floor lamp, my two teak dining room chairs and a work table that he is temporarily using for a desk/dining room table. We gave him a 3 piece black leather living room set, found him a set of 3 end tables and a lamp for $35, gave him an older dresser, night stand, bedside lamp, an extra chair, silver ware, glasses, a new tv and a bunch of other stuff.

Before he left Virginia, Bruce and Linda (who had already robbed him blind) demanded $4,000 from him. It was basically black mail. If you don't give us the money, we will never speak to you again. They sold everything he owned, including all of Mom's things and his own personal things. He cries when he looks for something and can't find it.

He is doing well physically, but I have already set him up with a round of needed doctor appointments. Can you believe that Bruce and Linda never had him see a neurologist after he had brain surgery? At this point and for some time in the future, I better not be placed in a face to face situation with them. I refuse to speak to either of them on the phone.

Overall, Dad is doing much better. He's been reading Sherlock Holmes books and the dogs have recognized that he is fragile and needs to be treated with care. Those puppy-monsters amaze me.

Thanks so much for asking!
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Old November 1st, 2004, 03:40 AM   #21
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(((((((((((BREDE)))))))) I am so sorry you have had such ahard time. I am glad that you are helping your father. The only thing I can say is every family has a greedy perso. When my mother died my older sister was the greedy one. She would call me everyday demanding that I get electrronic stuff that my mother and her partner bought together. My ex partner finaly had enough and told her to back off. I wish you well and am so glad you stood up for your father's rights.
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Old November 1st, 2004, 03:41 PM   #22
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(((((((( brede )))))))))))))))
You will have more than your sister. Maybe not in worldly goods, rather in your heart. Bless you for all that you do for your dad.
Sometimes when people react the way your sister did there is a reason. YOu may not know the reason, most likely she may not even know the reason.

Do what you feel is important for your dad and for you.

Glad your dad is accepting the place and people it sounds great.

good luck.

(((((Minty and all )))))))))))))
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Old November 13th, 2004, 07:19 PM   #23
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Thanks everyone. Getting Dad here and then settled into his new apartment has just taken up all my time. We had enough furniture that we weren't really using to almost completely furnish his apartment. He is living at a retirement resort. Included in his rent are 3 meals a day, linen service, cleaning at least once a week (more if it is needed), deep cleaning once a month, chaufeur service,cable, all utilities and more activities than you can shake a stick at. They have an outdoor heated pool, a lovely gazebo sitting garden, a computer club that includes on line access, and a complete wood working shop.

I wanna live there!!!!!

Dad and I get together two or three times during the week (all day), went to dinner with him there on Veterans Day, and we have a permanent Saturday all day date.

My brother in law and his wife were in the process of having him declared mentally incompetent. I already had Dr. appts. scheduled for him before he got her. Bruce & Linda had out and out lied to the doctors by telling them that Dad had dementia and was an alcoholic. They somehow had a doctor in VA that wrote a letter stating that he had a confirmed diagnosis of dementia and alcoholism. Well, he had an appt with my neurologist on Firday who gave him a clean bill of health. No dementia, recovering extremely well from a severe head injury and no alcoholism. The very next day (at 6 am) Linda called to find out what the doctor said. She has never done that before and Dad couldn't understand why. I know why, I have a copy of all his medical records. She is now waiting for me to drop kick her into an unhealthy dimension. I will never discuss it with her unless she brings it up.

Even though the urge to say "I told you so" is very strong! LOL!

I am so happy he is here and he is such a wonderful man. They sold, literally, everything he owned except his clothes. He has nothing. But we've fixed all that and will be giving him original art work from Greg and I, and 2 prints Bruce had made, but never showed Dad.

Life is good where Dad is concerned.

Thanks for all the support, and I hope we can keep this folder moving along.
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Old July 10th, 2008, 12:15 AM   #24
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CAB, maybe I've missed something here but it sounds like your mom is taking advantage of you. Is she ill or is unble to do for herself and your dad? If not, then stop doing all herwork for her - you don't owe her that much. That may sound harsh. I loved my mother more than life and would do anything for her and my dad as they did so much for me over the years. I could never have paid them back so I did all that I could (as much as they would let me). They were very self-sufficient even up until they passed away.

What has caused your mother to just lay around and do nothing?
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Old July 10th, 2008, 12:20 AM   #25
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The good thing about senior citizens in Florida is that there are many services available to them that aren't in other states as so many retire down here. There are all kinds of retirement comunities, trailer partks, homes and they are all over Florida.

There is a town in Mississippi that is nothing but senior citizens. They check on each other every morning and prices are geared toward retirement incomes. I knew a lady who lived there.
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Old July 10th, 2008, 12:24 AM   #26
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CAB, maybe I've missed something here but it sounds like your mom is taking advantage of you. Is she ill or is unble to do for herself and your dad? If not, then stop doing all herwork for her - you don't owe her that much. That may sound harsh. I loved my mother more than life and would do anything for her and my dad as they did so much for me over the years. I could never have paid them back so I did all that I could (as much as they would let me). They were very self-sufficient even up until they passed away.

What has caused your mother to just lay around and do nothing?
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Old July 12th, 2008, 07:52 PM   #27
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((((* rosanehowe ))))),(((CAB))) lost her mom a few yrs ago.* That post was from 2001.** Just a note somethimes especially as people age they get depressed.* If it's not caught & treated it gets worse.* That could be were the staying in bed came from.* If you have elderly parents make sure they get to the dr's. That everything gets checked out.** Make sure you do it for yourself as well.* When you don't take the time to get wellness checkups it ends up wrecking havok* & causing more stress.*** Sorry, your post made me think. Some things are avoidable.** Don't put off getting checkups because you "feel fine".* Oh just a little tired it's age!! NO! it needs to be checked. Do it for you.* Do it for your loved ones. I know a lot of times they don't want to go to the dr's. In their time most things were treated at home, home remedies. (((((((((( CAB & her family))))))))) (((((((( hugs for all. We all need them time to time ))))))))))

Steps off of now. Leaves chocolates and good thoughts for all.
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Last edited by IRISH_EYES_99; July 12th, 2008 at 07:57 PM. Reason: Had to add, and do some corrections. Not as young as I used to be, nor as old as I'm going to be. :)
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