pornography, mismatched sexual desire and relationships

January 3rd, 2009, 07:18 AM

Hi All...
My first post...I am feeling welcomed by the support ive sensed in the threads Im reading.

I'm interested in thoughts and experiences related to this situation...

Ive been in a relationship for over four years. I was aware that my partner was less experienced or 'tuned in' to womens needs when we first got together and waited much longer than I was used to to orgasm- the first 6 months was about him until I got the courage up to communicate it and do something about it.

He has always been uncomfortable with me initiating sex and I have given him the space he has asked for- and not initiated sex, however I am no longer comfotable with this arrangement. He likes to receive oral sex but will not reciprocate so I dont give it to him anymore. During my recent pregnancy I explained to him that I was feeling an increased desire to have sex, he responded that he was uncomfortable having sex with me being heavily pregnant. We therefore has sex about once every 3 weeks.

I am increasingly feeling unwilling to accomodate all his sex issues and am becoming the queen of passive aggressive attitude! Or maybe its called sexual frustration (lol) but its feeling very unbalanced. What makes my blood boil is that since having our child we are having sex approximately ever 3 weeks ( I expressed to him 2-3 times a week was my wish but negotiable to 1-2 times a week) and its not even close. He has a small porn collection which I am aware he is using weekly/fortnightly and looks keenly at other women. He doesnt get it when i bring this stuff up (or doesnt want to) and his response makes me wonder if im a sex crazed maniac ( I know im not).

SO Im wondering what this is about. His own sexual insecurity, lack of insight and his total ignorance.

February 24th, 2009, 11:53 AM

Hello,
I have experienc in this kind of behavior, it seems he has a issue and its called Compulsive Sexual Behavior, if you dont know what that is google it. It has his symtems. Hope this helps.

Freindly Face

Quote:

Originally Posted by tam

Hi All...
My first post...I am feeling welcomed by the support ive sensed in the threads Im reading.

I'm interested in thoughts and experiences related to this situation...

Ive been in a relationship for over four years. I was aware that my partner was less experienced or 'tuned in' to womens needs when we first got together and waited much longer than I was used to to orgasm- the first 6 months was about him until I got the courage up to communicate it and do something about it.

He has always been uncomfortable with me initiating sex and I have given him the space he has asked for- and not initiated sex, however I am no longer comfotable with this arrangement. He likes to receive oral sex but will not reciprocate so I dont give it to him anymore. During my recent pregnancy I explained to him that I was feeling an increased desire to have sex, he responded that he was uncomfortable having sex with me being heavily pregnant. We therefore has sex about once every 3 weeks.

I am increasingly feeling unwilling to accomodate all his sex issues and am becoming the queen of passive aggressive attitude! Or maybe its called sexual frustration (lol) but its feeling very unbalanced. What makes my blood boil is that since having our child we are having sex approximately ever 3 weeks ( I expressed to him 2-3 times a week was my wish but negotiable to 1-2 times a week) and its not even close. He has a small porn collection which I am aware he is using weekly/fortnightly and looks keenly at other women. He doesnt get it when i bring this stuff up (or doesnt want to) and his response makes me wonder if im a sex crazed maniac ( I know im not).

SO Im wondering what this is about. His own sexual insecurity, lack of insight and his total ignorance.

solanki · February 25th, 2009, 09:28 AM

your experience is very good i hope your the most beatiful person in your life. your sharing life's experience methods is very impressive.

PoohsBigSister · February 25th, 2009, 02:38 PM

Hi...
First, CONGRATS on the new baby!!

Now, as for the hubby, perhaps it's time to seek a third parties help? Would he see a therapist with you to discuss the issues you have? They could help guide you two to a more common and liveable ground. It's worth the asking!

Keep coming back!!

We love chatting around here!

January 3rd, 2009, 07:18 AM	#1
tam Guest Posts: n/a	pornography, mismatched sexual desire and relationships Hi All... My first post...I am feeling welcomed by the support ive sensed in the threads Im reading. I'm interested in thoughts and experiences related to this situation... Ive been in a relationship for over four years. I was aware that my partner was less experienced or 'tuned in' to womens needs when we first got together and waited much longer than I was used to to orgasm- the first 6 months was about him until I got the courage up to communicate it and do something about it. He has always been uncomfortable with me initiating sex and I have given him the space he has asked for- and not initiated sex, however I am no longer comfotable with this arrangement. He likes to receive oral sex but will not reciprocate so I dont give it to him anymore. During my recent pregnancy I explained to him that I was feeling an increased desire to have sex, he responded that he was uncomfortable having sex with me being heavily pregnant. We therefore has sex about once every 3 weeks. I am increasingly feeling unwilling to accomodate all his sex issues and am becoming the queen of passive aggressive attitude! Or maybe its called sexual frustration (lol) but its feeling very unbalanced. What makes my blood boil is that since having our child we are having sex approximately ever 3 weeks ( I expressed to him 2-3 times a week was my wish but negotiable to 1-2 times a week) and its not even close. He has a small porn collection which I am aware he is using weekly/fortnightly and looks keenly at other women. He doesnt get it when i bring this stuff up (or doesnt want to) and his response makes me wonder if im a sex crazed maniac ( I know im not). SO Im wondering what this is about. His own sexual insecurity, lack of insight and his total ignorance.

February 25th, 2009, 02:38 PM	#4
PoohsBigSister Long Live WOW!! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: CO Posts: 1,791	Hi... First, CONGRATS on the new baby!! Now, as for the hubby, perhaps it's time to seek a third parties help? Would he see a therapist with you to discuss the issues you have? They could help guide you two to a more common and liveable ground. It's worth the asking! Keep coming back!! We love chatting around here! __________________ "Life is a flower of which love is the honey." Victor Hugo

February 25th, 2009, 09:28 AM	#3
solanki Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 6	your experience is very good i hope your the most beatiful person in your life. your sharing life's experience methods is very impressive.