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Old October 26th, 2010, 10:47 AM   #16
Wolf_angel
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The only thing I can or will say is this: that you may love the other...yet think of the one who may love you. Also anyone else involved in that relationship. If there are no children involved which is the best course for you? Divorce? Or Distance? Make the choice you will have to live with. No one can tell you who to love and not to love. Yet look at the whole picture before you move. I know its hard. Yet would be in your best interest to do so. Wish you all the best. Good Luck!
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Old December 6th, 2010, 01:29 AM   #17
rubyanne11
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I have been married for 5 years but I've been with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old daughter-who is perfect! We moved to our house about a year ago and in the spring of this past year I did a lot of walking and met some neighbors. Well, my neighbor about 6 houses down is a single cop. I would say hi to him as i passed when he was outside and then we would have very short small talk. At first I thought it was a silly crush because I've always had a thing for cops. Total cliche right? But now, I don't know if its infatuation or if I am in puppy love or what. I feel like I'm losing my mind! I can't talk to anyone about it. Am I just bored with my life? I thought I was happy with my husband and I would never divorce him but sometimes I imagine a life with my neighbor. I just feel like a crazy person because I think about him all the time!
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Old December 7th, 2010, 01:57 PM   #18
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I understand. I have been with my partner for 14 years. Then this man came into my life uxexpectantly who is married but we became friends and flirting set in and now here I am 4 yrs later so in love with him. He does not know. I want to tell him so bad but I am afraid. I do not know for sure how he feels. I know there is a chemistry between us but we have both kept things under control. Oh! he is my neighbor. Although, when we first new him he was not. This is very hard for me. There is something different about the way I feel. I want to spend time with him so badly it truly causes me pain and the fact he does not know how I really feel about him drives me crazy. I know we both have our obligations but I admit it, I want to have an affair with him. I want him in my life. These feelings just grew over time I did not plan it. Now here I am and so scared to tell him. I do not want to go my whole life like this and him never knowing. If there is any advice please share. I am truly so scared to tell him. I do not think he knows the depth of my feelings.
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Old December 8th, 2010, 07:44 PM   #19
precious
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For two years I have been functioning, seen Nester and his girlfriend for dinner with my hubby a few times over the past two years. I just found out she has cancer and it doesn't look good. I have not spoken to him yet. I don't know what to say to help him. I love him but I don't want to take advantage of his vulnerability. However, I can't just ignore it either.

It has gotten easier for me, less painful over time. Time does heal, but I still think of him every day a lot.
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Old December 8th, 2010, 11:08 PM   #20
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I'm married and love someone else

In response to the girl who posted before me, tell the guy. At least it wil be out there and you let him know how you feel. I told Nester, we've remained friends, no harm came from it. I just think life is too short to not let someone know.
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Old December 9th, 2010, 03:27 AM   #21
georgie
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I know how you are feeling. I have been in love with another person all my life. Read about it. Hurting bad. Life is cruel and too short, but it goes on whatever the circumstances. I know from experience that a person should always follow their heart to be happy in this life. Good luck
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Old April 2nd, 2011, 06:08 PM   #22
Piti
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Help

I've been married for 6 years and been with my husband for 10, IMet this guy, and to make things short , we eneded up together, and we've been seen eachother for 1 year almost, I'm a mother of 2 and I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I wanna be with my lover but I'm scared and not only that , my religion is extremely strict well at least my family is towards a separation. My husband is a great guy. I just don't love him anymore, I feel so fustrated, alone and stuck! !
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Old April 11th, 2011, 11:41 PM   #23
lost
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Please, please help

I've been married for 25yrs but I have never been "in love". I met someone that I work with 9yrs ago. 8years ago we had our first kiss and began a sinful relationship. He always made me feel like I was the only one in his life and made me feel guilty for going home to a family. In October 2010 I found out that he was also seeing this other girl that he swore he would never date. I found out that he had been messing around with her for 3yrs. I could figure it out since I was with me all the time. Anyways, he assured me that everyone was lying to me about her and that I was the one that he cared for. I was his number 1. 2wks later he admitted everything. He then decided to dump me because he did not want to do bad things anymore. However, he still hooked up with me a few times more. It wasn't until I spied on him and found out that he was still seeing her that everything blew up. In the following 5 months that he supposedly gave her a commitment he continued to ask about me and told a friend that he thinks of me everyday. During our years together he has told me that he love me but he never elaborated on to what extent and I never pushed. But when I lost him is when I realized that I was actually in love with him. I waited and then 3wks ago he texted me and had broken up with her. We hooked up for the evening. Within a 14hr period we had sex 3x's, he kissed me like he had never kissed me before so passionate, we talked and he still looked at me and touched me the way he did before. Him and I has always had a very passionate attraction to one another, Even after the years past we were still very attracted as if it was the first time we met. But after I left I found out that for the next day and 1/2 he had cried and said that his feelings for me were not there anymore. After a lengthy conversation for a few days, I even asked if we could remain friends and he said that it would not be healthy. What does this mean? Is he so stubborn that he is hiding is true feelings for me and lying? He is a very difficult person to get the truth out of. But if you did not have feelings for someone would you cry for 2 days? If you really love someone, you can't be friends with them, right? I even asked if he and I should try to spend some time together again and he refused is that because he knows that he has feelings? I don't understand. He is claiming that after 8yrs only 5 months away from each other has taken all that away. I think I'm going crazy. I told him that this time would not be the same, I would leave to be with him. His ex texted me and said this "he has feelings for you. He denies what he feels the deepest for, you know this. You have what I can only wish for. Open your eyes as I have" I need someone to analyze this for me. I'm desperate and I don't know if I need to give up or continue. In one hand, I believe you should fight for what you feel is right but on the other hand do I? I've always had a wall up and never been in love until him. I was ready to give up 25yrs for him I knew exactly what I wanted and all I needed for him to say was that nothing has changed for him. HELP!
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Old April 28th, 2011, 08:32 AM   #24
precious
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My husband finally noticed last night that I don't want to have sex with him. It only took 3 years! I used the easy excuse that I'm tired. Looks like I have two choices: fake it or an eventual divorce. I've tried pretending he is Nester but that doesn't work.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 07:39 PM   #25
sistergirl
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preious, you mentioned you only have two choices. Would you consider counseling for yourself and maybe your husband as well to see why the desire for him has faded?
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Old May 1st, 2011, 11:12 PM   #26
precious
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I tried counseling. The answer was time will take care of this and it has to a degree. I wouldn't know where to begin to get him to counseling.
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Old June 28th, 2011, 05:37 PM   #27
lalaphil
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I have been in love with Phil since I was 21 years old. I'm 43 now. I'm very happily married, but I'm not in love with my husband the way I am with Phil. I have gone through many stages in the last many years...some where I would validate my feelings and totally go with the feeling of being in love, then I would deny myself even thinking about Phil for fear I might say his name out loud. Once I got rid of all pictures of him, then years later I found some negatives and had them printed out. I keep them hidden.

I have harbored this secret within me and no one in my entire life knows how I feel about Phil. I guess just knowing that I am not the only woman in the world feeling the way I do is a comfort to me. But it's really hard. Right now I'm in between acknowledging my feelings and getting ready to put them back on the shelf again. Sometimes it makes me feel like half a person. Other times, I feel like such a fool that I would even love someone this long.

In case you're wondering, I did lose contact with him for a long time. I paid a locator service online and they found him for me. After my first divorce, I called him and found that he was married and had a 12-year-old stepdaughter. He sounded the same and even said that if I was ever in .... to give him a call. I never went there and never did call him again. Now I'm married and have a 1 1/2 year old son and am so happy about that. I wouldn't change anything for the world. But I had to know that I'm not alone in this feeling.

Thanks ladies for being out there and being honest about your feelings.
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Old June 29th, 2011, 10:10 PM   #28
sistergirl
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I see you even have his name in your screen name. I understand the depth of what you are feeling. I am not married and have loved someone all of my life (story on my forum). I hope you can place Phil in the back of your heart and allow your feelings for your husband to come alive. It's hard and how you have kept this to yourself all of these years must be agonizing. love to have you come chat about your story, your feelings at my forum lala. If you are interested, you can Private message me.
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Old July 11th, 2011, 04:31 AM   #29
shoaib
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hi
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Old July 11th, 2011, 04:31 AM   #30
shoaib
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hi darling
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