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Old May 29th, 2009, 05:59 PM   #31
PoohsBigSister
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GIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok...here's another one:

Mommy's Way
A man went to the store with his 3-year-old daughter in tow. Since he was just there to grab some essentials like milk and bread, he opted to save some time by not pushing a cart around the store.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him.

"I know, dear, but Daddy's way is OK, too," he replied.

Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk quickly to the car. Not wanting to set anything down on the wet ground, he set the jug of milk on top of the car, efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free hand, scooted the groceries in and set his daughter into the car seat in one swift motion. Then he hopped in himself.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him again.

"Honey, there's more than one way to do things," he replied patiently. "Daddy's way is OK, too."

As they pulled out and headed down the street, he became aware of the scraping sound on the roof as the jug of milk slid down the length of the rooftop, bounced off the trunk of the car and splattered to the ground, sending a froth of white milk in every direction.

In the millisecond he took to process his mistake, his young daughter looked at him, and in a most serious voice said, "That's NOT the way Mommy does it."
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Old May 30th, 2009, 01:48 AM   #32
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Here's one I was told a couple years ago:

A boy was playing outside, when it started to rain. His mom said he had to come in. So he said: mom can I keep my frogs? She said yes just for the night. So he took his 3 frogs into the bathroom.
He put one in the sink, one in the tub and one in the toilet. Then off to bed he went. Next morning he goes and gets them and puts them in a box. The frog in the tub asked the frog in the sink How was your night? The frog says well it was ok till it started raining in one place. So the frog in the sink asked the frog in the tub How was your night? The frog says well it was alright till it started to flood. So they both looked at the frog who was in the toilet and said How was your night. The frog says well, first it got dark then it started to rain and then the logs came tumble down !!!!! LOL
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Old October 31st, 2009, 09:37 PM   #33
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So it's winter, which generally means that very few people go camping. The sporting goods store finds that they have a whole bunch of camping tents in their stock room...way too late to return to the manufacturer. So they put them on the sales floor at a large discount and a sign stating (ahem): "This is the winter of our discount tent."
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 09:09 AM   #34
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ROFLMAO!!!!! rj, I haven't heard that one but it sounds like something the one sporting good store out here would do!!
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Old November 3rd, 2009, 07:27 PM   #35
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My son told that to me. I couldn't decide whether to glare at him or laugh. (Yeah, I laughed and immediately shared it.)
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Old June 28th, 2010, 11:31 PM   #36
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when my husband & I arrived @ car dealers 2 pick up our car, we
were told that the keys had been locked in it.
We went 2 the service department & found a mechanic working
feverishly 2 unlock the driver?s side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle & discovered
that it was unlocked.
Hey, I announced 2 the technician, its open!
He replied, I know, I already done that side.
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Old July 4th, 2010, 11:31 AM   #37
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What goes up and doesn't come down???? Your age!
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Old October 16th, 2010, 03:18 PM   #38
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Thanks you guys! I laughed out loud for the first time in days, it really felt good. I am glad I found this forum and became a member. You guys are awesome!
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Old January 14th, 2011, 09:53 AM   #39
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Why did the cross the road?

Because it was follwing the scent of the .
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Old August 5th, 2011, 07:11 PM   #40
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The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yeah they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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Old August 5th, 2011, 07:14 PM   #41
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lmbo
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Old August 6th, 2011, 09:12 AM   #42
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Little girl says to her Mom Hey Mom I got some pot!
Mom angry and surprised asked her 6 year old little girl Where did you get it?
Little girl says At the Store Mom.
Mom worried and still upset ask her little girl Ok Let me see it
Little girl pulls her pot out of her pocket and shows it on the palm of her hand See Mom here is my Pot!
Mom faints
Dad asks why did Mom faint?
Little girl says I showed her my pot
* The pot is the kind a little girl would have for her doll house! LOL
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