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Old October 23rd, 2005, 09:42 AM   #16
firewife2104
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hehehehe
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Old October 23rd, 2005, 09:25 PM   #17
IRISH_EYES_99
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And I'd be right with LiamFan wringing your neck.

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Old October 25th, 2005, 07:21 PM   #18
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auhhhhhhhhhh hahahaha
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Old October 25th, 2005, 07:22 PM   #19
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Oh, I about forgot.

Happy Halloween!!!!!!
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Old December 19th, 2007, 10:13 PM   #20
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Talking A spanish Teacher and computer

A SPANISH Teacher Was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz.."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons
for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender
("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate
with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one,
you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded
that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"),
because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.
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Old December 20th, 2007, 12:55 PM   #21
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Wolf_angel. Thank you so much!!! I really needed that. I have the worst 2 days. All day til 6:30 yesterday at the physi hospital with on of the kids. Today I hurt, as I started phyisacal theropy My back hurts more now than it did when I went in the place. Sorry my spelling sucks!
With that a Merry Christmas to all of you and keep smiling. I know I am trying.
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Old March 23rd, 2010, 10:07 PM   #22
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you have to go to school

Mary is whimpering in her bed and doesn't want to go to school.

"The students hate me. The teachers hate me. They give me way too much work."

Her mother tells her "But Mary you have to go to school. You're the principal."
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Old March 23rd, 2010, 10:42 PM   #23
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LOL gurl that was a good funny! Thank you for sharing!

Have a better day today than yesterday!
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Old January 9th, 2011, 03:11 PM   #24
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Female Brain Cell

Once there was a female brain cell, mistakenly ended up in a man's head.She looked around but everything was empty and quiet.
"Hello?"she called.
"Is anyone here?" she said a little louder.
Now the female brain cell started to get upset. She so she yelled: "HELLO! IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"
Then she heard a far away voice:"Hello, we're down here...."
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Old January 9th, 2011, 03:28 PM   #25
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So funny, Uni! And true. We are smarter!
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Old January 9th, 2011, 07:03 PM   #26
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Heres your sign

A guy and a woman get in a car accident.
Both cars are totaled but the drivers are unhurt.
After crawling out of the cars the woman says"Hmm.. your a guy. I'm a woman. Just look at our cars. They are junk and we are not hurt.This must be a sign from God. That we should be friends and live together for the rest of our days.
The man is flattered and replies"Yes I agree with you."
"This must be a sign from God!" the woman says then adds,"And look another miracle. My bottle of wine didn't break in the crash. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate or life."
She hands the bottle to the guy. He agrees, then opens and drinks half the bottle.Then he hands it back to the woman. She immediately caps the bottle and hands it back.
The guy asks" Hey aren't you going to have any?"
She replies "No thank you I'll just wait for the cops..."
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Old January 9th, 2011, 07:22 PM   #27
Jennifer23
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That one was OK, Uni, but I liked you're other one better. I'll have to send one to you.
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Old January 9th, 2011, 07:54 PM   #28
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Well ok then how about this one:
One woman asks,"Why don't men get mad cow disease?"
The other womans says, "That's because all men are pigs."
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Old January 10th, 2011, 06:35 AM   #29
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I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30am. I had just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45 already.

The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the procedure, as I am sure you all do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he said:

"My...we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day went normal, some shopping, cleaning and the evening meal, etc.

At 8:30 that evening my 14 year old daughter was fixing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom - where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get another from the cabinet.

She called back, "No - I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it."
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Old January 10th, 2011, 09:18 AM   #30
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Omg Rofl. A glittery WooHoo.LOL, snort.

<---has book called goddesses and dogs that says something about one, but I don't think thats what it ment. Lol
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