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Old February 1st, 2011, 09:37 AM   #16
Elusive Unicorn
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unknown-ml have you taked to you pastor or what ever the leader of your faith is about love? Love takes faith. You can not touch it, You can see things it does but not see love itself. It takes faith just like God. All good things come to those who wait. Love is not something you can demand to be there and it is. You must give love to recevie love. You must love who you see in the mirror frist. If you want unconditional love get a pet. They do not judge and are happy to see you.
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Old February 1st, 2011, 06:23 PM   #17
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There is an old saying that "love is blind" and that is indeed true but lust has eyes and not much else!

I have been around this ol' world a long time (61 years) and can assure you that you need to have a GOOD relationship with yourself, to LOVE yourself before you are likely to find love from someone else. You need to be complete in yourself rather than looking for someone else to complete you.

As to love, I KNOW there is such a thing as true love though it is very rare indeed while love is not uncommon at all. I have no doubt many people live their lives with someone out of "convenience" to to stave off the loneliness without ever being in love. Others find the simple, comfortable love and happily live their lives. A lucky few find true love and know the difference.
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Old February 11th, 2011, 01:56 AM   #18
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sorry wdiannes, being in love with yourself is just gross and stupid. it cant be done
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Old February 11th, 2011, 08:24 PM   #19
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Unknown, if you can't love yourself, who can you love? I love me, but sometimes people find it hard to link with others. It's life.
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Old February 12th, 2011, 12:10 PM   #20
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then i will never find love, because i hate myself
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Old February 12th, 2011, 01:01 PM   #21
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unknown-ml have you talked to a doctor about depression? You sound like you might need to. I do not mean to offend you with this advise. It just seams like you need some help. You should not hate yourself. You need to list all your redeeming qualites. Just wright them down. Then remind yourself that you are worthy. Everyone is!
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Old February 12th, 2011, 05:28 PM   #22
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Unknown, there's only one you! Love yourself, and like Uni said, if it takes another party to help you, then do it! You were put on the Earth for a reason, so try to make it a good reason.
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Old February 17th, 2011, 01:37 AM   #23
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to all who think i need to love myself. my pshcologist told me that i dont have to love myself to be loved. if you tell a depressed person this it only make the depression worse because they think that it is their fault that they are not loved.
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Old February 17th, 2011, 12:17 PM   #24
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I understand, Unknown. But, I think it helps if you at least like yourself. I'd say that if you treat other people with respect, and smile, they would have to like you - or, at the very least, not dislike you.
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Old February 18th, 2011, 08:50 PM   #25
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Hi Unknown-ml...I read your post...and love is very real....love for family....a childhood friend....a pet,...a man...and yes even for yourself....before you enter into a relationship with a man and half sex.....you first have to learn how to love and take care of yourself....a man can walk into a room full of women..and pick the one out with low self-esteem...based on her posture....and facial expression....and then he will zero in and run his game....so you most likely will attract the wrong man and won't even know it because you in the wrong frame of mind....and you don't need that....
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Old February 18th, 2011, 10:07 PM   #26
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Unknown con't.....maybe you need to put relationship and sex on the back burner for now and work on yourself....start by looking in the mirror and picking out your positive attributes....hair face,eyes, nose, teeth,skin,body shape,legs feet etc.....give yourself a facial....a pedicure....find a polish that you like and that compliments your skin...paint yor nails....learn how to arch your eyebrows...there are tips on line....try a new lipstick...pick out a top or blouse and a pair of jeans that you look good in...the outfit doesn't have to be fantsy....just one that you feel good in........

If you are not working get a job...earning your own money will help you feel good about yoursef and also help you to gain some financial control over your life....if you haven't chosen a career....what do yo want to be?.....apply for financial aid and enroll in school.....there are alot of interesting things to learn...a new language....creative writing....etc.....

If you feel that you need to shed a couple of pounds or tone up...start eating more healthy...start walking with someone or exercise....there are books in the library that can help you gain some insight....on positive thinking and getting control and the things you want in life......what do you want?....for yourself?.....

Try telling yourself positive things....like I feel good today...or I made a good decision today.....I look or feel pretty in that dress or with my hair like that....what you tell yourself good or bad affects you inside and out....and what you believe or feel that is true about you is reflected outward into the world...and other people pick up on that...men as well as women ....and they will usually reflect what they pick up from you back to you....so you want project the good feeling out into the world from with in...that you develope by loving and caring for yourself......so that you can attract that man who will love treat you well.....

Life is what you make it....why not make it the best life that you can have?.........Take Care of Yourself....
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Old February 19th, 2011, 01:18 AM   #27
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thank you jane20/20, but i have tried all of those things but nothing covers up the after effects of a stroke that affected the face. i paste on a phoney smile every day and no one knows how i feel inside. yes i have a job (it is a pay check ) men see my pic and leave and some have told me that i am not their type just by seeing my pic. all the want is sex, there is no love in that, since they dont like me, neither do i. love between men and women is dead, but sex and lust is alive and well.
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Old February 20th, 2011, 12:09 AM   #28
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Unknown, I don't know what I could possibly say to help you. I feel bad for you. When I'm feeling down, I think about people that are sightless, or without legs or arms, and then it kind of puts things in perspective for me. When I feel bad for myself, I just think of all the people that are much worse off than I am. I know that my words probably won't help, but that's what I do. I wish you all the best!
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Old February 20th, 2011, 01:49 AM   #29
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thanks for the effort jennifer23, sorry to say your words didnt help. i have a broken heart that will never heal
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Old February 20th, 2011, 12:42 PM   #30
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I'll be thinking about you, Unknown.
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