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Old March 7th, 2012, 09:39 PM   #16
Wolf_angel
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Hi Jane20/20! Just so you know I was a peer educator in High School. Mind you I have had safe sex all my life. Yet my current husband cheated on me and I got 2 STD's one that I will have to have checked all the time. Now Husband moved out and I am on my own now. Yet have a man friend, he knows how I feel about sex. That I am still "married" and that nothing can happen til I say so. He respects me for that and other things as well. So if he is patient we may get together. But I have informed him of certain conditions on my health. Thus far he is sticking around. So like I stated before in my prior post, its more about trust issues for me. Have a great day!
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Old March 7th, 2012, 10:21 PM   #17
JANE20/20
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Hi Wolf Angel....I'm sorry to here about your marriage.....I am a licensed healthcare professional....and so I see a some of the STI cases....on the other end as it relates to health and health issues....but as a single mother of a adult son and still remaining celibate of which I mentioned under the topic on this site a year or so ago....when I hear of infidelity.....it's so alarming to me...on so many levels....I'm not dating right know because I feel that there is such a risk for me of contracting something from a man who is not faithful....so...when I do date...there is absolutely no sex involved...in fact I don't know if I will allow myself to kiss a man at this point......there is a risk in that..simply because people do have oral sex....and how do I know that he didn't just perform oral sex on some female wife, girlfriend or maybe a man...how do I know that?....it's crazy.....but this is how dating is now......it's scary also......
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Old March 8th, 2012, 10:46 AM   #18
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Con't....from earlier this is a subject that truly hits home for me....mainly because I am single and I do think about dating at times...I'm not bound by celibacy...this is what I choose for now...it keeps me safe.....even in healthcare settings....a lot of adults are really changing partners frequently...and or are having affairs...sometimes without their spouses knowing.......I worked a job where alot of these female employees were saying how a very well to do man was asking them for sex....and how many of them were accommidating him......meaning that they were all sleeping with him...and told all of the things explicitly that went on....then it was said by someone who was there that he wanted oral sex....and quite a few of them did it.....now these females let them tell it... had husbands, and boyfriends living with them....now did those men know about this man and what these women were doing?....I doubt it....most people do not have a open relationship...these grown women thought absolutely nothing about having sex or forms of sex meaning oral sex, giving or receiving with another man....nothing at all....just think about the potential for vaginal fluids ,sperm and anal secretions that can be passed along inadvertently in a kiss to a unsuspecting date male or female..from the other person on that date...simply because alot of people are sexually active and do everything with the people that they have sex with.......it's just....there are no words...really....really there aren't.....but a lot of people seem to be living like that today...I guess that's why those female co-workers thought that there was something wrong with me.....I guess because I wasn't permiscuous like they are.......and their behavior makes it bad for women who want to date and find a man who will commit......it's exhausting just thinking about it.....so I'm sitting on the sidelines for now.....there is no such thing as casual sex for me....there has to be a relationship/commitment established for me before I would even think about having sex...let alone do it......I feel that a spiritual connection is made when men and women have sexual intercourse....
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Old March 9th, 2012, 05:54 AM   #19
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The point is tis a person's choice and they will be accountable one time or another. Needless to say, I thought I was building up a new relationship with Sam but alas I dont know if I want that. You see my problem is I'd rather have anyone tell me anything as long as you dont lie. So if you omit part of the truth when you originally knew it all, is that telling a lie? Plus with the increase of people having sex any way they can, I found out in phlebotomy class that STD and etc are up in certain ages. 12 to 18 and <omfgoodness> Over 50. I dont know about any of you but that is scarey. I always preach and do safe sex. Now I just rather have a B.O.B. this way I dont share and have no worries about the rest. That is my opinion and works for me yet maybe wont work for another. Have a great day!
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Old March 10th, 2012, 12:00 AM   #20
JANE20/20
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.....Yeah I know that the STD or STI cases are on the rise among teenagers and people in or approaching the golden years ........ .....there was a report in the late 90's on one of the syndicated news shows like 20/20 or Prime time....that did a segment about the retirees in Florida who where infected with HIV....that....was....so...alarming...to me....I just sat there with my mouth open...I couldn't believe it....I remember thinking at that time that Viagra had elderly people who probably wouldn't have been having sex.....involved in all of these sexual activities because because someone got an erection because of this little blue pill.....so...people who are retired and should be enjoying their golden years....are having unprotected sex and developing cases of STD's and HIV as a result.....it's really sad....really it is....but in our society as great as it is....the one thing that they do in the media is promote sex...up there with food, water, and air......and it is not....but people by into it....and so we have all of these issues related to sex and sexually transmitted infections.....you can't really have all of this sexual freedom and act on it....without the problems that go along with it.....there is HIV/AIDS awareness days or month...which is good.....but nobody thinks about the fact that the way that most people live today referring to sex....contributes greatly to the continuous spread of that very disease and other forms of STI's............when I think about all of that.....it's more than I want to deal with.....considering all aspects of the act....there is nothing casual about it....not really....so no dating for me for now.....
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Old March 11th, 2012, 09:32 PM   #21
Jennifer23
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I agree with you, Jane. But it is about trust. If you're with someone for quite awhile, there is a mutual trust there. It shouldn't be about one night stands.
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Old March 25th, 2012, 02:27 PM   #22
Jennifer23
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I'm glad to be with a boyfriend that I trust and have known for quite awhile. David is very special to me and I am to him. None of us can really control things outside of our own relationships, so we try to do the best in the relationships that we're in. I would love to marry David and have a baby with him, but I don't know for sure that it's going to happen. So in the meantime, I don't take anything for granted. I just appreciate all the hugs and kisses that he gives me.
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Old March 26th, 2012, 09:39 AM   #23
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Though I'm only 19 I'm pretty old-fashioned when it comes to my personal choices. But I do believe they are just that, the choice of the individual. Everyone should be free to do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So as I personally wish to only have one partner in my life, I would not expect anyone else to make those same choices. I would not judge any woman who chose to have casual sex if that's what she wants.
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Old March 26th, 2012, 07:45 PM   #24
Jennifer23
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I agree with you, A.Lynn. We all have choices to make, and as far as sex goes, they should be safe choices. You sound like you know yourself pretty well.
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Old March 27th, 2012, 06:24 AM   #25
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Thank you Jennifer, that is very kind of you to say.
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Old March 27th, 2012, 04:37 PM   #26
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Thanks A.Lynn, but you get it as far as this topic goes and I'm pretty sure that you get it as far as other issues go. At 19, you may have replaced me as the youngest one here! Wolfie affectionately calls me "the bratling" LOL!
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Old March 28th, 2012, 01:17 PM   #27
A.Lynn
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Haha I am sorry to strip you of your title. But yeah, I hope I have a handle on thingsat least. I just feel like I need to branch out a bit more. It's difficult to make friends if you don't do anything.
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Old March 28th, 2012, 10:02 PM   #28
Jennifer23
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Hey, you can make friends with anyone!
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Old March 29th, 2012, 08:57 AM   #29
A.Lynn
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I just don't know where to go to meet people I would want to be friends with and even if I did, I don't think I could just walk up to a stranger. Which is why I'm hoping to make friends here.
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Old March 30th, 2012, 08:04 PM   #30
Jennifer23
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A.Lynn, I'm a stranger, but we're friends now.
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